Loss and grief are two unfortunate partners where the latter follows the former. While the type of grief or the nature of the loss may differ from person to person, there are five distinct stages of loss and grieloss and grief are two unfortunate partners where the latter follows the former. While the type of grief or the nature of the loss may differ from person to person, there are five distinct stages of loss and grief that all people universally go through, when faced with such a situation. Here are the five stages of this process and the different ways in which one can cope with each stage.

Denial and isolation:

In this phase, the patient usually ends up blocking out the words as well as the thoughts and reactions that surround this sad event, which can lead to a numbing action of the brain. While we all do this in some measure during such situations, some people take it especially hard by acting as if nothing has happened at all. If this phase does not come to pass within a short frame of time, then psychological and medical intervention may be required.

Anger:

When a person begins to acknowledge the loss, there is a sense of unfairness which can lead to frustration and anger that is basically the way the person may be dealing with the re-emergence of the pain and the fact that it is here to stay. Therapy and sedation may be required if this frustration and repeated spells of tantrums carries on for a prolonged period. Do not hesitate to talk things out rather than flaring up at this point, as the unchangeable has already happened.

Bargaining:

In this phase, desperation enters the mind of the patient where a lot of'what ifs' come up. The patient begins to question what if things had been done differently and other such aspects. If not dealt with in an engaging manner and with empathy, this phase can lead back to anger and frustration.

Depression:

Private mourning of the loss and regret to do with the practical aspects like loneliness and the cost of the loss can strike at this stage. Here, the patient must be made aware of rights as well as the people around him or her who can help out to prevent this depression from becoming a full-fledged condition.

Acceptance:

In this final stage, the patient becomes more accepting of this new reality. Yet, even this must be taken up cautiously as a grief stricken heart may lead to a variety of mental ailments in the long run.

The way to deal with these stages is with therapy and proper guidance where the patient is allowed to channel all the thoughts and anger before accepting the situation. Do not hesitate to ask for counselling and embrace the changes in your life without regret, guilt and depression. F that all people universally go through, when faced with such a situation. Here are the five stages of this process and the different ways in which one can cope with each stage.

Denial and isolation: 

In this phase, the patient usually ends up blocking out the words as well as the thoughts and reactions that surround this sad event, which can lead to a numbing action of the brain. While we all do this in some measure during such situations, some people take it especially hard by acting as if nothing has happened at all. If this phase does not come to pass within a short frame of time, then psychological and medical intervention may be required.

Anger:

When a person begins to acknowledge the loss, there is a sense of unfairness which can lead to frustration and anger that is basically the way the person may be dealing with the re-emergence of the pain and the fact that it is here to stay. Therapy and sedation may be required if this frustration and repeated spells of tantrums carries on for a prolonged period. Do not hesitate to talk things out rather than flaring up at this point, as the unchangeable has already happened.

Bargaining:

In this phase, desperation enters the mind of the patient where a lot of'what ifs' come up. The patient begins to question what if things had been done differently and other such aspects. If not dealt with in an engaging manner and with empathy, this phase can lead back to anger and frustration.

Depression: 

Private mourning of the loss and regret to do with the practical aspects like loneliness and the cost of the loss can strike at this stage. Here, the patient must be made aware of rights as well as the people around him or her who can help out to prevent this depression from becoming a full-fledged condition.

Acceptance:

In this final stage, the patient becomes more accepting of this new reality. Yet, even this must be taken up cautiously as a grief stricken heart may lead to a variety of mental ailments in the long run.

The way to deal with these stages is with therapy and proper guidance where the patient is allowed to channel all the thoughts and anger before accepting the situation. Do not hesitate to ask for counselling and embrace the changes in your life without regret, guilt and depression.

Coping with Grief and Loss: The Five Stages

Shannon L. Alder once said,  Sensitive people usually love deeply & hate deeply. They don't know any other way to live than by extremes because their emotional thermostat is broken. 

Sometimes certain thoughts & habits become so addictive at times that even while being aware of its futility the person fails to resist from indulging in it. Obsessive Compulsive Disorders can be extremely debilitating & can easily thwart subjective well-being. The main features of this illness are obsessions and compulsions.

Obsessions are certain thoughts, doubts, images or urges that occur in one's mind. These are unwanted, repetitive by nature. Most people with OCD realize that obsessions are senseless, irrational, or excessive, but they are unable to ignore or suppress them. They would attempt to resist and control them, but would not succeed. Obsessions cause significant distress and anxiety to the sufferers and as a result cause interference in their day to day functioning.

