MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Smoking and its effect on tooth

Smoking is a phenomenon where the smoke emanated from a burning substance, usually tobacco, is inhaled. Smoking is a major cause for multiple diseases such as lung cancer, mouth cancer, blood pressure disorders etc.

Smoking tends to limit the capabilities of the immune system and this makes it easier for various diseases to affect the body. Smoking can lead to problems in the teeth where the gum tissues that attach the bone with the teeth are affected. This may cause the blood flow to the gums to be impaired and affect the functioning of the teeth.

The changes that the teeth undergo due to smoking are -

1. It may increase teeth sensitivity.
2. Smoking causes the teeth to be pulled away from the gums.
3. It can result in swollen and bleeding gums.
4. It may cause pain while chewing food.
5. Bone loss around the jawline occurs in smokers.
6. It can result in stained teeth and bad breath.

Disorders related to the teeth caused by smoking

There are various disorders of the teeth which are directly linked to smoking, they are -

-Mouth cancer - in this condition tumors are formed in the mouth
-It can cause plaque to accumulate in the teeth
-It may cause gum disease that can result in tooth loss
-It may interfere with healing period of any dental treatment
-It reduces the success rates of teeth implants
-Sweeteners present in the tobacco can also cause tooth decay

The effects of smoking on the tooth can be minimized by avoiding smoking altogether. Apart from that, following proper dental hygiene such regular brushing and flossing of the teeth will keep the teeth healthy. Avoiding smoking also reduces chances of lesion leukoplakia (white patches near teeth and gums).




Smoking and Its Effect on Teeth

 The most beautiful thing you can wear is your confidence  -Blake Lively

At a certain point in our lives, we are all swept off our feet by the storm of doubt, so much so that we refuse to rest our trust and faith in our very own selves. But that is where being silently confident comes in. Confident people are optimistic, even in the face of adversities and tend to confront their fears head-on, no matter what. Take a leaf out of their book; here are a few tips to lift your esteem to its pinnacle.

You need to keep off all the negativity: In life, you would be surrounded by people who would want to pull you down, taint your morale by unconstructive and unnecessary criticism. Maintain your dignity and distance from them who do not give you good vibes.
Enhance your Image: Remember. body language maketh a man. The things you do and the thoughts you think speak louder than words. So, never forget to carry that wry smile by the side of your lips, whenever you encounter something seemingly insurmountable. Your posture, your firm handshake, your way of looking straight into the eyes of a person while dealing with him/her, can all go a surprisingly long way in upping your confidence.Composure and calmness are the keys to greatness.
Never give-up: Failures are life lessons in your path of success and the true spirit lies not in never falling, but dragging yourself up each time you fall. Hence never accept defeat. Remember, every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.
Be prepared: Put your best foot forward every time you do something; be it that important office presentation of yours, or on the prom night of your university. This could take your confidence higher.
Remind yourself of every single good thing you ve done: Life is full of ups and downs and there may be days when you would feel unsure and weird about yourself. What you can do is make two lists and stick them on all spots easily visible to you, for instance, your wall, your refrigerator door or your bathroom mirror. On the first list, pen down all the amazing things life has blessed you with and of which you are truly grateful. On the second list, put forth all of your accomplishments that you are proud of; major or minor. Next time, whenever you find your self-esteem waning, these lists would remind you of what a worthy life you have had thus far, thus motivating you all over again.

Feeling Uncertain and Unsure! Boost Your Self-confidence With These Tips

Alternating between being happy and sad as you go through life's ups and downs is normal, but if you're sad most of the time, it could be a sign of being depressed.  Depression takes the joy out of all your activities, and can make merely getting through a day feel overwhelming. The first step to overcoming this problem is to understand its symptoms and causes.  Not everyone experiences depression the same way, but here are a few questions that can help tell you if you are depressed or not.

Do you feel helpless?
It is common for depressed people to feel helpless and that everything around them is out of their control. As a result, the person may either stop participating in activities all together or try to control things they can't. Both situations are cyclic and lead to further depression.

Have you lost interest in daily activities?
The feeling of helplessness is one of the main reasons depressed people lose interest in activities. Another reason is that activities that were once enjoyed now do not seem interesting enough. In most cases, this leads to the person isolating himself and withdrawing from all his family and friends.

Do you often feel angry or irritated?
Depression is almost always accompanied by irritability and anger. Small annoyances that would usually be overlooked quickly, take on an inappropriate significance. This can lead to poor impulse control, substance abuse and anxiety disorder. In most cases, anger and depression are related by the person trying to take accountability for things that are out of his control and hence feeling helpless.

Is there a change in your sleep pattern?
Your sleep quality is very closely related to the way you feel. Depressed people often suffer either from insomnia or oversleeping. Depressed people can have trouble going to sleep as well as staying asleep. This can cause drowsiness and lethargy during the day. Sleep apnea is also linked with depression. As you can imagine, if this is left untreated, it will only worsen your depression.

