HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

This post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition, which gets triggered by a terrifying event. It can happen either through experiencing it or by witnessing it. The symptoms include flashbacks of the events, nightmares leading to severe anxiety and thoughts related to the events, which you are unable to control. Going through traumatic events is quite normal and each and every individual goes through phases, where they encounter events filled with trauma and those who have long-lasting effect on their minds. If the symptoms get worse and go on to last for months and sometimes stretch up to years, then that might be of clear indication a person suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. 

Let us discuss about the symptoms in detail

The symptoms related to the Post-traumatic Stress Disorder might start within a month after coming across a traumatic sequence.
All these symptoms pose major problems in society, work situations and also in relationships. One s ability to go about doing any normal daily task might also get hampered.
Post-traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms are usually grouped into four types. Different symptoms of each type are:
Intrusive Memories: The symptoms are included under intrusive memories are

Utterly disturbing memories of any particular traumatic event on a recurring basis.
Feel as if you are reliving the traumatic sequence
Dreams which might upset or nightmares related to the horrifying incident.
Avoidance: Symptoms related to avoidance include, trying to avoid thinking or talking about a traumatic event and also avoid going to places or interacting with people, who might remind a person of a particular traumatic event.

Thinking pattern might turn negative: Symptoms of negative thinking patterns may include:You start thinking about yourself and the world in general negatively.There is a sense of hopelessness about the future.You start to get aloof from family and friends.

Physical and emotional reactions change: Symptoms of changes in physical and emotional reactions include

You tend to get scared easily
Unable to sleep peacefully
You cannot concentrate on a particular job
Sense of guilt and shame eats you from inside
Causes

Doctors are not really sure why people suffer from Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Like most of the health problems, this disorder is in all probability caused by a mix of:

Stressful experiences which a person has to go through while bearing any severe trauma.
Mental health risks inherited, if any of the family members suffered from anxiety and depression.
A person s temperament.
Treatment

The treatment for this Post-traumatic Stress Disorder can help people to take control of their lives once again. Psychotherapy is the primary mode of treatment followed for getting rid off this problem. Along with this, medication can also take an active part in the healing process.  A combination of these treatments can help in improving the symptoms by:

Showing the skills on how to address the symptoms
Counselling, through which people would be made to think better about themselves and others.
Different ways to help cope up, in case the symptoms arise in future.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Know The Detailed Symptoms Of The Problem!

Asthma is a disease that can be only controlled and not completely cured. This chronic disease can make one feel breathless and experience chest tightening. Modern medicine has an answer to the stressful symptoms of asthma. A wide range of tools and medicines help a great deal in controlling this disease. Find what tools and medicines can help in bringing down the symptoms of asthma and help one breathe with ease.

Pink flow meter: This small tool helps in measuring the movement of air in the lungs. You need to blow into it and read the number. The result helps in finding out the frequency of doctor visits and the dosage of the medicines. Forthcoming asthma attack too is indicated by this device, and you can see it declining with constant use. In fact, you would slowly stop experiencing any other symptoms. Using the pink flow meter forewarns you about a forthcoming asthma attack.

Checkups: You need to visit your doctor regularly. The frequency can vary. You will be seeing your doctor after every two to six weeks, based on the severity of the disease. If you strictly stick to the instructions of your doctor, you can improve the lung function. You can stay active and sleep well if you follow the medicines. This way, there will be no fear of emergency treatment as the peak flow is almost always above 80 percent in case of complete compliance to medicine. Even if you know your condition cannot be cured, you can keep it in check to lead a healthy life.

Medications: Asthma has to be controlled with two types of medicines. You will need to take fast-reacting medicines and the long-term medications. Providing immediate relief is what the quick-relief medicines do, and reducing inflammation of the airways is what the long-term medicines aim at. While there are pills available, the inhalers play a vital role in keeping asthma patients healthy. Through an inhaler, the medication is administered straight into the airways. This makes it easy to give larger and continuous dose of medicines. In fact, this is the most effective way to prevent and treat the asthma symptoms. Corticosteroids are inhaled with an inhaler and it results in long-term relief. Even if taken daily, patients do not get addicted to corticosteroids. Physicians may also prescribe pills that reduce inflammation of the airways. Short-acting b2 agonists are often prescribed as quick-relief medicines. Asthma-affected individuals must carry the inhaler and the quick-relief medicines with themselves, wherever they go.

