
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Every smoker knows smoking is not good, yet the addiction stays. This addiction can lead to a variety of problems that can damage their body in  at times, irreparable ways. The tar in cigarettes is particularly damaging. It can lead to reduction in oxygen consumption and replenishment in the body and makes open or more susceptible to diseases such as emphysema and bronchitis. However the biggest killer is 'nicotine. There are ways to offset nicotine intake.

Adopt these methods to detox your body of nicotine.
 
1) Drink lots of water -  Having a lot of water helps. Lime water, chamomile or green tea help a lot in flushing out the nicotine that has accumulated your body for over the years.

2) Take diet rich in nutrients and fibres - Nicotine addiction and if you quit, smoking withdrawal may lead to unbalanced diet and weight gain. So, ensure that you consume enough fibre for regular bowel movement to clean out your system. Berries, grapes, mangoes and a variety of antioxidants are a must have.

3) Avoid these foods - There are certain foods you should consider avoiding. For instance, alcohol. Also, avoid soda, caffeine and fried foods as well.

4) Exercise - Strengthen the capacity of your lungs through deep breathing and other cardio-strength training exercises.

5) Make 'No Smoke' a Goal - The only long term help in detoxifying your body from nicotine is to remain smoke free. While your determination plays the most important role here, some people can leave it without many hassles, while others witness severe withdrawal symptoms. You can also opt for a nicotine patch or gum to help you with it.

If you have any further questions on issues related to smoking or other general health queries, click on 'consult.

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Can't Stop Smoking? Atleast Follow This Advice.

Raising a child with dyslexia can stir up a lot of emotions. You may look ahead and wonder if this learning issue will affect your child's future. But dyslexia is not a prediction of failure. Dyslexia is quite common, and many successful individuals have dyslexia.

Research has proven that there are different ways of teaching that can help people with dyslexia succeed. There's a lot you can do as a parent too.

What are the symptoms of dyslexia?

Because dyslexia affects some people more severely than others, your child's symptoms may look different from those in another child. Some kids with dyslexia have trouble with reading and spelling. Others may struggle to write or to tell left from right.

Dyslexia can also make it difficult for people to express themselves clearly. It can be hard for them to structure their thoughts during conversation. They may have trouble finding the right words to say.

Others struggle to understand what they're hearing. This is especially true when someone uses nonliteral language such as jokes and sarcasm.

The signs you see may also look different at various ages. Some of the warning signs for dyslexia, such as a speech delay, appear before a child reaches kindergarten. More often, though, dyslexia is identified in grade school. As schoolwork gets more demanding, trouble processing language becomes more apparent.

Here are some signs to look out for:

Warning Signs in Preschool or Kindergarten

Has trouble recognizing the letters of the alphabet

Struggles to match letters to sounds, such as not knowing what sounds b or h make

Has difficulty blending sounds into words, such as connecting C-H-A-T to the word chat

Struggles to pronounce words correctly, such as saying 'mawn lower' instead of 'lawn mower'

Has difficulty learning new words

Has a smaller vocabulary than other kids the same age

Has trouble learning to count or say the days of the week and other common word sequences

Has trouble rhyming

Warning Signs in Grade School or Middle School

Struggles with reading and spelling

Confuses the order of letters, such as writing 'left' instead of 'felt'

Has trouble remembering facts and numbers

Has difficulty gripping a pencil

Has difficulty using proper grammar

Has trouble learning new skills and relies heavily on memorization

Gets tripped up by word problems in math

Has a tough time sounding out unfamiliar words

Has trouble following a sequence of directions

Warning Signs in High School

Struggles with reading out loud

Doesn't read at the expected grade level

Has trouble understanding jokes or idioms

Has difficulty organizing and managing time

Struggles to summarize a story

Has difficulty learning a foreign language

Skills that are affected by Dyslexia-

Dyslexia doesn't just affect reading and writing. Here are some everyday skills and activities your child may be struggling with because of this learning issue:

General

Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."

Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.

High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

Seems to "Zone out" or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

Difficulty sustaining attention; seems "hyper" or "daydreamer."

Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling Skills

Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don't reveal a problem.

Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

Hearing and Speech Skills

Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

Writing and Motor Skills

Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Math and Time Management Skills

Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can't do it on paper.

Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

Memory and Cognition

Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Behavior, Health, Development and Personality

Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

What can be done at home for dyslexia?

Helping your child with dyslexia can be a challenge, particularly if you're never been confident in your own reading and writing skills. But you don't have to be an expert to help work on certain skills or strengthen your child's self-esteem.

