
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Sometimes you may find yourself stuck in a rut that is frustrating and mind numbing. If you re in such a situation, it could be an indication that you need to reprogram your mind. This will help you set realistic goals for yourself and lead a more fulfilling life. Before getting to how to reprogram your mind, it is important to first understand how the mind works.

Mind vs Brain

In colloquial terms, the words mind and brain may be used interchangeably but, the two are in fact not the same. While the brain is a physical organ, the mind can be described as a virtual entity present within each cell of our body and extended to minimum 2 inches outside body. That is why mind controls body. It is more like a collection of thoughts, emotions, imagination and memories. When compared to a computer, the brain acts as the hardware while the mind is the software within it.

The Three States of Mind 
The mind can be categorized into three states: 

Conscious
Subconscious 
Unconscious
Actions that need you to make an effort and think about what you are doing are said to be performed by the conscious mind. The subconscious mind refers to information that is accessible to you when needed and otherwise not something you pay attention to. For example, when walking down the road to your house, your mind subconsciously creates landmarks. The unconscious mind consists largely of primitive instincts and memories from early childhood that may not be easily recalled.

Unconscious mind also contains memories from past lives. That has been proved by father of modern hypnotherapy, Dr. Brian Weiss. Thus hypnotherapy under supervision is a great tool for reprogramming your mind. Embedding positive cognitive scripts / suggestions through hypnosis helps in reprogramming mind. 

A majority of our daily functions are controlled by the unconscious mind. The memories stored in our unconscious mind are responsible for many decisions that we make based on beliefs. Thus, training the unconscious can help reprogram the mind and make it more productive.

Here are three easy tips to help you make your unconscious more efficient.

Meditation: Meditation not only calms the mind and reduces stress, but can also help train the unconscious mind. Meditation helps increase your ability to concentrate on an activity and achieve the desired level of mental focus. This, in turn, helps develop new ideas and increases your belief in yourself.
Visualize what you want to achieve: Merely telling yourself that you want to do better is not enough. You need to set a goal for yourself and visualize it to begin working towards it. Create a visual board of the type of house you would like to live in, the lifestyle you would like to have, the job you would like to have etc. avoid generalized visions and be specific about what you want.
Hypnotherapy: Hypnotherapy is a safe, brief and effective way to deal with many emotional and anxiety-related issues, such as those listed on the right. It enables you to deal with your own mental challenges and blocks, so that you can build on your strengths and take control of your life. 

Reprogramming the Mind - How it Helps You?

A large number of people in the world suffer or has suffered from speech disorders like stuttering or stammering at some point in their lives. Stuttering or stammering is the involuntary disruption or interruption in speech where certain sounds are prolonged or words are repeated. Speech disorder can cause a lot of problems in terms of personality build up and causes anxiety in people. Every activity of the body is dealt or controlled by the nervous system and the brain. Thus the proper functioning of the body is the sole responsibility of the brain and any glitch can affect the functions to a certain extent.

What are the symptoms of speech disorders?

Words are repeated
Prolongation of words or silent blocks
Hesitation while speaking
Difficulty while starting a word or a phrase
What causes speech disorders?

Genetic problems
Impatience
Stress, Shame and Anxiety
Embarrassment and nervousness
Loss of control while speaking
Ayurvedic remedies to overcome speech disorders:

Brahmi Oil: It is a stimulant that is known to calm your mind and boost the function of the brain. Take 10 ml of the oil and warm it. Cool it down to a suitable temperature and apply to your head when it is lukewarm, half an hour before going for a shower. You can also apply it before going to bed and shampoo the morning after. This is more effective.
Black pepper, almond and sugar candy: Take black pepper, and make a paste out of it. To the paste, add 7 ground almonds and mix it with sugar candy. Consume this paste every day for at least a month.
Amla: It is an effective remedy, especially in children to stop stammering. Also known as Indian Gooseberry, it should be chewed on to slowly every day.
Cow's Butter: Also called as ghee, it is responsible for brain development and is known to increase memory. Add this ingredient to your food.

