Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Trouble with speech arises from a number of issues in the brain or the nerves that are responsible for the control of the larynx, vocal cords and facial muscles. Muscular disorders end up affecting the teeth, mouth and jaws which in turn will invariably impair speech. Sometimes many of the health conditions are present since childbirth whereas others might occur because of infections, injury, tumors and metabolic diseases.
There are different kinds of speech disorders; they are -

Aphasia is the inability to comprehend language in any form (written, spoken) and generally takes place because of disturbances in the brain.
Dysarthria is the condition that makes articulation difficult for patients suffering from it. Symptoms associated with dysarthia are difficulty swallowing and slurred speech.
Spasmodic dysphonia makes speaking a difficult job because of recurrent muscle spasms. These muscles affected in this disorder control the vocal chords, and therefore your speaking ability.
As most of the cases of speech disorders start to show early on in childhood, how can you tell if your child needs speech therapy?
Here are five signs that you should keep an eye out for:

There is a distinctive lack in social mixing or interactions. Children who are not able to comprehend and effectively respond to what you say need to be evaluated.
By the time the baby is twelve months old, she or he would be able to create words. By the time they turn eighteen months old they are able to connect words. If the ability to create such words or make gestures or sounds are absent or are markedly reduced in your child then you need the help of a speech therapist.
Parents are capable of understanding what their child says by the time they turn one and a half to two years old. If this is not the case then you will have to seek the help of a therapist.
If your baby is nearly three years old and is still incapable of uttering simple words such as  Daddy sleep ,  mommy hungry  then you might need external help.
If your precious baby is significantly facing trouble with consonants such as  ma   ba ,  pa  at the age of two or is incapable of making sounds such as  k  or  g  then your child most likely has a speech disorder. You should get him evaluated at the earliest.

5 Telltale Signs That Your Child Needs Speech Therapy!!

There are few things I hear over and over again from students:

How they are studying for so many in a day
How they do not have even time for anything else in their life due to study pressure
How they are sleep deprived
How much they are stressed
And finally, afterall the sacrifices and hard work, their exam performance is not what they expect.
Here are few tips to study smart, improve your grades and yet have a life!
We all know that 2 hours of focused study will be much more productive than 4 hours of distracted study. And, the good news is that concentration is a mental skill that you can develop and improve. There are two ways to improve your concentration:

First, work on raising your brain's natural ability to concentrate or in other words, learn to increase your attention span.
Second, adjust the environment around you to make concentrating easier.
Improving your concentration takes a little time and effort, but it is worth it. In my personal experience with students, I have seen noticeable improvement in relatively short time.

A. Ideas for daily concentration boosting habits include

Mindfulness meditation: Many studies confirm that 20 minutes of meditation or more per day improves concentration and attention span. Mindfulness meditation, where one focuses on one's breathing,  is one of the simplest way of meditation. Start with ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes before bed. To begin with you may try a guided meditation. One can easily find audios for guided meditation online.
Proper sleep: I am sorry to say this. Pulling all nighters will not help with your grade. Unless you are getting sufficient restful sleep, you are not going to be as mentally focused as you could be to study as well as answer questions in exams.
Food for your Brain: The more you use certain skills, the more they are reinforced in the brain. So it makes sense that playing concentration games and games that require you to focus will improve your concentration ability. You need to be consistent in this. Play for about 10 to 20 minutes each day. Have fun, and get the benefits but remember not to spend more than 20 minutes a day. Your goal is to improve your concentration and not just keep scoring higher in the game! Try Lumosity and use only free version this will help you restrict your daily play time to 20 minutes and have maximum benefit.
Eat healthier: Your brain needs the proper nutrients to allow you to focus. Eat more vegetables and fruits and avoid consumption of junk food as much as possible. Instead, you could keep some nuts such as walnuts, almond or peanuts as in between munches. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white flour in your diet as much as you could.  
Exercise: It is helpful in both reducing stress and increasing energy and focus. At least 20 minutes a day would go a long way. Going for a short jog of 20 minutes will make next 4 to 5 hours of study very efficient.
B. Optimize your mental state & environment

In addition to building the habits described above into your daily routine; also adjust your environment and your current mental state to improve your concentration when studying.

Create a study space: Your brain loves routine. Create a place where all you do is study. An obvious choice is a secluded desk of some kind, but the trick is to make sure you only study in that spot. Studying in bed is a bad habit, for example, because your body is trained to want to sleep once you get into bed.
Remove distractions: Turn off the ringer on your phone and take other steps to prevent interruptions. Don't study with the television on or with radio playing. Some studies have shown that soft instrumental music (no vocals) can help improve your concentration.
Reduce background noises: If you have to study or work in an environment where it is too loud (classroom or open space) or too quiet (such as at home or at a library) you can get easily distracted by outside influences. With the right amount of background noise you can actually block out distractions and enhance your creative thinking.
Use timer: Set a time limit when you need to study new material. For example, let's say you want to read one chapter in a book (and remember it). Decide in advance that you can have 45 minutes to read the chapter, and 15 minutes to review it. Set a timer to keep yourself honest, then pace yourself to keep within the allotted time.
Stay motivated: If you see studying as burden, it's hard to concentrate. One way to stay motivated is to set up a reward system. Tell yourself you have to earn that hour of watching your favorite show later in the evening by first completing 2-3 hours of intense studying. That way, even if the material is dry, you have the reward to look forward to.
Take breaks: Take a break every two hours. Your mental energy will begin to decline after a long period of study. So every two hours or so, take a ten-minutes break. Walk around, eat a light snack, or just stare at the wall to relax your mind.
Concentrating is the first step to learning anything new. It only makes sense that if you improve your concentration, your memory will improve also.

