Getting through an ugly divorce is quite a difficult thing, no matter what the reason might be. Your world can turn upside down after a divorce and you have to make a fresh new start in life.

Here are some tips you should follow to get through an ugly divorce:

Accept the fact that it is okay to have different feelings: All feelings like sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration and confusion are quite intense after a divorce. You should accept these reactions and they will surely decrease with time.
You need to give yourself a break: Accept the fact that you are weak and time is required to be back to normal functioning. Your work performance can be affected as well. Taking a break is a must after a divorce.
Do not try to go through the situation alone: You should share your feelings with your friends and family, and you will surely get help. Joining support groups can also be fruitful. Isolation makes your condition worse; so you must go out, interact and share stuff.
You should take proper emotional and physical care of your body: Eat timely, work out and relax. Try to maintain your normal daily routine and do not make major life decisions during this point of life. Abstain from too much alcohol and cigarettes as they are not a solution.
Avoid ugly situations: Avoid talking to your former spouse as discussions may lead to ugly situations and fights, which would enhance your misery.
Take a hobby: Try to do things you love to do from your heart. Join classes, take music lessons, paint pictures and slowly try to enjoy life. Making new friends is also a good idea.
Think positive: Positive thinking is a must and if you engross yourself in positive, constructive activities, you are likely to feel good. You need to be flexible and in case you have children, do your best to provide them an ideal atmosphere for adjusting to the situation.
Time can heal everything: Keep one thing in mind that life will eventually return to normal. Time heals everything and one day you will not be affected anymore.
Talk to your children and help them cope: You need to provide proper care to your kids for coping with the situation. Talk to your children and make them understand that they are not responsible for the divorce by any means. Try to ease their concerns, be compassionate, but maintain a direct approach. Maintain your child's routine exactly how it used to be, so that they feel less amount of sudden change. Do not involve your children in the conflict in any way.
A divorce is extremely difficult to cope with, as one has never faced or felt such a situation before. With proper support and measures, you can get over a divorce much more easily.

9 Ways to Help You Get Through an Ugly Divorce?

Every smoker knows smoking is not good, yet the addiction stays. This addiction can lead to a variety of problems that can damage their body in  at times, irreparable ways. The tar in cigarettes is particularly damaging. It can lead to reduction in oxygen consumption and replenishment in the body and makes open or more susceptible to diseases such as emphysema and bronchitis. However the biggest killer is 'nicotine. There are ways to offset nicotine intake.

Adopt these methods to detox your body of nicotine.
 
1) Drink lots of water -  Having a lot of water helps. Lime water, chamomile or green tea help a lot in flushing out the nicotine that has accumulated your body for over the years.

2) Take diet rich in nutrients and fibres - Nicotine addiction and if you quit, smoking withdrawal may lead to unbalanced diet and weight gain. So, ensure that you consume enough fibre for regular bowel movement to clean out your system. Berries, grapes, mangoes and a variety of antioxidants are a must have.

3) Avoid these foods - There are certain foods you should consider avoiding. For instance, alcohol. Also, avoid soda, caffeine and fried foods as well.

4) Exercise - Strengthen the capacity of your lungs through deep breathing and other cardio-strength training exercises.

5) Make 'No Smoke' a Goal - The only long term help in detoxifying your body from nicotine is to remain smoke free. While your determination plays the most important role here, some people can leave it without many hassles, while others witness severe withdrawal symptoms. You can also opt for a nicotine patch or gum to help you with it.

If you have any further questions on issues related to smoking or other general health queries, click on 'consult.

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Can't Stop Smoking? Atleast Follow This Advice.

5 awesome Bill Gates personality traits you can help your child pick up

Do you want to know what makes Bill Gates not just a mega-successful businessman but also a great human being? Well apart from outstanding business chops and an IQ of 160 of course. It is his attitude to life in general. If you want to see your child touch the peak of success personally and professionally, the apple of your eye should have certain integral personality traits. Here’s how you can effectively imbibe them in him/her. And there’s no better day to get started than today, the Microsoft founder’s Birthday!

