Do you have someone who is passive-aggressive in your life? Perhaps your parents, your siblings, your partner or your friends? It can be difficult to handle such a person. When two people, who are having a healthy relationship with each other are angry with each other, they show anger, they say that they are upset, they discuss things and sort things out. There are so many different ways to express anger. But when it comes to a person with passive-aggressive behaviour, it is not going to be the same when they are angry. This is basically a way to express anger indirectly, as they are unable to or uncomfortable to express their feelings and anger openly.

They need help, and it is you who will be able to help them get out of this pain or anger. Here are six steps to changing someone's passive-aggressive behaviour:

When there is an argument going on between both of you or when one of you is angry, do not say something or do something negative. This will make them shut down completely and they will never open up. It may also happen that the situation gets worse. So, take some time and calm down.
Do not go for any guesswork. You are trying to help someone to get over his/her passive-aggressive behaviour. You need to know what they actually feel. So, ask them how they feel and if they have anything to say about it. This can help them open up.
Brainstorming can be one of the best steps. Yes, if you think that you often argue on some common point, then you need to come up with a solution for it first. Ask for their opinion, make a list of all the points and try to make it as detailed as possible.
Check out the pros and cons of your opinions. When you are done with brainstorming, you need to consider each opinion or decision you made in order to make sure that both of you are comfortable with it.
Choose a win-win situation. In other words, pick up those solutions which make both of you happy.
Execute your opinion or plan and evaluate if it is working for you. If plan A does not work for you, then you can still consider the other options that you left behind to draft a plan B.
Communication is very important and when you are able to communicate well, you will be able to get what you actually need. You should start to think that your feelings are valid and learn to enjoy how good it feels when others value your feelings. Open up and talk!

Passive Aggressive Nature - 6 Things You Can Do To Help!

Anger is a very negative emotion and can be the underlying cause of many relationships falling apart. There are people who cannot manage their anger completely and express it by yelling, throwing things, or even physically harming others. While anger is a natural emotion, it is important to control it else it can even harm one s own health. 

Research has proven that every emotion is associated with a chemical reaction in the brain. While happiness produces certain chemicals, anger produces another set, leading to a different impact on health. Therefore, it is essential to learn to control anger, so that the negative reactions can be controlled. The following are some simple but effective ways to manage your temper:

Take a pause: It is a known fact that what is said in the heat of the moment can be very damaging. The person s response may be completely different if they speak after a while. Some people even would ask if it was indeed them who spoke or did that. Therefore, learn to count to ten or take deep breaths when you know you are angry. This can help you gather your thoughts and respond more aptly.
Be assertive: Learn to respond without sounding argumentative, at the same time being assertive. Do not try to control others when trying to make your point.
Regular timeout: For some people, there are periods of the day which prove to be more stressful than the others. Even a simple walk for 10 to 15 minutes can improve your oxygen intake and aid in anger management.
Nurture your sense of humor: While not all would have it, it is definitely possible to look at the funny side of things. This definitely helps in not just easing the stress and reducing tension for all, but also reduces the anger you feel towards a particular situation or person.
Relaxation techniques: Be it meditation or yoga, these help you relax by focusing on the breathing. Even exercise, writing poems or stories, singing songs, or listening to music can help in reducing stress and controlling anger.
Professional help: While it may sound a bit too far-fetched, it is not. If the above self-help measures do not help in managing your anger, and you realize it is taking a toll on your health and/or relationships, seek professional help. With changing life situations, anger management has become a separate area in itself, and with some help, you could greatly change your quality of life.
Rewards: Reward yourself each time you control your anger and respond in a calmer manner. Over a period of time, this induced habit will become your normal response.

7 Best Tips To Help You Manage Anger!

If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

Borderline personality disorder is connected with the mental health of the patient and is usually seen in the way the patient perceives himself or herself. This has a deep impact on the brain and overall functioning of the patient. It leads to problems in the personal life and relationships of the patient. These problems are usually triggered by a fear of abandonment. Let us explore the signs and symptoms of this condition to understand it in a better manner:

1. Discouraging Attitude: One of the earliest signs of this disorder includes having an attitude that is very discouraging. This attitude may remain limited to the patient or may extend to the people around him or her.