Speech Disorders - How Ayurveda Can Help You?

Drug addiction is an addiction of a very severe kind. This causes the sufferer i. E. The drug addict to seek and use drugs compulsively despite the destructive consequences to themselves and those around them. This is known as a chronic brain disease because of the functional and structural changes it causes in the brain. It is the overpowering dependence on illegal or legal medications and drugs. One cannot quit taking drugs just by strong will or good intentions. Ayurveda's holistic method combines exercises, meditation, and herbal medicines to cure addiction towards drugs.

Ayurvedic remedies:

Panchakarma therapies-only an ayurvedic expert should perform the panchakarma therapies and rituals on you. It promotes cleanliness and helps in detoxifying the body. These therapies are done using various herbs and oils in accordance with the ancient traditions to eliminate negative conditions.
Virechana-it is the most useful panchakarma therapy to treat addiction. Virechana is known to cleanse the gastro-intestinal tract and purify the blood of toxins of a period of a few days. It helps decontaminate your spleen, stomach, liver, kidneys, colon, intestines and sweat glands through varied herbs and laxatives such as castor oil, mango juice, raisins, cow's milk, psyllium seeds, flaxseed husk, prune and senna.
Rasayana therapies-rasayana therapy is another very useful ayurvedic treatment for treating drug abuse and addiction. It is based upon the transmutation and conservation of energy to improve the mental as well as physical characteristics in order to increase your body's natural metabolic processes while enhancing your immune system and brain function. Rasayana therapy consists of intricate face, head and full body massages which are combined with medicated creams and herb oils. This therapy is also useful to remove artificial aging which occurs due to prolonged drug abuse.
Yoga-the chaotic chemicals are known to wreak havoc on the drug addict's brain during the process of recovery. Resorting to exercise or yoga will help generate extra endorphins which are very helpful for clarity. To recover from drug addiction, you must join a structured yoga class along with other ayurvedic therapies. Yoga is beneficial since it stimulates every part of your body without applying too much stress on any one part.

Ayurvedic Remedies for Drug Addiction

Asperger's syndrome has been found to affect people at a tender age. The augmented impacts of this syndrome are felt as you grow up. It is a neurological disorder falling under the scope of autistic spectrum disorders. However, it is a milder form of autism and has similarly unidentifiable causes. A person afflicted with asperger's syndrome will not exhibit stark signs of the disorder. These persons are usually smart and brilliant but face issues in communicating or interacting socially. 

Factors that may result in this disorder: 

A) genetic factors could also afflict you with such a syndrome. Thus, it is important to carry your family history while consulting a doctor.
B) certain changes in a person's brain could create trouble. 
C) your body could be susceptible to external toxins: many times bacteria and viruses from a polluted environment can lead you to such a serious neurological condition.

Ways to diagnose asperger's syndrome: 
1. A doctor would concentrate on your child's speech- language development can hint at many underlying health issues. Your child might fail to process speech around him or her which impairs its own speech.

2. Exchanges in a social setup could be indicative of something- children or adults could find social 
Gatherings challenging. They feel awkward to interact with friends, relatives and colleagues. It takes a lot of effort on their part to exchange basic pleasantries. A doctor will be able to deduce from such symptoms.

3. Facial expressions while conversing could help diagnosis- a person's facial expressions tell a lot about how they formulate or feel about things. Their words, at the same time, could be contrary. Counselors lay stress on frequent sittings to closely note the gestures made by a patient. 

4. Comprehension and coordination capabilities- your child or loved one might find it difficult to handle motor regulated appliances. Comprehending instructions could also be a test. People suffering from asperger's syndrome face problems in understanding simple things. 

5. Responding to change will also be taken into consideration- patients trying to cope with this syndrome are usually not open to change. They take a very long time to adapt to a given way of life; a sudden change will thwart their idea of normalcy.

Causes and Diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome

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