Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

6 Easy ways to not let your anger get the better of you

Although a natural emotion, anger needs to be managed at all times so that it doesn’t get out of control and cause problems in your life. Whether at home, work or in your relationships, uncontrolled anger can affect your general life quality. However, controlling your anger comes with the benefit of improving your overall health, while reducing stress levels. 

Here are some of the ways that you could learn to gain control on your temper:

1. Practice deep breathing
Instead of allowing your anger to get out of control, every time you start feeling angry, get down to practicing some simple breathing techniques to calm your tense body and mind. Here’s what you should do when enraged:
- Take slow, but deep breaths to counteract the stress reaction that usually accompanies anger
- Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase, which could be “relax”, “take it easy” or “I am in control of my anger”
- Work on your muscles by tightening and then relaxing them

2. Count from 1 to 100 or 100 to 1
Counting numbers can prevent you from flying off the handle. It takes your mind away from the cause of your anger and prevents you from mulling over the situation. The act of counting also provides you with the time to delay the impulsive behaviour that often follows the emotion. You can even make this more effective by breathing in slowly and deeply whenever you start on a 
new number. 

3. Focus on the present
Whenever you’re angry, don’t look back at the past. By doing so, you may end up bringing past grievances into your present situation, while holding others responsible for feeling how and what you feel. Instead focus your attention on what you can do in the present to work out the issue. 

4. Relax tight muscles
Another tip that can help you to cool down fast is a gentle massage of the areas of tension, which are usually the shoulders, neck and scalp. For the shoulders, simply rotate them to relax tight muscles. To release the tension that gets built up in your neck and head region, perform a simple scalp massage to improve blood circulation and consequently, relax your mind. 

5. Listen to music
Listening to music can soothe frayed nerves and calm you down. It works by helping you to sieve through the feelings of anger and disappointment in a constructive manner.  

6. Change of situation
Taking yourself away from the source of anger, whether it’s the place or the person concerned, is an anger management skill that you can use to calm yourself. To do this, you can either close your eyes and transport yourself to a quiet and peaceful place or simply walk away to let your anger fizzle out. 



6 Doable Ways to Control Your ANGER and Not Let it Control You!

Do you have someone who is passive-aggressive in your life? Perhaps your parents, your siblings, your partner or your friends? It can be difficult to handle such a person. When two people, who are having a healthy relationship with each other are angry with each other, they show anger, they say that they are upset, they discuss things and sort things out. There are so many different ways to express anger. But when it comes to a person with passive-aggressive behaviour, it is not going to be the same when they are angry. This is basically a way to express anger indirectly, as they are unable to or uncomfortable to express their feelings and anger openly.

They need help, and it is you who will be able to help them get out of this pain or anger. Here are six steps to changing someone's passive-aggressive behaviour:

When there is an argument going on between both of you or when one of you is angry, do not say something or do something negative. This will make them shut down completely and they will never open up. It may also happen that the situation gets worse. So, take some time and calm down.
Do not go for any guesswork. You are trying to help someone to get over his/her passive-aggressive behaviour. You need to know what they actually feel. So, ask them how they feel and if they have anything to say about it. This can help them open up.
Brainstorming can be one of the best steps. Yes, if you think that you often argue on some common point, then you need to come up with a solution for it first. Ask for their opinion, make a list of all the points and try to make it as detailed as possible.
Check out the pros and cons of your opinions. When you are done with brainstorming, you need to consider each opinion or decision you made in order to make sure that both of you are comfortable with it.
Choose a win-win situation. In other words, pick up those solutions which make both of you happy.
Execute your opinion or plan and evaluate if it is working for you. If plan A does not work for you, then you can still consider the other options that you left behind to draft a plan B.
Communication is very important and when you are able to communicate well, you will be able to get what you actually need. You should start to think that your feelings are valid and learn to enjoy how good it feels when others value your feelings. Open up and talk!

Passive Aggressive Nature - 6 Things You Can Do To Help!

Anger and temperamental issues are a very common part of a person s identity. It is there from birth and is thought to mirror the hereditary qualities. It can be permanently present or could be triggered in certain situations. Some people have a hot temperament than others. However, there are a few ways with which temperamental issues can be dealt with effectively. These are as follows:

Psychotherapy

Individual or group therapy sessions can be useful. A commonly utilised sort of treatment, psychological behavioural treatment treats people or groups with discontinuous unstable issues.
Distinguish which circumstances or practices may trigger a forceful reaction
Figure out how to overcome anger and control wrong reactions utilising procedures, for example, relaxing preparing, re-thinking circumstances (psychological rebuilding) and learning adapting attitudes.
Medicine
Distinctive types of medications may help in the treatment of temperamentally unstable issues. These medicines may incorporate certain antidepressants (particularly specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs), anticonvulsant mind-set stabilisers or different medications if necessary.