Keep in mind that kids (and families) are all different, so not all options will work for you. Don't panic if the first strategies you try aren't effective. You may need to try several approaches to find what works best for your child. Here are some things you can try at home:

Read out loud every day

Tap into your child's interests

Use audiobooks

Look for apps and other high-tech help

Focus on effort, not outcome

Make your home reader-friendly

Boost confidence

What can make the journey easier?

Dyslexia can present challenges for your child and for you. But with the proper support, almost all people with dyslexia can become accurate readers. Your involvement will help tremendously.

Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're just starting out or are well on your way, this site can help you find more ways to support your child. Here are a few things that can help make the journey easier:

Connect with other parents. Remember that you're not alone. Use our safe online community to find parents like you.

Get behavior advice. Parenting Coach offers expert-approved strategies on a variety of issues that can affect children with dyslexia, including trouble with time management, anxiety and fear, frustration and low self-esteem.

Build a support plan. Come up with a game plan and anticipate what lies ahead.

Understanding dyslexia and looking for ways to help your child is an important first step. There's a lot you can do just don't feel you have to do everything all at once. Pace yourself. If you try a bunch of strategies at the same time, it might be hard to figure out which ones are working. And do your best to stay positive. Your love and support can make a big difference in your child's life.

9 Dyslexia Signs & Symptoms - Your Kid is Suffering from it!

What is Addiction?

Addiction is a condition in which individual engages in using a substance or seeking a behaviour which leads to rewarding effects in the brain and it reinforce the individual to repeat the using or seeking behaviour again and again. Addiction develops gradually over a period of time and due to the repetition of same pleasure seeking pattern individual become physically and psychologically dependent on the substance or to any other object at the center of addiction.

People can get addicted to many substances like, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, solvents, etc. In case of these substances, physical and mental dependency both can occur. There are other objects and behaviours which also activate brain reward system in the same way and can make people dependent on them, like gambling, shopping, videogames, watching pornography, etc. But in case of these objects or behaviours, psychological dependency can be more prominent.

It has been seen that there are lots of other mental problems found among individuals suffering from any kind of addiction, like anxiety, depression, personality disorders, psychosis, etc. Individual who is addicted to a substance or an object or behaviour indulge into compulsive pattern of seeking the same inspite of their detrimental consequences. Consequences of addiction can be seen on person s health, personal life, occupational life and social life. Addiction can lead to severe unmanageability in one s life.

Especially when it comes to substances, like alcohol, nicotine or any kind of drugs, we must understand how the tolerance level of the brain develops? Tolerance develops when an individual no longer responds to a substance in the way he/she did at first. So, it takes a higher dose of the substance to achieve the same effect as when the individual first used it. This is why people with substance use disorders use more and more of a drug to get the  high  feeling that they seek.



A blog posted by an alcoholic:

 I always wished I could drink like other people. But I never could. I thought it was the third drink that got me into trouble. If I only had two, then I d be fine. Thing is, once I put that first drink to my lips, I could no longer accurately predict what would happen next. I might go home, but I might not.

You d think if I made it home, then my drinking was a success. Wrong! If I made it home after two drinks, there was an insatiable need raging within me and I was gonna take it out on you.  After all, you re the reason why I had to come home. I would punish my family by being silent, or mean, or emotionally distant.

Looking back, it was never intentional. I didn t purposely choose not to go home.  I didn t leave the house with a suitcase containing a fresh set of clothes, a tooth brush and my cosmetics. Seriously, I was only going out for  a few. 

If anybody can relate to this or can understand this, he or she can understand tolerance, powerlessness and unmanageability.

How to recover from addiction?

To be an addict can t be anybody s choice, but recovery can be one s choice. The first key step to come out of your addiction is developing acceptance. For a person to admit their powerlessness in addiction to drugs or alcohol or to any other object at the center of addiction is a monumental first step to recovery. Powerlessness means the person do not have any control over his/her use of substance. Powerlessness may indicate weakness and helplessness; some may think it fosters a victim mentality. Acceptance starts developing when a person admit that he or she is powerless over the substance or object at the center of addiction and their life have become unmanageable because of that.

Addiction is a disease and recovery is not an easy process. Individuals who are already into the grip of addiction need to seek help. One cannot go through the journey of recovery alone. There is a myth that addiction is a habit and one can get out of it if he or she has the  Will Power . It s actually not true. To get out of the disease you need to develop  Skill Power , like skills to understand your physical and psychological mechanisms when it comes to the substance or the object of addictions, skills to handle cravings, skills to be assertive enough to manage social cues, skills to deal with day to day life stressors, etc. And in this process of developing skills and maintaining your recovery you need help of professionals.

