Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

Borderline personality disorder is connected with the mental health of the patient and is usually seen in the way the patient perceives himself or herself. This has a deep impact on the brain and overall functioning of the patient. It leads to problems in the personal life and relationships of the patient. These problems are usually triggered by a fear of abandonment. Let us explore the signs and symptoms of this condition to understand it in a better manner:

1. Discouraging Attitude: One of the earliest signs of this disorder includes having an attitude that is very discouraging. This attitude may remain limited to the patient or may extend to the people around him or her.

2. Self-Identity: This disorder has a marked impact on the self-identity of the patient. There is usually a rapid decline in the way the patient may view himself or herself. A self-deprecating attitude will usually be seen among patients suffering from this condition, where the self-esteem hits an all-time low along with low self-confidence.

3. Relationships: Whether it the patient's personal relationships, family, friends or work based relationships, there will be a sharp decline in the quality of interactions that the patient indulges in, due to this disorder. The interactions and dynamics of all relationships will usually take on an intense turn as the patient will have varied unfounded concerns that come from the fear of abandonment. This usually stems from some form of childhood trauma triggered by parental separation or loss.

4. Impulsive Behavior: Patients suffering from this disorder will also display impulsive behavior that may lead to gambling, and other risky behavior. This kind of behavior can usually lead to accidents and losses as well as further lowering of the sense of self-esteem that the patient may experience. Also, abuse and binge eating are some of the symptoms of this kind of behavior.

5. Suicidal threats: There may be threats of suicide by patients who are suffering from this disorder. This usually happens because most of these patients end up feeling lost and empty, which makes them think that their life and all its activities are completely futile. If you happen to meet someone who consistently talks about how useless he or she is and how nothing in life seems to have a purpose, then you may want to recommend this person to a psychiatrist as these are the earliest signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

6. Mood swings: The patient will also suffer from intense mood swings. These could last up to several days and even weeks. These mood swings could go from happiness to severe anxiety and even shame.

Signs and Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

You might think, as a parent, that if you behave strictly then your child will become well-behaved. But research and studies have shown that the opposite happens. Strict parenting leads to children who behave worse than others and they suffer from low self-esteem.

Some other reasons why being strict is harmful:

Never learning self-regulation: Responsibility and self-discipline have to be learned by the children themselves. When you put harsh limits on them, they never learn self-regulation. If they think the limits don t sound too harsh, they will learn to accept them. But the limits placed on them should never be controlling. If this happens, children see themselves as being controlled and no one enjoys being controlled.
Instilling fear: If you are being authoritarian (parenting in which there are high demands and low sympathy) instead of empathetic, then your children will become scared of you. You are instilling the power of fear in them. This triggers a vicious chain of events. When you yell, they will yell as well.
Anger and depression: Authoritarian parenting often leads to children believing a part of them is unacceptable. They feel that their parents would not understand. It makes them susceptible to anger management issues and depression.
Blindly obeying those in power: Children raised up in strict households start thinking power is always right. They learn to obey blindly. This makes them vulnerable to peer pressure. They also never learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Rebelling: Children tend to be angrier and become rebellious when they have strict parents. The need to break free and not conform to the non-empathetic limits that forces them to act out. They might even nurture thoughts about leaving home and running away.
Lying: Strict parenting creates excellent liars. Children learn to lie when they are in trouble. They think lies will placate their parents and they can get away with anything.
Damage to parent-child relationship: If you are strict and you don t change your authoritarian ways, then it damages your relationship with your children. Natural empathy is lacking in strict parents. You don t understand your child, and your child doesn t feel like sharing their lives with you. It creates a divide between the parent and child. Children never quite get over this as they grow older.