Compulsions are repetitive acts that the person is driven to carry out in spite of knowing that they are meaningless, unnecessary or excessive. Compulsions are usually in response to obsessions. For example, a person with an obsessive fear of contamination washes hands repeatedly in order to ensure that his or her hands are clean. The person attempts to resist repeated hand-washing, but gives in to the urge so as to relieve him or herself of the anxiety or discomfort. Persons with OCD often perform certain acts repeatedly to avoid some dreaded event or to prevent or undo some harm to themselves or others. For instance, touching the floor even number of times to prevent an accident.

They are aware most of the time that the activity is not connected in a logical or realistic way with what was intended to be achieved, or that it may be clearly excessive (as in the case of hand-washing compulsions), but cannot control them as they reduce anxiety, at least transiently.

Common Symptoms in OCD:

Some common obsessions-

- Fear of getting dirty, contaminated or infected by persons or things in the environment.

- Blasphemous thoughts.

- Thoughts of harming or killing others or oneself.

- Doubts that a task or assignment has been done poorly or incorrectly.

- Recurring thoughts or images of sexual nature.

- Fear of blurting out obscenities.

- Fear of developing a serious life-threatening illness.

- Preoccupation to have objects arranged in a certain order or position.

Some common compulsions:

- Repeated hand-washing, taking unusually long time to bathe, or cleaning items in the house.

- Ordering or rearranging things in a certain manner.

- Checking locks, electrical outlets, gas knobs, light switches etc. repeatedly.

- Repeatedly putting clothes on, and then taking them off.

- Counting over and over to a certain number.

- Touching certain objects in a specific way.

- Repeating certain actions, such as going through a doorway.

- Constantly seeking approval (especially children)

What are not obsessions?

The common usage of the word obsession as in,  he is obsessed with music  is not an obsession as used in the context of OCD. Here the person indulges in the activity with complete will, has control over them and derives pleasure out of the activity.

When one is fired from a job or loses someone close to them, it is natural to brood over the event. However, these thoughts are not considered as senseless or irrational, though they may cause some discomfort. Similarly, a person appearing for an examination may feel anxious and worry about the results, which could occupy considerable amount of his time. These thoughts, though unwelcome, are under his control and not experienced as senseless. The above experiences are obviously not obsessions. The common usage of the word obsession as in,  he is obsessed with music  is not obsession as used in the context of OCD. Here the person indulges in the activity with complete will, has control over them and derives pleasure out of the activity.

Treatment:

Your clinical psychologist might subject you to anyone from a variety of treatment strategy available based on the severity of the condition and course of illness. Client specific psychological treatment is recommended according to unique triggers and patterns of obsessions/compulsions.

Cognitive Behavioral therapy comprises of a variety of techniques used to modify or replace maladaptive thoughts, emotions and behaviors with more adaptive forms of the same. Obsessions and compulsions seen in OCD are examples of maladaptive behaviors as they cause significant distress and interfere with normal functioning of an individual. Behavior therapy helps to remove obsessions and compulsions and thereby ameliorate the distress.

In treating OCD several CBT techniques are used. One of them,  Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) , is the most effective and widely used technique.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - All You Should Know!

 I have a severe stomach ache, I feel like vomiting ... Mom, please!! I can't go for exam.
 I read it! I knew it all ... But I just blacked out.  
 I just couldn't write! My hands were trembling.  
 I messed up this question! I can do nothing right... I can never succeed in life!!  

It's not uncommon for students to experience such problems before/ during an exam.

Most of us suffer from some degree of anxiety when we prepare or sit for an examination. Examination usually leads to a lot of tension and anxiety commonly known as examination phobia. Examination phobia or Examophobia is a mental disorder found in most of the students. When exams arrive, students become extremely worried and make plans about how to study, how to perform better and get good grades. Some students find exams so difficult that the phobia makes them sick as they simply find themselves unable to cope up with the exam fear. There may be sweating, palpitations that disturb so much that one cannot think straight and end up messing up the paper. Also, in subsequent exams, it becomes worse and the fear intensifies. The person may end up feeling a failure, feeling guilty and may even be suicidal! 

Anxiety is a normal human feeling that is part of life and can often serve as a good form of adrenaline. However, in few people, this adrenaline rush exceeds normal limits and at times may lead to some negative consequences.

