Contraception is not only restricted to married couples in today's world. Most of the young couples refrain from seeking medical advice for contraception may be because of social concerns or simply because they feel hesitant and shy.

There are many contraceptive pills available over the counter which youngsters are tempted to buy and use as it seems to be the easy way out. Frequent and improper use of such emergency pills can lead to a lot of hormonal disturbances and the menstrual cycle goes topsy turvy. Then the dilemma starts. As it becomes difficult to interpret the cycle dates and erratic bleeding which happens is disturbing.

In my practice I have seen many young girls popping in pills randomly every now and then. Sometimes at weekly intervals as they are unable to manage the stress of their relationship getting disturbed. What youngsters should try and understand is there is nothing wrong in having pills for contraception but it should be done with proper guidance and the selection of the right pill for that particular individual is important which can be done easily by getting into consultation with a doctor. Need not necessarily be a gynecologist always.

Emergency pills are ok for once in a blue moon kind of use. But it should not become a habit.


Misuse Of Emergency Contraceptive Pills

Oral sex is a form of sexual activity, which involves the arousal of one's genitalia by his/her partner using the mouth (tongue, lips and throat). It is also called Cunnilingus (performed on a female) and fellatio (performed on a male). It is done before intercourse and during foreplay for sexual arousal. It is safe as compared to vaginal or anal sex, the rate of getting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV is comparatively lower. 

Oral sex can spice up your life and can also make your partner reach orgasm. It is also a safe way of getting sexual pleasure without getting pregnant. But necessary precautions must be taken in order to have safe oral sex.

Some of these necessary precautions are:

1. You can get throat cancer from oral sex: Human papillomavirus (HPV) is a cancerous virus found in the body of infected people. This virus can be transmitted to the person with whom you are engaging in oral sex. Studies show that people who engage with more than 6 sexual partners at once are more prone to get oral cancer. It is advisable to get your partner tested for HPV virus before engaging in oral sex.

2. Oral sex also causes stress: Oral sex is generally related to hygiene, therefore the partner can be self conscious and worried about his/her genital hygiene. If oral sex is performed on a daily basis, some people prefer to wax their pubic hair often. This is harmful because it can cause red bumps and burning sensation occurs. It is advisable to trim your pubic hair and wash it properly before engaging in oral sex.

3. A condom should be worn by the male during oral sex so that there is no risk of male fluid entering the woman's body.

4. A latex, which is made into a thin sheet called dental dam can be used on the vagina or anus. This creates a thin barrier between the mouth and the genitalia. Hence, chances of getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases are greatly reduced.

Oral sex can be pleasurable and fun, but the risks of getting sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, gonorrhea and crabs is not altogether misplaced. So it is advisable to use proper protection and to maintain hygiene before engaging in oral sex.

4 Ways to Have Safe Oral Sex - Necessary Precautions

Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

Resuming sex post pregnancy can take some time as the woman has to go through the initial phase of vaginal soreness and perpetual exhaustion before she can think of having sex. Whether a woman gives birth vaginally or through cesarian section, her body will require time to heal itself; and it is advisable to have intercourse six weeks after childbirth. 

Here are some of the common sex problems post-pregnancy.

1) An eager partner - Your partner might be ready for sexual intercourse but you are not. Even if it is six weeks after giving birth, when the wound inside has mostly healed and perhaps you're not sore anymore, you still may not want to have sex. This is because the hormones in your body are drastically changing, and the uterus is gradually shrinking and your episiotomy wound is progressively healing. In such situations, one should take it slow. Cuddling, kissing and spooning are some of the ways closeness can be fostered.

2) Delicate and tender breasts - Breasts may become sore, heavy and leaky due to nursing your baby. And it is natural that after breastfeeding the whole day, one may want them to be left alone at night. Wearing a nursing top or a tank top during sex is advised. Nursing your baby right before sex can also help as your breasts won't be as full and achy.

3) Sex won't feel the same - It is natural that after delivering a baby, sex won't feel exactly the same. This is because the vaginal muscles would be temporarily stretched out. And there is a chance of temporary soreness and inflammation within the vagina. Kegel exercises may help to get back on track.

So, in case you're a woman and felt strange about not being up for sex post your pregnancy, there's absolutely nothing to be stressed about. And men, if you are reading this tip, your woman needs you to understand her even more after her becoming a mother; so, treat her with utmost care.



3 Things You Need to Know about Post-Pregnancy Sex

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Physical intimacy between couples can be something that can never be judged based on their relation. Many factors can hamper the satisfaction of the people involved, and you would have said that at least one point of time in your life that the zest has fiddled out. Do not fret as you are not alone. You are voicing something which billions of couples would have expressed at some point in time in their life. In a long-term relationship, the partners can almost complain about the same things which they believe is needed to make their physical intimacy to work out even more.

There are enough diseases and infections related to sex that can physically veer a couple from having a healthy intimacy. Add to that; there are many psychological parts too that can hamper a robust and active sexual life. Thanks to the times we live in almost all the sexual diseases and infections can be treated and kept at bay. However, the psychological imbalances have to be adequately addressed and channeled using the right medium. It can be very beneficial to consult a sex therapist for the underlying problems and more often it can be better if the sessions are had as a couple. Let us look at a few of the symptoms that can lead to issues in bed:

Laziness: The intimacy cannot have the desired result if you find that if you or partner is lagging in the enthusiasm. Boredom can easily set in, and this can easily have an effect on how physical you are. Talk this out with a therapist and try to look for ways in which the laziness and the routine can be reduced.
Body Image: It is true that a body image can be one of the factors for a good sex life, but as we age we tend to get loose and do not make an effort to keep our body fit. This, in turn, can affect the intimacy has the partners can lose interest in each other as a couple. Have a healthy lifestyle and stay away from foods that can hamper your wellbeing. Exercise regularly and keep surprising each other.
Exhaustion and Stress: Needless to say this one factor and the modern times have been the main culprit for making you have issues in bed. Our work nature has forced to work 24/7 sometimes leaving us little time for other crucial intricacies of life. This has left us with a void and has made a dent in our space and the way we react to a sexual urge. The only way by which this can be minimized is by having a good work life balance and by giving the needed importance to the relationship. Remember that your work is not important than your physical well-being, and if your nature of the work is the cause of your ailments, then it is high time you think about changing it.
Communicate: More importantly, talk to a counselor about the problem you face and about your anxiety levels. Try having an open communication between you and your spouse and know your interest quotients. It is not wrong to appraise each other as far as physical intimacy s concerned. Remember that an open mind is always the fostering channel for dissolving the issues in bed.

Are You Having Issues In Sex Life? Know The Possible Reasons Behind It!

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