HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

The Power Of Passion

Passion is the energy that can fuel a project, or a task. It gives you the energy to jump out of bed every morning or go to bed late after you have worked out the last block that was stopping your passion from flowing. It has a similar role to inspiration. When we engage in something we are passionate about, we feel free from external and internal blocks and in control. Time recedes into the background, and we feel empowered to engage in flow. 
Research has shown that passion has brought people back to life and start thriving again, making them more emotionally stable and a strong mental equilibrium. Abraham Maslow, a US psychologist said that without passion, nobody would reach their  self actualised  state.

Passion can make or break you. Passion can make you feel invigorated, committed, focussed, connected, courageous, creative, satisfied and productive. A man can be passionate about sports and take out time every week to indulge in his passion, while keeping his boss and family happy. 

On the other hand, it can also ruin your life by being obsessed and possessed by the fire of passion. A workaholic, who doesn t go back home till 2 am and reports to office again at 10 am, he who doesn t see his children nor relaxes or does any physical activity is ensuring a quick burnout in the guise of following a passion. A harmful passion can be diagnosed easily by gauging whether it controls you or you feel in control of your life, which is about harmonious passion.

WHY  YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSION

1. Helps you unwind and relax - Zafar liked to do puzzles, crosswords and Sudoku when he started his day. It freshened him up and his mind became sharper as he looked at various permutations and combinations for the words and numbers. Daily new neural pathways were getting stronger in his brain. This exercised his left brain adequately every day. He slept well. Do remember not to do such exercises before sleeping.   

2. Expands your life - Some hobbies like travelling, cooking, collecting trivia has its own benefits. This involves physical activity and meeting up with other people. This helps a person to remain connected with society and keep active. Ram liked travelling so much that he gave up his job to become a globe trotter and tied up with a TV channel to commentate on tourist locations. He earns handsomely from his hobby. His self esteem has doubled since then.

3. Keeps your mind productively channelized - Nandini s problem was that she didn t have anything to do while the kids were away at school. She had started feeling depressed and got headaches often. She knew that she connected well with the children in the neighbourhood and had a flair for painting. She started teaching them painting in the evenings. Soon she became very busy and had no time to get bored.  She not only made new friends, she also earned the respect and awe of her community. She feels energised, happy and motivated to work while looking forward to life.

4. Success at work - Often passion has been linked to success at work. It is seen that people who are passionate, committed and hardworking often excel in their work as they have a goal to achieve. They look forward to their day and any hurdles or failures don t deter them from trying again. Neela was always passionate about becoming an IT professional. She had grown up playing with computers. Despite her family not agreeing with her choice of profession, she went ahead and burnt the midnight oil to score high in school and college. She got picked up in campus placements and today she holds a coveted position in the company. She has motivated many girls from her conservative community to study and get work.

5. Keep away illness - Having a hobby or working passionately has its own share of health benefits. People have reported higher physical and emotional immunity. They had deep and strong bonding with their community. They didn t suffer from insomnia, depression, dementia and anxiety and hope was alive in them till the end. They knew that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. 




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5 Logical Reasons You Must Never Give Up On Your Passion

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

India is all set to celebrate its 75th Independence Day on 15th August 2021. This day marks the Independence of our country from the British. So, every year the Independence Day is celebrated throughout the country with great fervour. So, this Independence Day, let's take a pledge and abide by the fact that we will take up small measures to restore our health. Below are few healthy habits that we must follow.

Freedom to be ourselves: By having the freedom to be ourselves, basically refers to the idea of having certain choices without being bound by any kind of limits, social stigma or pressure. People should have the independence to do anything that they want to do. Going deep into it, it is basically having the freedom to grow and attain the level that people want to achieve, in an unrestricted manner. This would only be possible if one is allowed to make experiments with their choices.

Constant progress towards a fulfilling life: Today s world is filled with a variety of stress. We are always in a hurry to catch up with our goals and meeting our targets. So, in pursuit of all this, there is every possibility that we might lose out to make time for ourselves and our relationships.

So, this Independence Day, we must take a pledge and abide by the fact that we will take up small measures to restore our health and rejuvenate our relationships and this constant progress will enable us to achieve something big in life. Now let us talk about certain healthy habits that we must follow in order to be free from diseases or health problems.