Exam anxiety is:

1. Excessive worry about upcoming exams 
2. Fear of being evaluated 
3. Apprehension about the consequence 
4. Experienced by many normal students

POSSIBLE CAUSES 
(I) Environmental Causes

1. High expectations of parents 
2. Parents imposing their ambitions on children 
3. Parents competing for higher social status through child's scores 
4. Constant comparison with other kids 
5. Fear of teachers 
6. Insulting remarks from teachers

(II) Poor studying styles: 
1. Inefficient:

1. Irregular coverage of the entire syllabus 
2. Trying to memorize the course book 
3. Binge learning 
4. Studying all-night right before exams

2. Ineffective:

1. Reading without understanding the topic 
2. Unable to recollect the material 
3. Not making revision notes 
4. Not revising

(III) Psychological factors:

1. Feeling little or no control over the exam situation (rather than knowing and applying exam strategies) 
2. Negative thinking and self-criticism 
3. Irrational thinking about exams and outcomes 
4. Irrational beliefs  If I don't pass, my (family/boyfriend/girlfriend/friends) will lose respect for me  
5. Irrational demands  I have to get at least 98% or I am worthless.  
6. Catastrophic predictions  I'll fail no matter what I do there s no point.  
7. Low Self-esteem 
8. Fear of failure

SYMPTOMS OF EXAM ANXIETY 
The symptoms can range from minor nervousness to a panic attack, which can ruin the test. But whatever the level of your anxiety, learning to keep yourself calm and managing the fear of sitting for an examination is what it takes to come out with flying colors.

1. Physical symptoms. Headache, nausea, diarrhea, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, lightheadedness and feeling faint can all occur. Test anxiety can lead to a panic attack, which is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort in which individuals may feel like they are unable to breathe or having a heart attack. 
2. Emotional symptoms. Feelings of anger, fear, helplessness and disappointment are common emotional responses to test anxiety. 
3. Behavioral/Cognitive symptoms. Difficulty concentrating, thinking negatively and comparing yourself to others are common symptoms of test anxiety.

HOW TO PREPARE WELL FOR AN EXAMINATION 
Fortunately, there are several methods that you can adopt to reduce your examination stress, which will not only help you to get higher grades but also improve your overall mental health.

1. Regular Studies Develop good study habits- ATTEND classes regularly, finish all the assignments on time, make notes properly and be an actively engaging student in school. Leave plenty of time to revise so that you don't have to do last minute cramming. Giving yourself adequate time will help to boost your confidence and reduce any pre-exam stress as you know you have prepared well. Instead of waiting for the eleventh hour, start studying as and when the academic year commences. With a good amount of time before hand, you will certainly feel more relaxed as you have plenty of time to give-in your best. 
2. Exercise Matters - It is of paramount importance to maintain mental, psychological and physical health to ace any exam. Exercising regularly, deep breathing and  pranayama  help in improving one s cognitive faculties, that results in lesser anxiety and simultaneously better grades in the tests. 
3. Don t Undermine the Importance of Diet - Be careful about your diet during the exams. A diet lacking in essential nutrients can put a major dent in your preparations; make you feel nauseated, SLEEPY OR overstressed during the crucial hours. 
4. SLEEP WELL - Adequate sleep is also vital. SLEEPING TOO LESS OR TOO MUCH CAN ALSO HAMPER YOUR ABILITIES 
5. Support - Take short breaks in between and spend some quality time with your family; share your feelings and state of mind with them. Spending time with the family can turn out to be a major stress buster. 
6. Set a Study Time: Lastly, drawing up a schedule will help you make the most of your study time. Set aside a time for your studies and follow it meticulously. Keep it flexible so that you can make the necessary adjustments. 
7. Stay focused: Concentrate on your studies, not others during the examination time. Avoid talking with other students about the subject before an examination. 
8. Use Mnemonics: Mnemonics are the techniques of memorization. You can make chart, rhymes or phrase to memorize your lessons. 
9. Practice Deep Breathing Regularly - Meditation is one of the best medicine that can reduce your anxiety. Make a habit to Meditate at least 10 minutes per day. It surely increases your concentration power. 
10. Consult Psychologist: If your anxiety becomes uncontrollable, don t hesitate to consult a psychologist or therapist. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is pretty effective in treating anxiety disorders. It helps to change your thought process and negative beliefs. Performance or test anxiety is highly treatable so you can get absolutely get a better result.

