Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger


A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Schizophrenia affects over 1% of the world s population and affects the way a person thinks, feels and behaves. In most cases, it is diagnosed when a person is between the ages of 16 to 25. This condition can be hereditary and is said to affect men more often than women. Schizophrenia is characterized by an inability to distinguish between real and imaginary which can lead to delusions, social withdrawal, hallucinations and other forms of social and occupational dysfunction.

Schizophrenia affects different people in different ways. On the basis of the type of symptoms exhibited, this disease has been categorized into 5 sub types. These are:

Paranoid schizophrenia: This type of schizophrenia is characterized by delusions and hallucinations that may make the person exhibit paranoid behaviour. These people often feel like they are being watched or followed and may have delusions of grandeur. They may also get angry quickly on minor issues and show signs of anxiety and hostility.
Disorganized schizophrenia: In such cases, the person may behave in ways that are difficult to understand or speak in broken sentences and have difficulty structuring a sentence. They may also display inappropriate behaviour and react in ways not suitable to the occasion. People suffering from disorganized schizophrenia may also neglect their personal hygiene.
Catatonic schizophrenia: People suffering from catatonic schizophrenia may swing between immobility and periods of rapid movement. They may stay quiet for hours or talk rapidly repeating everything they hear. These people have a high risk of harming themselves as they are usually unable to look after themselves and complete daily activities.
Undifferentiated schizophrenia: People suffering from this type of schizophrenia exhibit behaviour that fits into more than one type of schizophrenia. From time to time they may have hallucinations, suffer from delusions or display catatonic behaviour and disorganized behaviour or speech.
Residual schizophrenia: Even though a person may not be currently showcasing any signs of schizophrenia, they are said to have residual schizophrenia. Such people need to have had at least one schizophrenic episode. These people may exhibit symptoms later or be in complete remission.
With schizophrenia, an early diagnosis can make treatment easier and hence if you notice anyone exhibiting signs of schizophrenia, you must advise them to seek medical help immediately. Schizophrenia cannot be cured but it can be managed with a combination of typical or atypical medication and cognitive therapy. The latter can be in the form of self-help groups, housing and employment programs, counselling and therapy. 

Types Of Schizophrenia - How Can They Be Dealt With?

Smoking   Some Naked Facts!

Smoking kills > 420,000 people per year worldwide.
In India one million people die of smoking related diseases each year.
Tobacco use is the second leading cause of death world-over.
Smoking is more lethal than AIDS, Accidents, Homicides, Suicides, Fire, etc.
2700 substances have been identified in Cigarette smoke, most of them harmful including cyanide, benzene, formaldehyde, methanol, acetylene, ammonia, nitrogen oxide, carbon monoxide, etc.
Every cigarette takes 5.5 minutes of your life.
Smoking one packet a day for 10 years increases risk for Ischemic Heart Diseases by 300 % & risk for lung cancer by 500 %.
Passive smoking (breathing second hand smoke) is also harmful. Spending 2 hours in a smoky bar is equivalent to smoking 4 cigarettes. Living with a pack-a-day smoker is like smoking 3 cigarettes by yourself.

What are the Risks? 

Cancer: 85% of Lung Cancers and 28% of all cancer deaths are attributed to smoking. Smokers have higher rates of leukemia, kidney, stomach, bladder, and pancreas cancers. About 30% of cervical cancers have been attributed to both active and passive smoking.

Lungs: Smokers are generally at higher risk for nearly all major lung diseases like pneumonia, flu, COPD, bronchitis, emphysema, asthma, etc.

Brain: Smokers run almost two and a half times the risk of stroke as non-smokers and the risk for dementia is also higher in smokers.

Male Sexuality and Reproduction: Smoking decreases the amount of blood flowing into the penis, reduces sperm density, reduces sperm motility, and may lead to impotence & infertility

Female infertility, Pregnancy: Smoking increases the risk of female infertility, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriages, stillbirth, prematurity and low-birth weight, so also there is a risk of passing genetic mutations that increase cancer risks to unborn babies.

Children: Mothers exposed to smoke (active or passive) are more likely to have children with motor control problems, perception impairments, and attention disabilities. Exposure to smoke early on affect the lungs of infant as early as the first 2 to 10 weeks of life, it increases the risk for lower respiratory infections (asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia) by 50% and worsens the condition of children who have existing asthma.
 
Spine & Bones: Smokers whose jobs involve lifting heavy objects are more likely to develop low back pain than non-smokers. They are at increased risk for developing osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis. Smokers are more prone to develop degenerative disorders and injuries in the spine, they have more trouble recovering from spinal surgery as smoking also impairs formation of new bone.

Why Quit?


Physical Benefits: They start as early as in few minutes.

Blood pressure and Pulse rate return to Normal in 20 minutes.
Levels of carbon monoxide and oxygen in the blood return to normal in 8 hours and chance of heart attack decreases in 24 hours.
Nerve endings start to regrow; ability to taste and smell increases within 48 hours.
Bronchial tubes relax; lung capacity increases by 72 hours.
In 2 to 12 weeks  time circulation improves and lung functions improve up to 30%.
In 1 to 9 months  time there is a decreased incidence of coughing, sinus infection, fatigue, and shortness of breath; cilia in lungs start re-growing, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce chance of infection.
Overall energy level increases.

Smoking - Facts, Risks & Why To Quit!

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as  short-tempered.  Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.
SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

Anger   physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
Anger   psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body s  fight or flight  response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

Headache 
Insomnia 
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
Increased anxiety 
High blood pressure 
Depression 
Heart attack 
Stroke 
Skin problems, such as eczema
IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.
Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. 
Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
Exercise regularly.
BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

Lead by example. 
Treat your child s feelings with respect. 
Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

Drug addiction is a major problem in today's world. The major part of these drug abuse victims are teenagers. There are several reasons may drive your teen kid to hard drugs which include peer pressure, neglect, curiosity or just for the sake of being cool. This could be a major concern for the parents whose children get addicted to drugs but an important thing to keep in mind is that the only person who can help your kid overcome addiction are the parents.

Here are a few measures that can help your kid overcome drug addiction:
1. In order to put your kids on the right path, the most important thing is to show them love. You should keep aside your anger, fear and grief and approach them. Tell them why you are scared or angry. Proper love and affection is required to bring your kids back to the normal track.

2. Try to find their strengths and weakness. Your child should be complemented for any good thing he or she does. You should observe them properly and try to perceive their current nature and mental state.

3. You should try to keep your calm and talk to them instead of scolding, shouting or threatening them. You must also listen to them carefully and try not to react in any way. Talk to them about your concerns and see whether they are cooperating with you.

4. Getting your kids involved in some activity, which will let them mix with a different group of peers will be a positive remedy. You have to make them feel good about themselves. Try to find ways so that your kids will get into some positive, productive activity.

5. Fixing an appointment with a psychiatrist who deals with drug abuse situations can also help you deal with the issue. You must explain to your kids that there is an obvious reason behind their addiction, and it must be solved for their own good.

6. You should also connect with the counselors at schools and colleges. They have seen many cases like your child s and know about the situation well. You can enroll your kids in a substance abuse program which is connected with his school.

7. You must tell your kids that what they are doing is risky and illegal and as parents, you have the right to help them overcome this in order to maintain good health, and that you do not want them to go to prison.

8. Find an expert therapist specializing in teen substance abuse and make your kids have weekly appointments with him. A good therapist knows the best ways to guide your kids to the right path.
Drug addiction in kids is a common syndrome these days. If your kid is into hard drugs, you need to do your best to save him and help him overcome the addiction.

How to Help Your Kids Overcome Addiction?

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