A complete treatment program has three important approaches. First one is psychopharmacological (medicine) approach, second is psychotherapeutic approach and the third one is the 12 step program of alcohol/narcotics anonymous. A combination of psychotherapies along with the basic essence of 12 step program can bring greater outcomes in individual suffering from addiction.

Understanding Addiction And The Key Steps To Recover From It!

Anxiety is a very normal emotion, which gives rise to feelings of nervousness every now and then. An anxiety disorder is a serious medical condition in which people experience a high degree of distress and mental trauma, which causes difficulties in leading a normal life. People suffering from this medical condition experience high levels of anxiety and nervousness almost all the time. Here are the symptoms that indicate you're suffering from anxiety disorder.

1. Excessive worry - This condition persists if you worry about the day to day activities a bit too much on a regular basis. It is identified when you start taking too much stress about very petty things, which tends to affect you in an adverse manner. A noticeable sign of excessive worry can be too much fatigue.

2. Sleep problems - Problems falling asleep at the right time and problems in maintaining a sound sleep are two signs that indicate you have an anxiety disorder.

3. Irrational fears - This symptom is not generalized; instead, it is specific and subjective in relation to a particular thing or situation. The fears that are experienced under this category are sudden and unexpected in nature and there is no fixed rationale behind these fears.

4. Muscle tension - Muscle discomfort and pain is one of the leading physiological causes of an anxiety disorder. The pain felt is chronic and pervasive, and is very common among people facing situations of anxiety. If you are exposed to constant periods of anxiety, you will experience fatigue, muscle pains and unwillingness to work.

5. Chronic indigestion - Problems related to the digestive system are also a sign of anxiety disorder. In this case, you may face constant digestive problems accompanied by a common disorder called IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). IBS refers to an anxiety situation in the digestive tract, which is characterized by stomach aches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Apart from the above-mentioned symptoms, other symptoms of an anxiety disorder include stage fright, self- consciousness, panic attacks, memory flashbacks, perfectionism, compulsive behaviors, self- doubt, and such others.



How to know if you have an anxiety disorder?

There is a wide range of remedies that are available to treat depression in young adults. While there is no proven way of treating depression, broadly there are three approaches that is psychological, medical and natural. The key is to know the cause of depression. Once the cause is known, a qualified professional decides the course of treatment.

Psychological Treatment: Psychological treatments revolve around talking with the patient and change the way he thinks. It equips an individual to cope up with stress, depression and conflicts. The three most popular treatment approaches are CBT, IPT and MBCT.

1. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is an approach where the behavioral pattern of the patient is analyzed and a certain change in behavior is suggested to deal with depression. CBT is a problem-solving approach where a psychologist first analyzes the problem and helps a patient to see the problem from a more positive aspect. 

2. Interpersonal therapy (IPT) deals with problems related to personal relationships. It analyses the relationship pattern of a patient and specifically addresses them to drive away depression. 

3. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is a group activity and encourages a patient to express their feelings. The idea is to share as much as a patient can. It helps the mind to focus on the present rather than wondering it to something irrelevant that causes depression.

Medical treatment: Medical treatment deals with depression with the help of antidepressants. Medication depends on the level of depression. For more serious depression, such as psychosis and bipolar disorder, a doctor often prescribes psychotic drugs along with antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Medical treatment is suggested only when psychological treatment fails. A patient might have to get admitted in a good facility for a short time or full period of the treatment.

The natural treatment: It is related to lifestyle changes and helps a patient overcome depression. It can be followed along with other forms of treatment. Some good practices are as follows:

1. A good diet: A healthy diet often helps to fight depression. Serotonin rich food such as coconut oil, fish oil, eggs, cherries, Omega-3 acid greatly helps in fighting depression.

2. Stay away from Caffeine: Any caffeine related products such as coffee, cigarettes or liquor should be avoided during the depression.

3. Meditation: Meditation greatly helps in overcoming depression. It offers the much-needed piece of mind and helps to concentrate more.

4. Daily exercise: It has been observed that regular physical activities such as walking, running and free hand exercise can be of great help in overcoming depression. It uplifts mood and reduces stress.

5. Pumpkin seeds: Pumpkin seeds contain important elements such as magnesium, healthy fat, amino acid and L-tryptophan. Pumpkin seeds help to secrete serotonin and serotonin, in turn, help in fighting depression.

How to Treat Depression in Young Adults?

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