HOW TO ATTEMPT THE EXAMINATION IN BEST POSSIBLE WAY 
(I) ON THE DAY OF EXAM

1. Get a restful, uninterrupted sleep the night before so you wake up refreshed and revitalized the day of the exam. 
2. Have a healthy breakfast but strictly avoid oily and heavy food 
3. Recheck your required stuff (pen, pencil, compass box, eraser, admit card, watch etc) before leaving home. 
4. Take the water bottle along with you to the examination hall. 
5. Avoid touching new/left-out topic at the last moment. 
6. Aim to reach the examination hall well in time. 
7. Avoid being part of Before-exam peer discussions on How well-prepared or unprepared others are! The classic  Tera kitna ho gaya  question followed by undue comparisons can be a complete confidence killer. So Beware !! 
8. If feeling tensed, take deep-long breaths and engage in positive self-talk; reminding yourself that you prepared best to your ability and tell oneself   I CAN DO IT  

(II) IN THE EXAMINATION HALL

First of all, fill the required information on the answer sheet. 
Read the instructions carefully to figure out if you have a choice of questions, no. of questions to be attempted etc. 
Read the question paper thoroughly before u begin writing and mark the questions under 3 categories: (a) Easy (b) Manageable (c) Difficult 
Manage your time: This is where you strictly need to stick to the plan:
Before you begin, allocate time for each question based on the marks it carries and difficulty level. 
If you are not able to complete an answer within planned time-frame, leave some space and move onto the next question. 
Always divide time in such a way that you are left with some time at the end to go back over incomplete answers and revise/recheck. 
Always try to attempt all the questions. 
Attempt the Easy questions first, followed by Manageable and Difficult questions at last. That way you stay secure, calm and confident. 
Avoid writing too lengthy answer just because you know it well.
5. Presentation:

a. Handwriting should be neat & readable. 
b. Instead of very long paragraphs, put your answer point-wise. 
c. Wherever possible, illustrate the information via Flowcharts/diagrams etc. 
d. Highlight: underline or highlight the main points using pencil / coloured markers but you should keep it for last spare moments.

(III) TIPS FOR PARENTS: 
Encourage your kids! Parents have the ability to address underlying fears that may be present with test-taking. At a deep level, even subconsciously, a student may fear failure for a variety of reasons. There could be a fear of looking dumb to friends, of not getting into the best school, or of not meeting parent s expectations. A great help is for parents to reinforce their unconditional support and encouragement to the child. Parents, let your children know that their grade does not determine their worth. Believe in your child. 

Help them get over the myth that  Success in exam is a predictor of success in life . 

Good marks = Great job. 
Poor marks = End of life!!

In short,  There are no secrets to success. It is the result of Time Management, Hard work and Learning from mistakes 

Say Goodbye To Exam Phobia!

If you are young chances are you aren t worried about this particular neurodegenerative disease, and rightly so since the only people afflicted by it are above the age of 50. Although, there are a lot of cases where it develops in the younger age bracket, so you need to be careful and examine the signs of early onset Parkinson s and be wary if any of these symptoms apply to you.

Parkinson s is a neurological disorder wherein the dopamine-producing neurons are affected in a particular area of the brain. It can cause tremors and balance problems, eventually worsening over time. Here are some signs that you should keep an eye out for:

Tremors: If you are experiencing tremors, while at rest, in your hands, arms, fingers or your jaw then it is a sign that you need to be aware about. In an excitable or stressful situation, the tremors may even worsen.
Micrographia: Your hand movements become restricted and, as a result, your handwriting may become cramped and the words smaller in size. Examine your handwriting from the past with your present one, if you find a noticeable difference in the size and positioning of the letters and if you feel like the sentences are extremely crowded together, be wary.
Olfactory issues: One of the symptoms of early onset could be the loss of the sense of smell. If you feel like you can t sense stronger aromas like that of spices and pickle or even bananas as well as others and it isn t because your nose is blocked then you need to be on the lookout.
Sleeping troubles: There are times when you feel restless in bed while trying to sleep. If this becomes a routine then it could be a sign that you are prone to Parkinson s. Sudden movements and jerking while sleeping is a bad sign.
Stiffness: If your arms and joints feel stiff without reason, and you feel like free body movement is restricted or limited if you feel like you can t swing your arms or move your fingers freely, it is a definite sign that you might have Parkinson s. Stiffness can even lead to muscle pain in various parts of the body. Bradykinesia or slowness of movement is common with the stiffness of the body.
Constipation: If every time you have to defecate you have to strain yourself and put a lot of pressure on your bowels, and bowel movement does not come naturally or easily, even with the inclusion of roughage in your diet, it is a symptom.