2. Self-Identity: This disorder has a marked impact on the self-identity of the patient. There is usually a rapid decline in the way the patient may view himself or herself. A self-deprecating attitude will usually be seen among patients suffering from this condition, where the self-esteem hits an all-time low along with low self-confidence.

3. Relationships: Whether it the patient's personal relationships, family, friends or work based relationships, there will be a sharp decline in the quality of interactions that the patient indulges in, due to this disorder. The interactions and dynamics of all relationships will usually take on an intense turn as the patient will have varied unfounded concerns that come from the fear of abandonment. This usually stems from some form of childhood trauma triggered by parental separation or loss.

4. Impulsive Behavior: Patients suffering from this disorder will also display impulsive behavior that may lead to gambling, and other risky behavior. This kind of behavior can usually lead to accidents and losses as well as further lowering of the sense of self-esteem that the patient may experience. Also, abuse and binge eating are some of the symptoms of this kind of behavior.

5. Suicidal threats: There may be threats of suicide by patients who are suffering from this disorder. This usually happens because most of these patients end up feeling lost and empty, which makes them think that their life and all its activities are completely futile. If you happen to meet someone who consistently talks about how useless he or she is and how nothing in life seems to have a purpose, then you may want to recommend this person to a psychiatrist as these are the earliest signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

6. Mood swings: The patient will also suffer from intense mood swings. These could last up to several days and even weeks. These mood swings could go from happiness to severe anxiety and even shame.

Signs and Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Many of us feel anger, frustration and dissatisfaction in our daily lives. While medicine and therapy can help extreme cases, there are other ways to bring down the symptoms with a proper daily routine, diet and exercise. Exercise can be an incredible treatment to discharge those sentiments. In case you wind up getting angry regularly, yoga can help you to deal with the problem while you are away or at home. Yoga can help with both managing anger and calming you down when you feel particularly furious at any given point. Some of the asanas or postures that help in doing so are as follows:

Savasana (cadaver posture): With the cadaver posture, you lie on your back with your palms up and arms next to you. At that point, you relax every part of your body. While practicing this posture, concentrate on relaxing. Inhale deeply into your tummy. It is best to shut your eyes while doing so.
Sheetali Pranayama (cooling breath): The cooling breathing exercise is a phenomenal approach to address anger. You basically roll your tongue (twisting in the edges) or press your lips together. In case you cannot roll your tongue, breathe in gradually through your mouth so that the air gets in through your tongue. At that point, close your mouth and breathe out through your nose. This practice is believed to lessen the anger and enhance peace of mind.
Ardha matsyendrasana (half spinal twist pose): This posture strengthens the organs and relaxes your spine. You can perform this exercise by sitting with both legs in front of you, and then by folding one knee up while folding the other on the ground underneath the other leg. You then turn your spine toward the side where the knee is up and use the knee as a rest for your arm as you stretch into the stance. Try not to exhaust yourself. In case you feel pain, relax a bit.
Urdhva dhanurasana (upward bow pose): This stance has been efficient in increasing trust between people with threatening or serious identity issues, and decreases anger. While there are a few approaches to accomplish a back curve in yoga, the upward bow stance is the most widely recognized due to the back twists that lead to better circulation of energy.
Salamba sarvangasana (shoulder stand): It can balance out the nervous system. People who deal with anger issues or who have an antagonistic identity will find that this asana helps in lessening their outrage and anger. It creates quality and adaptability and helps the thyroid and parathyroid organs as well.
Doing yoga frequently will go far towards helping you deal with your anger in the long haul. In case you have an identity issue, exercising consistently will strengthen the mind. However, you might need to go to a class keeping in mind the end goal, which is to manage the anger.

Anger Management - 5 Yoga Asanas That Can Help You!

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