Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

Thinking about dangers and risks is a normal phenomenon, it helps us to stay alert and to become a good problem solver. It’s only when worrying gets out of a person’s control, it turns into a problem. If a person is constantly preoccupied with “what-if " and keeps imagining worst-case scenarios, worry actually turns into the cause for high pulse rate, insomnia, poor mental and physical health. 

Here are 4 simple steps to cope with anxiety and worry.

1. Breathing technique: The first thing to do when you get anxious is to take deep breath. Deep breathing is a powerful anxiety-reducing technique because it activates the body’s relaxation response. Try slowly inhaling to a count of 5, filling your belly first and then your chest, gently holding your breath to a count of 5, and slowly exhaling to a count of 5 and repeat several times.

2. Accept that you’re anxious: Remember anxiety is just a feeling, like any other feeling, by reminding yourself that anxiety is simply an emotional reaction, you can start to accept it. Acceptance is critical because trying to eliminate anxiety often worsens it. But accepting your anxiety doesn’t mean liking it or resigning yourself to a miserable existence. It just means you would benefit by accepting reality as it is – and in that moment, reality means 'anxiety' you are feeling.

3. Question your worries. When people are anxious, most of the time their brains start coming up with all sorts of unrealistic ideas, which most likely will never occur. To avoid unnecessary worry, one should ask himself / herself a few questions like:
- Is there a reason to believe something is wrong?
- What evidence is there that something is wrong?
- If the worst possible outcome happens, what would be so bad about that?
- What are the options I can use to handle the situation at hand?


4. Focus on right now: When people are anxious, they are usually obsessing about something that might occur in the future. It is important that when a person becomes anxious, he/she takes a deep breath and pay attention to what’s happening right now, around them. Even if something serious is happening, focusing on the present moment will improve your ability to manage the situation.

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Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

Bipolar disorder:

Also known as manic-depressive disorder, bipolar disorder is the sudden change in mood, which might take a swing from depression to mania. It is a very severe disorder and can bring about unstable and precarious behavior. The risk of having suicidal tendencies is also quite high. Bipolar disorder is usually treated with medicines alongside therapy.

Symptoms:

1. Bipolar mania
2. Hypomania
3. Depression
4. Mood swings

The mood swings do not follow any particular pattern.

Schizophrenia Disorder

Schizophrenia is a chronic mental disorder which affects the general behavior and lifestyle of a person. Schizophrenics might face a difficulty in distinguishing between the real and the imaginary.
Contrary to public belief, schizophrenia is neither split personality nor multiple personalities. It is not an after effect of any previous traumatic experience. It might be genetic or a result of chemical imbalance in the brain chemicals.

Symptoms:

1. Paranoia
2. Senseless talking
3. Feeling apathetic
4. Insomnia
5. Personality change
6. Hallucinations
7. Delusions
8. Withdrawal from society
9. Attention deficit disorder or add

No specific medicine is available for schizophrenia. Usually, rehabilitation is advised to regain confidence and recover skills required for a productive life.

Psychosis

Similar to schizophrenia, psychosis is another mental disorder which is characterized by hallucinations and delusions. Psychosis is extremely dangerous and harmful as it might spur you to cause self-inflicted wounds and pain. It is of utmost importance to consult a doctor immediately after experiencing psychotic symptoms.

Symptoms:

1. Hallucinations
2. Delusions
3. Depression
4. Anxiety
5. Suspicion
6. Insomnia or hypersomnia
7. Withdrawal from society
8. Attention deficit disorder or add
9. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD

The only available diagnosis for psychosis is a psychiatric evaluation. Certain medical tests and x-rays may also be executed along with it to detect the underlying cause. Psychosis may be caused due to Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, brain tumors, Alzheimer's disease, epilepsy, etc.

Although there aren't any medical complications in psychosis, it should not be left untreated due to its harmful effects. Medication and therapy are the known cures of psychosis.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia Disorder and Psychosis

Unlike what you may think, anxiety is a common emotional response in a situation where we are worried about an outcome. It is, in fact, beneficial to us as it keeps us alert and charged for a reaction. Anxiety disorder, however, comes when you lose control over your reaction and let it take control of your life in a way that disables you from living a normal life. 
The first thing to do as a positive step is to accept that you have a disorder. Mental health problems are as big as physical problems. Just like the body needs to be treated to cure a disease, the mind too can be treated to cure you of your problems. The next thing to do is to know what type of disorder you are suffering from to get specific treatment for it.