6 Signs Of Early On-Set Parkinson's That You Need To Look Out For

Pain management is an issue that stares back at mankind, irrespective of the underlying health condition. Whether it is a headache or a back pain, burn or fracture, heart attack or cancer, pain is always a symptom. In some cases like migraines, cancer, etc., the pain is chronic and the patient needs to be constantly on the vigil to know when an attack will ensue. This has also put high pressure on the medical fraternity to identify ways that can provide relief to these people. Various methods have been identified, and one of them is the electrotherapy.

What is done?
A few electrical impulses are directed at the area of the pain using a hand-held device. This is similar to providing electric shocks of mild intensity to the affected area (forehead, low back, neck, etc.). What this does is stimulate the nerve endings, improves circulation and muscle strength and promotes bone growth and tissue repair. The end result of all this is overall improved functioning and pain relief. Depending on the actual condition, the sessions will have to be repeated. In some patients, the electrotherapy is used in conjunction with other therapy so that they can go about their routine exercise and pain relief.
The sessions may also have to be repeated as most often these are used in individuals with chronic pain. They are also helpful in providing relief during the acute attacks.

How does it work?
The most common form of electrotherapy is known as TENS, which stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation. The area to be treated is cleansed with spirit and then small sticky pads are applied through which the electricity is passed. A hand-held device is used, through which electrical impulses are passed to the skin, which stimulates the nerve cells to provide relief from pain. It causes a vibrating and tingling sensation in the treated area. It is believed that it blocks the nerve impulses and therefore provides pain relief. Another theory states that they promote the release of endorphins which are natural painkillers; it is also very effective in case of migraine and sciatica and neck pain where the chronic pain is coupled with acute spurts.

With narcotic painkillers having various side effects, techniques like electrotherapy are gaining popularity. A small catch also is that it does not work for everybody and in most people with back pain, fibromyalgia, and migraines, requires repeat sessions for relief. The cost of each session also needs to be considered against the extent of relief achieved. However, for those whom it works, it is a very good technique for chronic pain control.

Electrotherapy - How It Can Help In Managing Pain?

Getting through an ugly divorce is quite a difficult thing, no matter what the reason might be. Your world can turn upside down after a divorce and you have to make a fresh new start in life.

Here are some tips you should follow to get through an ugly divorce:

Accept the fact that it is okay to have different feelings: All feelings like sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration and confusion are quite intense after a divorce. You should accept these reactions and they will surely decrease with time.
You need to give yourself a break: Accept the fact that you are weak and time is required to be back to normal functioning. Your work performance can be affected as well. Taking a break is a must after a divorce.
Do not try to go through the situation alone: You should share your feelings with your friends and family, and you will surely get help. Joining support groups can also be fruitful. Isolation makes your condition worse; so you must go out, interact and share stuff.
You should take proper emotional and physical care of your body: Eat timely, work out and relax. Try to maintain your normal daily routine and do not make major life decisions during this point of life. Abstain from too much alcohol and cigarettes as they are not a solution.
Avoid ugly situations: Avoid talking to your former spouse as discussions may lead to ugly situations and fights, which would enhance your misery.
Take a hobby: Try to do things you love to do from your heart. Join classes, take music lessons, paint pictures and slowly try to enjoy life. Making new friends is also a good idea.
Think positive: Positive thinking is a must and if you engross yourself in positive, constructive activities, you are likely to feel good. You need to be flexible and in case you have children, do your best to provide them an ideal atmosphere for adjusting to the situation.
Time can heal everything: Keep one thing in mind that life will eventually return to normal. Time heals everything and one day you will not be affected anymore.
Talk to your children and help them cope: You need to provide proper care to your kids for coping with the situation. Talk to your children and make them understand that they are not responsible for the divorce by any means. Try to ease their concerns, be compassionate, but maintain a direct approach. Maintain your child's routine exactly how it used to be, so that they feel less amount of sudden change. Do not involve your children in the conflict in any way.
A divorce is extremely difficult to cope with, as one has never faced or felt such a situation before. With proper support and measures, you can get over a divorce much more easily.

9 Ways to Help You Get Through an Ugly Divorce?

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