Controlling your outrage
Some portion of your treatment may include:

Unlearning issue conduct.
Adapting admirably to anger.
Rehearsing the systems you learn in treatment to help you perceive what triggers your fits and outrage and how to react in ways that work for you rather than against you.
Building up an arrangement. Work with your specialist to build up an arrangement of activity for when you feel yourself getting irate. For instance, in case that you think you may lose control; try to expel yourself from that circumstance. Go for a walk or call a trusted friend to attempt to quiet down.
Dodging liquor and other substance use. These substances can build forcefulness and the danger of harmful temperamental outrages.
Consider taking these actions before a crisis emerges:

Call someone at home or someone you trust for help and guidance.
Keep all guns away or covered up. Try not to give the abuser the key or use the gun.
Gather a crisis pack that includes things you will require when you leave, for example, additional garments, keys, individual papers, medicines and cash. Conceal it or leave the pack with a trusted friend or neighbour. Try to go away from the situation so hat you do not do something regrettable.
Educate a trusted neighbour or friend regarding your condition so that he or she can call for help if needed.
Know where you will go and how you will arrive back in case that you feel angry, regardless of the possibility that it implies you need to leave during the night. You might need to work on escaping your home securely.
Decide on a code word or visual flag that implies you require the police and tell it to your friends, family or your children.

Temperamental Issues - How To Deal With Them Effectively?

Like everyone else, teenagers are susceptible to anger. When this gets out of control, it can lead to problems at school as well as at home. One of the major reasons for this is that teenagers do not know how to channel their anger and control it. When teaching teenagers how to manage their anger, it is important to understand that each child is different and will respond to anger differently. Here are a few tips that could help.

Recognize triggers and warning signs: Most anger outbursts are triggered by common factors. This could include feeling disrespected, feeling misunderstood, being refused permission or something or feeling as though too much were expected. It is important for teenagers to recognize these triggers so that they can deal with them in a better way. An anger outburst is also often preceded by certain physiological changes. For example, a person s breath could quicken or they may begin to clench their muscles before getting angry. Recognizing these early signs can help teens control their anger and not allow the situation to escalate.
Develop a vocabulary: Most teenagers throw tantrums and slam doors because they do not have words to express their anger and end up getting more and more frustrated with themselves and the situation. Hence, help your teenager develop a vocabulary to express what he or she may be feeling. This could include words like angry, mad, furious, irritated, tense, apprehensive, etc. Encourage them to talk out their anger instead of letting it simmer inside them. When your child does say things like  you re making me angry  etc do not immediately discipline him but instead talk it out. They may also be encouraged to write out their anger or find other creative outlets for it.
Deep breathing: Deep breathing is an anger management technique that helps adults and children alike. Teach your child how to take a few deep breaths before lashing out at someone. Show your child how to inhale slowly, hold the breath and exhale slowly while counting to five. This can help him or her calm down and handle the situation in a better way.
1+3+10: This is a golden rule of anger management. When your teen feels angry he or she needs to tell himself or herself to calm down. This is step 1. Next, they should take 3 deep breaths. This should be followed by counting to ten slowly. This can help them gain control of the situation and prevent an anger outburst.
The above mentioned tips can help in anger management of teen. However, if the condition seems out of control, you can always seek professional help to deal with the situation.

How To Handle Angry Teenagers?

You might think, as a parent, that if you behave strictly then your child will become well-behaved. But research and studies have shown that the opposite happens. Strict parenting leads to children who behave worse than others and they suffer from low self-esteem.

Some other reasons why being strict is harmful:

Never learning self-regulation: Responsibility and self-discipline have to be learned by the children themselves. When you put harsh limits on them, they never learn self-regulation. If they think the limits don t sound too harsh, they will learn to accept them. But the limits placed on them should never be controlling. If this happens, children see themselves as being controlled and no one enjoys being controlled.
Instilling fear: If you are being authoritarian (parenting in which there are high demands and low sympathy) instead of empathetic, then your children will become scared of you. You are instilling the power of fear in them. This triggers a vicious chain of events. When you yell, they will yell as well.
Anger and depression: Authoritarian parenting often leads to children believing a part of them is unacceptable. They feel that their parents would not understand. It makes them susceptible to anger management issues and depression.
Blindly obeying those in power: Children raised up in strict households start thinking power is always right. They learn to obey blindly. This makes them vulnerable to peer pressure. They also never learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Rebelling: Children tend to be angrier and become rebellious when they have strict parents. The need to break free and not conform to the non-empathetic limits that forces them to act out. They might even nurture thoughts about leaving home and running away.
Lying: Strict parenting creates excellent liars. Children learn to lie when they are in trouble. They think lies will placate their parents and they can get away with anything.
Damage to parent-child relationship: If you are strict and you don t change your authoritarian ways, then it damages your relationship with your children. Natural empathy is lacking in strict parents. You don t understand your child, and your child doesn t feel like sharing their lives with you. It creates a divide between the parent and child. Children never quite get over this as they grow older.

Being a Strict Parent Can be Harmful for Your Kids - 7 Reasons Prove it

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