Connection between anxiety and depression:
Anxiety is not just incessant worrying. It is sometimes an obsessive compulsive disorder that can takeover your life or a terrifying phobia that can prevent you from doing things that are routine for others. Over a period of time, living with such a disorder can take an emotional toll leading to depression. 
The chances of developing depression in addition to anxiety is quite high. In fact, almost half of all people with major depression also suffer from severe and persistent anxiety. In many cases people suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety are also victims of depression.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression disorder
Constant fear and worry
Loss of interest in normal life, hobbies and activities
Insomnia and fatigue with inability to relax
Panic attacks
Feeling of sadness and worthlessness

Coping with anxiety and depression disorder
The first and most important thing to know is that both conditions are treatable and patients who get regular care, medication and support from friends and family can come back to living a normal life. Here are some of the treatments available:

1. Medication: Taking proper medication is very important as it acts quickly and is quite safe. Most people do not take medication, such as sleeping pills, fearing they might get addicted to them, which is a myth. Also, medications prescribed by your doctor are safe and specific that is why they have been prescribed.

2. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): It is used to first figure out what the cause behind the anxiety or depression. It is then used to teach people to manage their fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms and also learn how to take control of their emotions. Another therapy used for treating depression is Emotive Behaviour therapy.

3. Lifestyle modification: In order to overcome, anxiety and depression, certain lifestyle changes are required, such as one should exercise daily at least for 30 minutes and eat a healthy diet.

4. Counselling: Counselling helps the person to overcome the oppressive thoughts and cope up with the feeling of worthlessness.

5. Group therapy: Knowing you are not alone with your pains and fears can often come as a big relief. Not only will the patient benefit from joining a local support group, the care giver will also learn how to cope with the developments of the disorder and how they can continue to provide care and support to their loved ones.

How to Cope with Anxiety and Depression Disorder

Depression is often equated with isolation and brooding but this is not always the case. Many people may actually suffer from depression without showing the typical symptoms of this condition. Hence, this form of depression may go unnoticed for many years. Such cases are known as high-functioning depression. Some of the symptoms of this condition include:

Having difficulty expressing happiness: Though a person may be able to work normally, a person suffering from high-functioning depression will find it difficult to express emotions such as happiness. Thus he or she may not know how to act in the event of a promotion at work, the beginning of a new relationship or any other such happy events. In such cases, the happiness a person experiences from these events is temporary and muted.
Lowered energy levels: Unlike not being able to get out of bed when suffering from typical forms of depression, a person suffering from high-functioning depression can follow his or her usual routine. However, they often find themselves lacking the energy they would normally have and feel the need to put extra effort into their normal tasks. This reduces the amount of satisfaction derived from completing tasks.
Persistent self-doubt: While being self-critical is good to a certain extent, a person suffering from this form of depression is rarely satisfied with their work. Even when recognised by their peers or given an award for their work, they feel that this praise is misguided and have trouble accepting it. Thus, suffering from this condition is akin to swimming a race against the current and with additional unnecessary weights.
Substance abuse: Since this form of depression can go undiagnosed for many years, patients often turn to alcohol and other addictive substances in frustration. This can further delay diagnosis as many of the symptoms of this condition can also be attributed to substance abuse.
Feeling like a failure: Many people suffering from this condition feel as though they are constantly wasting time no matter how much they achieve in a day. This can make them feel hopeless and cause frequent changes in jobs.
The good news is that depression can be cured. Hence if someone around you or you, yourself experience such symptoms, talk to a doctor. Alternatively, you could make a few changes in your lifestyle to lift your mood. Try meditating in the morning or fit in some light exercise into your day. You could even take up a new hobby. However, this cannot replace cognitive therapy and psychological counselling.

High Functioning Depression & Anxiety!

MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Effects of Smoking on Sexual Health

Smoking, in general, has a negative effect on the human body. It can cause a host of disorders such as mouth cancer, blood pressure problems, and lung cancer. Smoking affects the sexual performance of both men and women.

Here are some effects that smoking has on sex

1. Impotence: Smoking can damage the blood vessels that lead to erectile dysfunction (a condition where the penis cannot sustain an erection).

2. Decrease in libido: Smoking can cause various physical problems such as stamina reduction and lack of desire for sex. An individual who smokes won't be able to give an optimal sexual performance and this can further lower satisfaction levels.

3. Erectile dysfunction: Smoking can cause problems related to the circulation of the blood in the body. It can narrow the arteries that supply blood and this is directly linked with erectile dysfunction.

4. Tissue damage: Smoking can damage the tissues inside the penis thus impairing your ability to have an erection during sexual intercourse.

5. Early onset of menopause: It can affect the estrogen (a sex hormone) levels in the female body; so, women who smoke tend to reach menopause early.

6. Reduction in penis size: It can reduce the penis size in men by damaging the blood vessels and the structure of the tissue around the penis. This is more common in younger men.

7. Reduction in stamina: Smoking can cause a reduction in the stamina, thus a person will not be able to perform well sexually. It can lead to fatigue and tiredness during sex.

Of course, there are a lot of therapies which can help you recover from the damage already happened because of smoking and prevent further damage.

Does Smoking Affect Your Performance in Bed?

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