1. Make your child a fighter.
We’ve often heard Bill Gates exhorting people to not give up despite the odds against them. “Life is not fair, get used to it” is his golden mantra. When your child seems down and beaten, always be there to support and encourage him, just like Gates’ parents were there to nurture his dream of computer programming from their club’s funds.

2. Inculcate traits of sensitivity and warmth.
A life lesson Gates champions is that of giving back to the society through his notable charitable endeavours such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. So how do you teach your child to realise his dream in this highly competitive world without losing his compassion? The answer is simple; encourage your child to perform small, daily acts of kindness like donating part of his pocket money, helping an elderly to cross the road or feeding the poor.

3. ‘No’ to shortcuts. ‘yes’ to patience and honesty.
Bill Gates is a strong believer of hard work. He’ll tell you that you need to work hard to realise your dream with shortcuts being a no-go. If your child is tempted to indulge in shortcuts, do not hesitate to gently admonish him. To be patient and honest consistently is hard even for us adults. Nevertheless, make yourself a role model for your child.

4. Stay humble.
One of the reasons behind the immense success of Microsoft’s founder is that he sees great opportunities even in the smallest and lowliest of work. “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity” He’s famously been quoted time and again. If you want your child to climb the ladders of success like this monumental man encourage him to get his hands dirty. You could begin with getting him to help out in household chores to get your point across.

5. Learn to learn from your mistakes.
The man of wisdom strongly advises to teach your child to learn from his mistakes. Whenever your child does something wrong, give him some time and space to understand his mistakes so that the lessons learnt remain with him for life. If the lesson turns out to be positive then the mistake made was worth it. In time, your little tyke will no longer depend on you or others to correct his mistakes. We’ll be looking at a self-sufficient person in his own right.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.


Happy Birthday, Bill Gates! Top 5 Gates’ personality traits your child can pick up

Alcohol, tobacco and drugs; these are some of the most common substances that people can get addicted to. Getting addicted is easy but to get rid of your habit is hard. 

Here are a few things that could help:

Set a date: Addicts who tell themselves that they will quit tomorrow often never end up doing so. Set a date for yourself when you will have your last smoke and drink. Ideally, you should set this date a few weeks from the day you decide to give up your bad habits to allow yourself to be mentally prepared.
Find new friends: Peep pressure is one of the most common reasons for an addiction to begin. Hence, the first thing to do when you are trying to give up a bad habit is to stay away from the people you associate with that habit and make new friends.
Hold yourself accountable to someone: While you can give in to yourself, it is harder to make excuses for doing something when you are being held accountable by someone else. Find a mentor or a friend who will be there for you and who will  sponsor  your deaddiction.
Find your weak spots: Every habit is triggered by certain factors. If you have decided to try and give up a bad habit, identify the factors that trigger it and avoid them. For example, your morning cup of coffee may trigger the need for a cigarette. By replacing coffee with juice, you can make your morning a little easier.
Take up a new hobby: A hobby is a great way to distract yourself from cravings. Crossword puzzles and Sudoku are great as indoor hobbies while swimming is an excellent outdoor hobby. You could even try gardening or crafts.
Exercise: One of the many benefits of exercising is that it can help boost endorphins and make you feel happier and thus less likely to crave cigarettes of alcohol. Aim for at least half an hours exercise each day.
Maintain a journal: Some days are good and some days are bad. To give yourself a balanced view of your deaddiction process, maintain a journal. Write down your achievements as well as your pitfalls and be proud of what you have achieved for yourself.
Help someone else: The best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else. Similarly, with addiction, the best way to be strong and give up a bad habit is to help someone else do it. This way, you are forced to be a good example and give up the habit yourself.
Ask for help: Do not be so proud as to not be able to ask for help when you need it. Remember, it is better to appear weak and ask for help rather than go back to your addiction.
Don t give up: Relapses are common but they do not have to be the end of your efforts. If you do have a bad day and have a few drags of smoke or maybe a drink, tell yourself that it s ok. Identify the reasons why you gave in to yourself and start afresh from the next morning.