Treatment for different age groups: In children, only the quick-relief medicines are prescribed. If required, the long-term medications are used after six years of age. If desired results are obtained, the treatment is stopped after six weeks. Children can also be administered corticosteroids. This may result in slowed growth in a few children but the effect does not last long. In elders, long-term inhaling of corticosteroids can increase the risk of osteoporosis. It is essential to take vitamin D supplements along with it. Also, do not take pain suppressants and anti-inflammatory drugs. Speak with your doctor about taking pills for other diseases. When a pregnant mother is asthmatic, the chances of the child getting asthma are higher. They also suffer the risk of premature birth and low birth weight. Check with your doctor about taking medicines for asthma when you are pregnant. You need to consider the risk and stick to safe medication practices.

Asthma - Know About Its Treatment In Modern Medicine! 

How to prevent dengue fever

A painful, mosquito-borne disease, dengue (pronounced dengue) fever is on the rise. While in some cases, it has proved to be fatal, in most cases dengue is curable. There is no vaccination available to protect against this fever. So the best way to avoid is to take precautions.
Here are a few precautions you can take against dengue.

1. Avoid public spaces - avoid densely populated residential areas, as more the people, more the virus can spread.
2. Use insect protection - use mosquito repellents and nets when indoors. Use repellents when going outdoors; this is especially important for children playing outdoors.
3. Use air cooling - use the fan or the air-conditioning when indoors as the air-cooling drives the mosquitoes away.
4. Prevent entry - close all doors and windows tightly before sunset. Ensure there are no gaps for mosquitoes to come indoors.
5. Check for symptoms - if you have any of the symptoms, consult your doctor. It is advisable to keep yourself aware about the symptoms so one can react quickly if needed. Some of the symptoms are:

Severe headaches.
Nausea.
Vomiting.
Sudden rise in body temperature.
Mild bleeding in the gums or nose.
Severe muscle and joint pain.
Acute pain behind the eyes.

The one confusing part of dengue fever is that it can be mistaken for normal fever upon onset. However, it can develop to serious problem. People with a weak immune system and people who have had dengue before, are at the higher risks of contracting this again, and at a bigger scale.



Prevent The Dangerous DENGUE Fever - Follow These Simple Steps

Cyclic vomiting syndrome (cvs) is characterized by periodic bouts of nausea and vomiting that happens at cyclical intervals. It affects all ages, but is more common in children. The condition is quite stereotypical in that there are paroxysms or bouts of vomiting that is recurrent and follows days of normal health.

Causes: there is no definite reason identified, but it is said to have a strong hereditary correlation. Studies have shown mitochondrial heteroplasmic (abnormal growth of mitochondria, which is a cellular component) to be one of the factors that can lead to cvs. The genetic correlation, however, is very difficult to establish, specifically because vomiting and nausea are common symptoms that occur with most conditions in children. And cvs is most commonly noted with conditions like infections and emotional excitement. Infection could be either tooth decay or sinusitis or anything else. Lack of sleep, anxiety, holidays, allergies, overeating, certain foods, menstruation - a host of factors have been shown to induce cvs. There is also a strong association with migraine and conditions that lead to excessive production of stress hormones.

Symptoms: the syndrome (a group of symptoms) usually has 4 phases:

1. Symptom-free interval phase: the child is completely normal in this phase, which happens in between bouts.

2. Prodromal phase: prodrome is an indication that a disease or a condition is about to happen. In cvs, this is usually nausea and abdominal pain that can last from a few minutes to a few hours. Treatment in this phase can curb the disease. However, there could be some children in whom this may not manifest and the child may directly start with vomiting.

3. Vomiting phase: repeated bouts of paroxysmal vomiting happen associated with nausea, exertion, fatigue, and drowsiness.

4. Recovery phase: as the nausea and vomiting begin to subside, which may take a couple of days, the child returns back to normal slowly. However, the lethargy and energy levels will take a couple of days to return to normal.

Treatment: treatment again depends on the severity and the phase at which it is being recognized. If a child has repetitive bouts, then the parent and the doctor would have identified a pattern to it.

1. If the causative agent has been identified, for instance, infection or migraine, then managing that takes care of the cvs also.

2. If identified during the prodromal phase, again it can be managed with suitable anti-emetic medications.

3. If identified after full onset, rest and sleep and medications to control nausea and vomiting are required. Adequate hydration with electrolyte replenishment and sedatives can provide additional support.
However, in most cases of childhood csv, the pattern will be identified and that helps in better management, both the child/parent and the podiatrist.

Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome in Children - Causes, Symptoms, Treatment

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

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