How much sex should you really have?

Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.

There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.

The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.

The health benefits of having sex are - 
As per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:
   It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseases
   It improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence
   It prevents erectile dysfunction in men
   It improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressure
   It acts as a stress reliever
   It improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart disease
   It reduces sensitivity to pain
There are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.

Is there a limit to having sex?
A large number of people all around the world are concerned about their carnal compulsions and frequently approach sex therapists about what frequency of sex constitutes as a 'healthy' dose.

There really is no such thing as too much sex. But if overindulgence in sexual activities causes a disturbance in everyday activities such as work, classes, household responsibilities and other obligations, it becomes a problem. If such a situation arises, it might be signs of a sex addiction in which case it is important to consult a sexologist or sex therapist. Ideally, having sex two times a day is good for your body, mind and soul.



How much sex should you really have?

When a person is aroused there are a host of hormonal changes within the person's body. These changes do manifest on the surface in the form of certain physical variations. Sexual stimulation happens to alter the state of human genitalia and that too in obvious ways. The blood flow to the concerned area increases, there is enough of natural lubrication in and around the organ and for women, the vagina loosens up and the clitoris swells. Intercourse followed by a climactic release will make the clitoris regain its original size. However, worries crop up when that is not the case with every single female. This serious medical condition of a swollen clitoris should never be overlooked; it must be treated by seeking experienced medical assistance.	 

1. Trauma: Any slight scratch or one wrong touch can cause a swollen clitoris. Even a scratch of your fingernail while you are masturbating or a rough sexual intercourse can and is enough to create trauma in your clitoris.

2. Hair: Hair grows normally around your genital area. It is very common for a woman to have pubic hair. But sometimes small hair splinters lead to trouble and hair gets stuck into your clitoris and causes swelling. This is a very annoying process, sometimes you may have to use a magnifying glass to remove the hair from your clitoris.

3. Clothing: sometimes your tight clothes can result in a swollen clitoris. The friction from your rough clothing material can cause your clitoris to swell. Sometimes you may be using a detergent that is not suitable for you or you may be wearing a dress material, which you're allergic to. You should always wash your clothes in plain water and dry it before using.

4. Infection: you may also have some bacterial and fungal infection in your clitoris, which can cause a swollen clitoris. This infection can also invite itchiness and redness and these can make it even worse. If it doesn't subside within some days then you should definitely see a doctor.

5. Cysts: small cysts known as Bartholomew's cysts can grow on the clitoris. This thing hampers the natural lubrication of the body.  If you are having clitoris swelling because of cysts then you should seek medical attention immediately.

Your clitoris is naturally sensitive and if you are having a swollen clitoris after intercourse then you should pull back from sexual intercourse for a few days. At times the swelling goes away on its own.

Swollen Clitoris - 5 Main Reason Behind Enlarged Clitoral  

4 Easy ways to increase your libido

Libido is a term that is used to describe the sexual desire for sexual activity. According to WHO, sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being, which is why libido is one of the key factors to a sound and healthy life. As men have 40 times as much testosterone as women, they are thought to have a more intense sexual drive. Dopamine plays a strong role in libido and motivation. Physical issues like low testosterone, too much exercise, and alcohol can cause low libido. Psychological issues may include depression and stress in everyday life.

The good news is that libido can be increased through some simple measures, which are:

1. Have a positive outlook

Prolonged stress can diminish your interest in sex, and men and women have different reactions to stressful situations. Both partners need to discuss their stressful jobs each day and find a non-stressful time for sex. Besides, being self-confident and optimistic makes you feel more sexual and charming to your partner.

2. Following a proper balanced diet

Natural supplements can increase your blood flow and help fight vaginal dryness. You can try the much-touted libido-boosting foods, known as aphrodisiacs. Figs, bananas, avocados, eggs, chocolate, and mangoes can help to increase libido. Foods rich in vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and zinc may help to boost sperm count, improve sperm motility and increase testosterone production in men.

3. Prepare for intimacy

If you are planning some quality time with your partner and hope to get him/her 'in the mood' you can try chocolate and coffee. Chocolate has been as the symbol of a desire not only for its delectable taste but because of its power to improve sexual desire. Coffee and chocolate both produce positive mood states, releasing endorphins, providing energy and increasing physical endurance. Wine, or any other form of alcoholic drink, consumed in a small amount, may help people to relax and get in the mood. However, caution must be maintained as excessive consumption can result in impotence in men.

4. Take time to meditate and relieve stress

Being stressed out can affect your sex drive. To relieve stress you can indulge in sports activities and exercises. Lifting the weight or doing resistance training exercises like pushups help to break down and rebuild muscles, creating a spike in testosterone production. For many couples, working out together can become a stimulating experience that gets them in the mood. Exercises can increase performance, range of motion, endurance, boost confidence and help you look younger and more attractive.



4 Easy Ways to Increase Your Libido

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

Sex tips every woman needs to know by the time she is 30
 
Thirty is more or less the age by which you can consider yourself a woman of the world. You have toiled hard to get into a comfortable space at work and are into a stable relationship as well. An important aspect to not ignore is your sexual life. Be equipped with the right ideas and ways to enjoy that aspect of your life.

Some facts and tips for the women of today.

1. Safety is foremost: meaningless hookups or otherwise - you cannot be careless; safety must be your priority. 

2. Express yourself: men are bad at guessing. They will not be able to guess what you like and how you like it. Tell the man exactly what you expect.

3. Live in the moment: a quickie is never a bad idea. Having frequent sex has its perks for your mood as well as overall health. An impromptu quickie will only put a spring to your steps.

4. Watch each other pleasuring self: it is not just for visual appeal, it is in fact educative - you get to study exactly what type of touch, speed, grip, etc gives him the most pleasure. He gets to know the same about you.

5. Take the initiative: most men like being shown that they are desired too. Why should he always initiate sex. Take the lead.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.


Sex Facts Every Woman Needs To Know By The Time She Is 30

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

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