Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

We all have those days when we seem to have hit an all time low. We feel bad, sad, mad, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. However, this is a temporary, passing phase for most of us. But for people with depression, this is not the case.

Chronic depression, which is more common in women than men, can arise due to different reasons. Major life changes, marital issues, relationship issues, financial problems, chronic medical problems, death of loved ones, life stressors, weather changes, etc. can lead to depression.

This leads to prolonged periods of sadness, feeling of emptiness, loss of interest in activities which were normally pleasurable, irritability, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, weight gain, worthless and hopeless feeling, and feeling of doom. This can result in dejection, social withdrawal, poor performance at work/school, and an overall declining quality of life.

In most cases, there is usually a past, unpleasant experience which leads to depression. This could be different for different people, depending on their tolerance. While some may go into depression over minor relationship issues, for others, it could be as severe as sexual abuse in the past.

Ayurveda recognizes  sadhaka agni  as a fire that helps a person to digest trauma. People with a strong sadhaka agni have a higher tolerance and take more time to get depressed compared to people who have a weak fire in them.

The following are some simple changes that can be very useful in overcoming depression.

Meditate for about 20 minutes every day.
Realize and practice detachment. Most people with depression have a loss of something they were closely attached to. Realizing that nothing in life is permanent and letting it go will play a major role in feeling better.
Get a sound, restful sleep. Stick to a routine by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.
Walk out in the sun and get a good dose of sunlight. Add exercise to sun exposure to feel elated and upbeat about life in general.
Exercises such as yoga, walking, and cycling also are useful in improving overall balance and health. A healthy and fitter body definitely leaves one in a better mood.
Eat healthy food. Avoid packaged, canned, and processed food. Include a lot of nuts and seeds in your diet, be it roasted or soaked.
Try mood uplifting food items like black pepper, dry ginger, turmeric, amla, cloves, and cardamom.
Herbs like ashwagandha, shatavari, brahmi are highly useful in curing depression. They also treat fluid balance, govern energy and creativity in the body, improve metabolism, and clear toxins.
Ayurveda believes in not just making one feel better, but improving his/her overall well-being by getting to the root of the issue.

Depression - 8 Steps To Help You Get Rid Of It!

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Effects of Smoking on Sexual Health

Smoking, in general, has a negative effect on the human body. It can cause a host of disorders such as mouth cancer, blood pressure problems, and lung cancer. Smoking affects the sexual performance of both men and women.

Here are some effects that smoking has on sex

1. Impotence: Smoking can damage the blood vessels that lead to erectile dysfunction (a condition where the penis cannot sustain an erection).

2. Decrease in libido: Smoking can cause various physical problems such as stamina reduction and lack of desire for sex. An individual who smokes won't be able to give an optimal sexual performance and this can further lower satisfaction levels.

3. Erectile dysfunction: Smoking can cause problems related to the circulation of the blood in the body. It can narrow the arteries that supply blood and this is directly linked with erectile dysfunction.

4. Tissue damage: Smoking can damage the tissues inside the penis thus impairing your ability to have an erection during sexual intercourse.

5. Early onset of menopause: It can affect the estrogen (a sex hormone) levels in the female body; so, women who smoke tend to reach menopause early.

6. Reduction in penis size: It can reduce the penis size in men by damaging the blood vessels and the structure of the tissue around the penis. This is more common in younger men.

7. Reduction in stamina: Smoking can cause a reduction in the stamina, thus a person will not be able to perform well sexually. It can lead to fatigue and tiredness during sex.

Of course, there are a lot of therapies which can help you recover from the damage already happened because of smoking and prevent further damage.

Does Smoking Affect Your Performance in Bed?

There are many people, especially teenagers, who are affected by eating disorders. Eating is important in life, but your life is not all about eating alone. Eating disorders can affect your health and your relationships also. This is a mental illness, in fact, a serious mental illness, but it can definitely be treated. People of any age or sex can be affected by this health issue. It is important to identify it at an early stage and treat it.
Well, there is no clear answer to what the actual cause of eating disorders is. Some recent studies say that it is a range of psychological and biological factors that result in an eating disorder.