Addiction - 10 Sure Shot Ways To Deal With It!

Procrastination is a way of sabotaging oneself by putting off activities and delaying success. This is an emotional and mental obstacle that many people face in varying degrees. So here is everything you need to know about procrastination.

It becomes a lifestyle: As per medical research, about 20% of the people who procrastinate, have been doing it on a chronic basis and can now safely say that this is a lifestyle and not just a habit that one has fallen prey to.
It is cultivated: Contrary to popular belief, procrastination is not something that anyone is born with. It is cultivated with constant inaction over a period of years, which also includes the act of making excuses to put off a task.
Excessive alcohol consumption: In many cases, procrastinators will end up enjoying higher consumption of alcohol than their contemporaries. This may be done to alleviate boredom before the excessive consumption becomes a habit, which further dulls the senses.
Hiding from the truth: It has been seen that procrastinators often lie to themselves or hide the truth about their problem by making mindless excuses, which do not actually exist. They are chronic liars who come to believe their lies, which can give rise to even more severe behavioural issues.
Distractions: Most people who procrastinate will look for distractions that will keep them from doing their work properly. This may include watching television or eating, or even doing mindless chores that are not important.
Focus: Many of these procrastinators have problems when it comes to focusing and finding solutions for various tasks. They cannot prioritise and put their mind to a certain task, which also prevents them from understanding the requirements for completing that task.
Avoiders: These types of procrastinators usually avoid doing the tasks that will lead them to success. They do not make the effort to carry out the necessary tasks in a proper manner.
Decisional procrastinators: These kind of procrastinators simply cannot find the motivation to take a decision that will change the direction of their lives by putting one step in front of the other on a daily basis.
Cost of procrastination: There is a huge cost that is borne by these kinds of people in the long run. While missing deadlines, losing jobs and not graduating from college are just some of the consequences, many of them also come down with a plethora of health conditions including gastrointestinal diseases.
Therapy for procrastination: The best way to transform a procrastinator is with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain with fruitful, guided discussions and internal dialogues. This kind of therapy works well in the long run.

10 Things You Must Know About Procrastination

Each and every person on this planet has to deal with the loss of a loved one at some point of their life or the other. It is an undeniable and unavoidable part of the human existence. However, at times, the grief can affect the person so much that their psychological, emotional and physical health may be affected. Their normal day- to-day functioning may be affected as a result of their extreme reaction to the loss of their loved one. In such a case it is ideal to seek treatment from a certified medical professional such as a counselor or psychologist. If the condition is even more serious and the patient requires help to treat him or her, then it is advisable to go to a psychiatrist.

However, the following tips commonly given by mental health professionals may help to deal with such a loss:

-Accepting one's emotion: sometimes an individual may remain in denial about the loss of the loved one or about his or her own reaction to it. This increases the negative emotion as it does not find a medium of expression. The person withdraws into himself or herself, and is slowly unable to conduct the usual daily activities. The first step therefore is to fully accept the reality of the event and one's own response to it. It can help to speak to a friend or family member about one's own response, or even release the grief by crying. Such cathartic avidities are the first step.

-Taking care of oneself: often after the death of a loved one, an individual may become wary of his or her own condition and fail to look after himself or herself. This should be avoided. Normal diet, exercise and activities are required.

-Channeling grief into productive activity: constantly focusing on the loss of the loved one can increase the trauma and stress. Sometimes it helps to focus on helping others, e.g. Volunteering at a charity or assisting others in some way. Even taking up artistic pursuits or any productive hobby proves to be beneficial.


Coping with the Loss of Loved One

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