Being a Strict Parent Can be Harmful for Your Kids - 7 Reasons Prove it

Anger and temperamental issues are a very common part of a person s identity. It is there from birth and is thought to mirror the hereditary qualities. It can be permanently present or could be triggered in certain situations. Some people have a hot temperament than others. However, there are a few ways with which temperamental issues can be dealt with effectively. These are as follows:

Psychotherapy

Individual or group therapy sessions can be useful. A commonly utilised sort of treatment, psychological behavioural treatment treats people or groups with discontinuous unstable issues.
Distinguish which circumstances or practices may trigger a forceful reaction
Figure out how to overcome anger and control wrong reactions utilising procedures, for example, relaxing preparing, re-thinking circumstances (psychological rebuilding) and learning adapting attitudes.
Medicine
Distinctive types of medications may help in the treatment of temperamentally unstable issues. These medicines may incorporate certain antidepressants (particularly specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs), anticonvulsant mind-set stabilisers or different medications if necessary.

Controlling your outrage
Some portion of your treatment may include:

Unlearning issue conduct.
Adapting admirably to anger.
Rehearsing the systems you learn in treatment to help you perceive what triggers your fits and outrage and how to react in ways that work for you rather than against you.
Building up an arrangement. Work with your specialist to build up an arrangement of activity for when you feel yourself getting irate. For instance, in case that you think you may lose control; try to expel yourself from that circumstance. Go for a walk or call a trusted friend to attempt to quiet down.
Dodging liquor and other substance use. These substances can build forcefulness and the danger of harmful temperamental outrages.
Consider taking these actions before a crisis emerges:

Call someone at home or someone you trust for help and guidance.
Keep all guns away or covered up. Try not to give the abuser the key or use the gun.
Gather a crisis pack that includes things you will require when you leave, for example, additional garments, keys, individual papers, medicines and cash. Conceal it or leave the pack with a trusted friend or neighbour. Try to go away from the situation so hat you do not do something regrettable.
Educate a trusted neighbour or friend regarding your condition so that he or she can call for help if needed.
Know where you will go and how you will arrive back in case that you feel angry, regardless of the possibility that it implies you need to leave during the night. You might need to work on escaping your home securely.
Decide on a code word or visual flag that implies you require the police and tell it to your friends, family or your children.

Temperamental Issues - How To Deal With Them Effectively?

Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental disorder with side effects of enthusiastic fits like sudden, wild and eccentric emotional episodes and scenes. Individuals experiencing BPD are unreliable about their picture and character and face trouble in keeping up a steady mental self-image and interpersonal connections. This issue is generally acquired by different variables like domestic mishandle, youth disregard and absence of affection from the parents in there young age.

Some of the most common symptoms of BPD include:

Fear of rejection
Unsteady and short-term relationships
Poor self-image
Tendency to cause self-harm
Here are some of the homeopathic solutions for treating BPD with varying signs and symptoms:

BPD with sudden burst of outrage: Chamomilla is among the top common homeopathic medications for patients of BPD who usually get furious and irritated, without considering the sentiments of the other people. The sudden upheavals of outrage on account of inconsistency or when the sentiments are harmed can be best cured by homeopathic solution Chamomilla. This cure is also of great help to patients who believe that they cannot remain calm. It is useful for the people who need to do everything according to their desire and get irritated if their desire is not satisfied.
BPD with sudden emotional episodes: Crocus Sativus is the most basic homeopathic medication for sudden mind-set changes in patients of BPD. The patient has a sudden and regular change in feelings from outrageous reactions to misery. The patient requiring the homeopathic drug Crocus Sativus is blissful and warm in one minute and the very next minute, he or she suddenly blasts out into outrage. The patient soon feels frustrated about their conduct. Homeopathic medicine Valeriana is additionally useful for managing sudden emotional episodes in patients of BPD.
BPD with symptoms of touchiness: Sepia is a fantastic homeopathic drug for BPD patients who get disturbed over no reason and feel anxious. Just their own particular assessment matters for such patients and they cannot stand to be restricted. Another side effect alongside fractiousness for this homeopathic prescription to be used is a feeling of dislike towards family and being repelled for any work, be it mental or physical.
BPD patients with ruinous and hasty conduct: Nux Vomica is the top characteristic homeopathic solution to manage any hasty conduct of BPD patients who are delicate and need to constrain things as they feel. In case they are restricted, such patients have dangerous driving forces like the motivation to crush their significant other, to tear things and to toss their child. If someone invades their space, they can take severe actions to claim that space back.

Borderline Personality Disorder - When To Seek Help?

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