Do you feel tired?
When the body does not get adequate sleep, you begin the day feeling tired. Thus, depressed people often feel fatigued and complain of a number of muscle and joint pains.  This is because the body has not had enough time to regenerate cells during the night. This is usually complemented by complains of persistent headache and stomach aches, both of which are emotionally connected to the way you feel.

The nature of depression is such that it lowers a person's self-esteem to the point of interfering with his ability to seek help. Hence, if you have a positive response to the above questions, it is time to address your problem before it worsens.

How To Recognize Depression In Adults

Living with epilepsy can be highly challenging. This is a medical condition that can be controlled with medications in most cases, but it might not be useful for all patients due to severe side effects. It is estimated that up to 30% people who have epilepsy face this issue, and in such cases, surgery might be considered as an option.

This condition typically results in seizures which is a result of sudden electrical activity in the brain. So, certain complicated epilepsy operations on the brain can help patients with their seizures and contain their symptoms.

The goal of epilepsy surgeries involves removing part of the brain that causes these seizures and disrupting parts of the nervous system in the brain that contribute to the same. The procedure also involves the installation of a device that helps control the side effects of epilepsy.

When is surgery not an option for epilepsy?
Doctors would accurately identify the part of the brain that is causing seizures as the first step. These parts are known in medical terms as the  seizure  focus. This area should not be related critical functions of the brain like movement, sensation, and language involved   else surgery would not be possible.

Surgery is not viable when seizures are severe and impair bodily movement or if the patient has serious medical conditions (like cancer or heart diseases).

Common Surgery Options Available

Lesionectomy: This is one of the most commonly used procedures. This form of surgery involves the surgeon removing brain lesions from the brain or areas of injury due to malformed blood vessels or tumors. These injuries can often cause seizures and epilepsy and can be treated effectively with lesionectomy.
Lobe resection: This is another form of treatment which is possible only if the epilepsy is located in one of the four parts of the brain   the temporal lobe. It is quite common in younger people and can easily be treated by expert neurosurgeons by removing the brain tissues that are causing epilepsy.
Multiple Subpial Transections: While the above methods involve cutting out brain tissues, sometimes such surgeries just might not be possible due to other complications. If the parts of the brain cannot be cut out, surgeons tend to adopt Multiple Subpial Transections. This procedure can help control seizures without requiring cutting out parts of the brain. Small intersections are made in the brain to disrupt the impulses from affected brain cells that cause seizures, and they do not affect normal brain activity. It helps leave all abilities intact in patients and aids in treatment very effectively.
So, if you are just fed up with dealing with the seizures, consult your doctor who will be able to advise on the course of action depending on the history and medical condition.

Epilepsy - Is Surgery An Option?

A cup of coffee or tea is not just enough to keep you alert throughout the day. They might be good for an early morning kick off. But you need a lot more in your diet to increase your concentration power.

Here s a list of food items that work wonders in gifting you a focused mind:

Coconut Oil: When it comes to your brain, coconut oil full of benefits, too. Coconut oil works as a natural anti-inflammatory, suppressing cells responsible for inflammation. It can help with memory loss as you age and destroy bad bacteria that hangs out in your gut.
Dark Chocolate: It has been found that dark chocolate boosts the production of serotonin and endorphin. These are essential for increasing concentration. Dark chocolates are also useful antioxidants and are rich in vitamins, and minerals, including potassium and copper. It is believed by many that regular intake of cocoa improves the blood supply to the brain and thus increases concentration power.
Blueberries: Are you fond of the tasty blueberries? There s good news for you then. Blueberries are not just good for taste, they are memory boosters. According to a study published in 2010 in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, it has been found that people, who drank blueberry juice daily for two months, ended up having improved memory and concentration power.
Egg Yolks: Yolks contain large amounts of choline, which helps in fetal brain development for pregnant women. It also breaks down bethane, a chemical that produces hormones related to happiness. That s right, eggs can make you happy! If you ve kept away from eating eggs whole because of cholesterol concerns, there s good news. Studies show that eating eggs had no effect on the cholesterol levels of healthy adults and might, in fact, help raise good cholesterol levels. 
Walnuts: It turns out that eating walnuts can keep you from going nuts. Just munching on a few walnuts a day can improve your cognitive health. Their high levels of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals also improve mental alertness. The vitamin E in the nuts can also help ward off Alzheimer s. 
Salmon: Believe it or not, but salmon improves your memory and concentration to a great extent. It contains omega-3 fatty acids, which is needed for rebuilding brain cells. Omega-3 is also good for enhancing the synapses in the brain. 

Want Better Concentration - 6 Foods You Must Have!

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