Let s have a look at five interesting facts about eating disorder
FACT #1 Affected people look healthy:
People with eating disorders may look healthy and fit, but when you observe them closely, you will understand that they are extremely sick and need help. Anxiety, loneliness, depression and anger are some mental conditions which you may not be able to see unless you observe them closely.

FACT #2 Eating disorders are of three types:
Eating disorders are classified basically into three types. The first one is called Anorexia Nervosa, which is the fear of becoming fat. The second one is Bulimia Nervosa. This refers to the habit of binge eating followed by self-induced vomit. The last one is the Binge Eating disorder where people eat uncontrollably in just one sitting.

FACT #3 It is a not women disorder:
Eating disorders are seen mostly in women, but this is not a problem faced by just women. Both men and women may be affected by eating disorders. It is common for men and women to feel some kind of pressure when they see unwanted changes in their body shape and size. That can cause eating disorders.

FACT #4 It disturbs the normal life:
The impact of eating disorders can be seen in all aspects of your life like problems in your relationship, problems with your family and friends, your colleagues, your education, your workplace and such similar aspects. Your thoughts and emotions regarding your food and weight issues are going to be constant in case you suffer from eating disorders.

FACT #5 It can be life threatening:
Eating disorders can lead to suicide. Every year, there are a lot of deaths reported due to eating disorders. Out of so many different kinds of eating disorders, Anorexia Nervosa is the most life threatening. The death rate due to this kind of eating disorder is 12 times higher than the other kinds. People between the age group 15 to 24 attempt suicide.

Eating disorders can be treated and you need to talk to a specialist if you really want to get out of it. Your one step can save your life.

Eating Disorder - 5 Facts About It!

Living with epilepsy can be highly challenging. This is a medical condition that can be controlled with medications in most cases, but it might not be useful for all patients due to severe side effects. It is estimated that up to 30% people who have epilepsy face this issue, and in such cases, surgery might be considered as an option.

This condition typically results in seizures which is a result of sudden electrical activity in the brain. So, certain complicated epilepsy operations on the brain can help patients with their seizures and contain their symptoms.

The goal of epilepsy surgeries involves removing part of the brain that causes these seizures and disrupting parts of the nervous system in the brain that contribute to the same. The procedure also involves the installation of a device that helps control the side effects of epilepsy.

When is surgery not an option for epilepsy?
Doctors would accurately identify the part of the brain that is causing seizures as the first step. These parts are known in medical terms as the  seizure  focus. This area should not be related critical functions of the brain like movement, sensation, and language involved   else surgery would not be possible.

Surgery is not viable when seizures are severe and impair bodily movement or if the patient has serious medical conditions (like cancer or heart diseases).

Common Surgery Options Available

Lesionectomy: This is one of the most commonly used procedures. This form of surgery involves the surgeon removing brain lesions from the brain or areas of injury due to malformed blood vessels or tumors. These injuries can often cause seizures and epilepsy and can be treated effectively with lesionectomy.
Lobe resection: This is another form of treatment which is possible only if the epilepsy is located in one of the four parts of the brain   the temporal lobe. It is quite common in younger people and can easily be treated by expert neurosurgeons by removing the brain tissues that are causing epilepsy.
Multiple Subpial Transections: While the above methods involve cutting out brain tissues, sometimes such surgeries just might not be possible due to other complications. If the parts of the brain cannot be cut out, surgeons tend to adopt Multiple Subpial Transections. This procedure can help control seizures without requiring cutting out parts of the brain. Small intersections are made in the brain to disrupt the impulses from affected brain cells that cause seizures, and they do not affect normal brain activity. It helps leave all abilities intact in patients and aids in treatment very effectively.
So, if you are just fed up with dealing with the seizures, consult your doctor who will be able to advise on the course of action depending on the history and medical condition.

Epilepsy - Is Surgery An Option?

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