Healthy breakfast: A nutritious and healthy breakfast is of utmost importance as it provides us with the much-needed energy to carry out our activities throughout the day. A healthy breakfast is one which includes fruits, eggs, a portion of oats or barley to have a great mix of protein, fat, vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates
A good night s sleep: Research has shown that a sufficient sleep at night is essential towards getting an efficient mind, as it helps to bring forth improvements in cognitive skills, sharpens memory and keep gastrointestinal disorders away. Ideal sleep hours for women should be 8-9 hours and for men, 7-8 hours should be ideal.
Fluid intake is important: Drinking 8-10 liters of water every day carry great benefits for one s health and well-being. Water helps to remove toxins, makes the skin glow and people don t feel dehydrated.
Exercising daily is good for you: Staying fit and healthy in this competitive world is a must. Fitness cannot be attained only having healthy food but doing exercise on a regular basis is also essential. So make sure to make time for working on your cardio, abs, legs, chest, so that on an overall basis, you are fit and fine. Walking, jogging, cycling and doing normal free hand exercises can help in attaining good health.
Avoid long gaps in-between meals: Generally, we tend to have three big meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner. In the midst of these three, the normal gap is of 5 to 6 hours, which often leads to a drop in our blood sugar level. Ideally, which should be avoided and in place, a habit of eating something healthy after every 2 or 3 hours should be adopted.
Restore your health with a cup of Green Tea: Green Tea has great health benefits as it is filled with antioxidants, which ensures brain to function better and thus lower the chances of getting plagued by cancer. It also makes the body system free from toxins. One cup of green tea in the morning or taking it even at the end of the day is ideal. Make sure not to have more than 2-3 cups every day as it can lead to stomach problems, restlessness and insomnia.
Wash your hands frequently: A number of diseases and health ailments spread from unhygienic habits and that is something which is in our control. We should encourage people around us, such as kids, household help, relatives to wash their hands from time to time. This will help us in controlling the spread of diseases.
The above-mentioned habits are only indicative, however, there are many more that we should adapt according to our health requirements.

Independence Day Special - Let's Take A Pledge To Stay Healthy & Embrace Healthy Habits!

Do you have vague memories of your childhood where your mother used to run behind you with a glass of milk and a few almonds soaked in it? You might have cribbed about them, but all this while you might not have been aware that you were running away from one of the most powerful house of essential minerals. Such is the health benefits of almonds that it has its own fan following across the globe. It is a boon and a blessing for your well-being. Let us have an overview of it.

Health benefits Of almond oil

The health benefits are not just limited to the nuts. Almond oil too can supply a massive amount of benefits when included in our diet regularly. Though a bit expensive, a regular intake can keep many of the complications at bay. Here s why:

Controls heart ailments: Almond oil is enriched with monounsaturated fatty acids. They boost the health of your heart and can curb cardiovascular diseases. A regular intake can reduce the chance of a stroke by a large margin.
Regulates blood pressure and controls cholesterol level: Almond oil regulates blood pressure and can help in maintaining the cholesterol levels of your body. In many countries, almond oil is slowly changing the culinary landscape and the way we use the food ingredients.
Strengthens nervous system: Almond oil is a great source of Omega-3 fatty acids and also contains a robust measure of potassium. They nourish your nervous system and directly boost your memory. You can mix a few drops of almond oil to a glass of milk before you hit the bed for the best results.
Helps in bone development: Almonds are a great source of vitamin D, calcium and potassium. Needless to say, this can be very beneficial for strengthening your bones. Simply massage few drops of almond oil to your bones and joints and in many cases, you can get rid of arthritis.
Relieves stress and pain: Almond oil also has therapeutic properties, and can help in easing the pain and stress from strained muscles. You can heat a few tablespoons of almond oil and can directly massage into the affected area once it becomes warm. Doing this regularly can increase the strength of your muscles and can be a great muscle relaxant too.
Can promote the health of nails: Brittle nails are one of the common problems that everyone faces. Almond oil can take care of this trouble easily. For healthy and strong nails, massage them with a few drops of almond oil daily. They have a strong presence of potassium and zinc and they, in turn, hydrate your nails and keep them strong and healthy.
It controls heart diseases. 
It reduces the chances of stroke. 
It regulates the blood pressure. 
It gives strength to the nervous system. 
It will help in bone development.
It promotes the growth of nails.
It promotes the health of nails.
It increases the memory power.
It gives strengths to brain tissue.
Apart from the abovementioned benefits, Almonds are useful in a number of ways, they improve your memory power, improves hair growth, is good for your brain tissues. Almonds are a powerhouse in their own right, therefore, you must eat them. 

 6 Amazing Health Benefits of Almond Oil - Try Now

Top tips to help you fight anxiety

Anxiety is the latest problem affecting a majority of the population, owing to our hectic and fast-paced lifestyles. All of us are so busy in our lives that we forget to provide our mind and body with the basic care that they need in order to function effectively. Here are five useful tips to help you overcome anxiety, on a daily basis.

1. Maintain the right diet
Though it may sound like a cliche, maintaining a healthy diet on a regular basis is the key to beating anxiety. Try and consume food products rich in Vitamin b which is known to improve mental health; and Omega-3s which can effectively counter severe anxiety and depression.

2. Get adequate sleep
Not getting enough sleep not only affects your mind but has an adverse effect on your body as well. Even anxiety can result in irregular sleep patterns and thus ensure that in any situation, you manage to get six to seven hours of sleep on a daily basis.

3. Engage with people
Man is indeed a social animal. People make us happy. The hormone oxytocin significantly reduces anxiety levels and it is released during the process of socializing; thus it is essential to be in contact with your close group of people.

4. Keep your immediate environment clean
A cluttered home or workplace not only adds to physical clutter but contributes towards building up mental clutter as well. Spend a few minutes every day in keeping your immediate environment clean and organized. You are bound to feel calmer and more relaxed.

5. Indulge in breathing exercises
When your brain is tensed, your breathing pattern automatically becomes short and shallow. In order to send relaxing signals to your brain, try taking deep and long breaths and continue the process for a few minutes.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.

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5 Most Effective Ways To Drive Anxiety Out Of Your Life

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