How an expert can help?
If you want to get individualized expert opinion about how you are studying currently and what ways you can improve; you can always consult the expert. Once he/she knows what your current study methods are, they will be able to give you specific tips to improve upon. Most likely once you incorporate those tips you will be spending less time studying and your grades will improve. That's what is studying smarter and not harder means!!

Ways to Study Smarter   Not Harder!

If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Psychiatric disorders like bipolar disorder or schizophrenia do not appear all of a sudden. There are small changes that happen to an individual over a long period of time until the disease fully develops. These signs and symptoms might be too subtle in the early stage for other people to notice until they become obvious. But an early detection of any irregularity proves to be more beneficial for the patient in the long run.

It is important to know the telltale symptoms of mental disorder to distinguish between what is regular and what is not.

Withdrawal
Everyone needs some quiet time to cool off and relax but if a person continuously withdraws him/herself from social occasions and avoids meeting or speaking to friends, it could be a sign that something is wrong. Losing interest in life, work and people are symptoms of depression and psychotic disorder.

Thinking problems
Having trouble concentrating, remembering, understanding and explaining oneself in a coherent manner are some common signs of mental disorder.

Anxiety
Excessive stress and anxious behavior for a prolonged period are not normal. Frequent heart palpitations, headache, shortness of breath, racing mind and restlessness are cries of help that need to be heard.

Emotional outbursts
Sudden dramatic outbursts for no apparent reason, frequent mood swings and feeling distressed are potent signs of mental illnesses. These kinds of behavior are seen as part of a person's nature and so they are often unnoticed.

Changes in appetite and sleeping patterns
Oversleeping may be a sign of depression and insomnia could be a sign of anxiety. Changes in appetite and not caring about oneself or the world are indicators of a mental problem.

5 Silent Signs Of A Psychiatric Disorder

Cerebral Palsy (CG) is a neurological disorder caused by an injury to the brain or a brain malformation that occurs while the child s brain is still developing   in the mother s womb before birth, during birth, or immediately after birth.

This disorder affects the child s movement and muscle coordination and control. It also affects his:

Reflexes
Balance
Posture
Motor skills and
Oral motor functions
In easy to understand language, CG can impact the child s ability to walk, talk, sit, do simple tasks like eating, combing hair, talking, and other activities we take for granted. The physical impairment caused by cerebral palsy can affect all limbs, the face and head, or it may just affect one limb. Since CG affects muscles and a child s ability to control them, common symptoms include muscles that contract too much, too little, or all at the same time, leading to limbs that are stiff and forced into awkward positions. Other complications also arise such as intellectual impairment, seizures, or vision/ hearing and speech impairment.

How does Speech Therapy help?
Speech problems affect more than half of all children with cerebral palsy as they have difficulty controlling the muscles in their face, throat, neck and head. Apart from speaking, this also affects chewing and swallowing. It can also cause drooling and the ability to learn, difficulty hearing and understanding spoken language.

This is where speech and language therapy comes in. Speech therapy improves a child s speech and communication by strengthening the muscles used for speech. It also improves understanding of speech and language as well as help with swallowing disorders, like dysphagia.

Speech therapy helps exponentially as when children improve their speech and communication, they are able to express their needs, share their thoughts and interact with others, leading to an overall improvement in their overall quality of life.

Speech therapy can help with the following:

Listening
Articulation of words
Pronunciation
Fluency
Sound and word formation
Language and vocabulary development
Breath control
Chewing
Swallowing
Speech muscle coordination
Apart from this, the other primary benefits are boosting self esteem, socialization, independence and reducing shyness. 

Exercises used in Speech Therapy
Speech therapy treatment usually consists of exercises tailored to a child s specific needs. Different exercises are used in speech therapy like:

Articulation therapy: The therapist uses language cards to help focus attention on specific sounds to encourage the child to make sounds while looking in the mirror to help him understand how his mouth moves.
Blowing exercises: The therapist encourages the child to blow bubbles or a whistle to train the mouth muscles to produce sounds.
Breathing exercises: Work is exclusively on inhalation and exhalation to strengthen the diaphragm.
Jaw exercises: The child is encouraged to eat foods that require extra chewing to strengthen jaw muscles.
Language and word association: The therapist uses flashcards with different words and sounds written on them.

Cerebral Palsy (CP) - How Speech Therapy Can Help You?

Don't wait any longer, manage your Counselling Psychologist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Counselling Psychologist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES