Do you have someone who is passive-aggressive in your life? Perhaps your parents, your siblings, your partner or your friends? It can be difficult to handle such a person. When two people, who are having a healthy relationship with each other are angry with each other, they show anger, they say that they are upset, they discuss things and sort things out. There are so many different ways to express anger. But when it comes to a person with passive-aggressive behaviour, it is not going to be the same when they are angry. This is basically a way to express anger indirectly, as they are unable to or uncomfortable to express their feelings and anger openly.

They need help, and it is you who will be able to help them get out of this pain or anger. Here are six steps to changing someone's passive-aggressive behaviour:

When there is an argument going on between both of you or when one of you is angry, do not say something or do something negative. This will make them shut down completely and they will never open up. It may also happen that the situation gets worse. So, take some time and calm down.
Do not go for any guesswork. You are trying to help someone to get over his/her passive-aggressive behaviour. You need to know what they actually feel. So, ask them how they feel and if they have anything to say about it. This can help them open up.
Brainstorming can be one of the best steps. Yes, if you think that you often argue on some common point, then you need to come up with a solution for it first. Ask for their opinion, make a list of all the points and try to make it as detailed as possible.
Check out the pros and cons of your opinions. When you are done with brainstorming, you need to consider each opinion or decision you made in order to make sure that both of you are comfortable with it.
Choose a win-win situation. In other words, pick up those solutions which make both of you happy.
Execute your opinion or plan and evaluate if it is working for you. If plan A does not work for you, then you can still consider the other options that you left behind to draft a plan B.
Communication is very important and when you are able to communicate well, you will be able to get what you actually need. You should start to think that your feelings are valid and learn to enjoy how good it feels when others value your feelings. Open up and talk!

Passive Aggressive Nature - 6 Things You Can Do To Help!

6 Easy ways to not let your anger get the better of you

Although a natural emotion, anger needs to be managed at all times so that it doesn’t get out of control and cause problems in your life. Whether at home, work or in your relationships, uncontrolled anger can affect your general life quality. However, controlling your anger comes with the benefit of improving your overall health, while reducing stress levels. 

Here are some of the ways that you could learn to gain control on your temper:

1. Practice deep breathing
Instead of allowing your anger to get out of control, every time you start feeling angry, get down to practicing some simple breathing techniques to calm your tense body and mind. Here’s what you should do when enraged:
- Take slow, but deep breaths to counteract the stress reaction that usually accompanies anger
- Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase, which could be “relax”, “take it easy” or “I am in control of my anger”
- Work on your muscles by tightening and then relaxing them

2. Count from 1 to 100 or 100 to 1
Counting numbers can prevent you from flying off the handle. It takes your mind away from the cause of your anger and prevents you from mulling over the situation. The act of counting also provides you with the time to delay the impulsive behaviour that often follows the emotion. You can even make this more effective by breathing in slowly and deeply whenever you start on a 
new number. 

3. Focus on the present
Whenever you’re angry, don’t look back at the past. By doing so, you may end up bringing past grievances into your present situation, while holding others responsible for feeling how and what you feel. Instead focus your attention on what you can do in the present to work out the issue. 

4. Relax tight muscles
Another tip that can help you to cool down fast is a gentle massage of the areas of tension, which are usually the shoulders, neck and scalp. For the shoulders, simply rotate them to relax tight muscles. To release the tension that gets built up in your neck and head region, perform a simple scalp massage to improve blood circulation and consequently, relax your mind. 

5. Listen to music
Listening to music can soothe frayed nerves and calm you down. It works by helping you to sieve through the feelings of anger and disappointment in a constructive manner.  

6. Change of situation
Taking yourself away from the source of anger, whether it’s the place or the person concerned, is an anger management skill that you can use to calm yourself. To do this, you can either close your eyes and transport yourself to a quiet and peaceful place or simply walk away to let your anger fizzle out. 



6 Doable Ways to Control Your ANGER and Not Let it Control You!

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

Like everyone else, teenagers are susceptible to anger. When this gets out of control, it can lead to problems at school as well as at home. One of the major reasons for this is that teenagers do not know how to channel their anger and control it. When teaching teenagers how to manage their anger, it is important to understand that each child is different and will respond to anger differently. Here are a few tips that could help.

Recognize triggers and warning signs: Most anger outbursts are triggered by common factors. This could include feeling disrespected, feeling misunderstood, being refused permission or something or feeling as though too much were expected. It is important for teenagers to recognize these triggers so that they can deal with them in a better way. An anger outburst is also often preceded by certain physiological changes. For example, a person s breath could quicken or they may begin to clench their muscles before getting angry. Recognizing these early signs can help teens control their anger and not allow the situation to escalate.
Develop a vocabulary: Most teenagers throw tantrums and slam doors because they do not have words to express their anger and end up getting more and more frustrated with themselves and the situation. Hence, help your teenager develop a vocabulary to express what he or she may be feeling. This could include words like angry, mad, furious, irritated, tense, apprehensive, etc. Encourage them to talk out their anger instead of letting it simmer inside them. When your child does say things like  you re making me angry  etc do not immediately discipline him but instead talk it out. They may also be encouraged to write out their anger or find other creative outlets for it.
Deep breathing: Deep breathing is an anger management technique that helps adults and children alike. Teach your child how to take a few deep breaths before lashing out at someone. Show your child how to inhale slowly, hold the breath and exhale slowly while counting to five. This can help him or her calm down and handle the situation in a better way.
1+3+10: This is a golden rule of anger management. When your teen feels angry he or she needs to tell himself or herself to calm down. This is step 1. Next, they should take 3 deep breaths. This should be followed by counting to ten slowly. This can help them gain control of the situation and prevent an anger outburst.
The above mentioned tips can help in anger management of teen. However, if the condition seems out of control, you can always seek professional help to deal with the situation.

How To Handle Angry Teenagers?

Anger is a type of feeling whereas aggression is a type of behaviour. However, the two are frequently confused with each other. At different times individuals use their anger as a reason to act in an aggressive way. Here are a few differences between anger and aggression:

Anger is an acceptable feeling simply like bliss or sadness. Everybody feels angry once in a while. However, numerous individuals deny that they ever feel angry. For others, they have a tendency to wind up being angry to conceal different sentiments and emotions, for example, hurt and sadness. Angry sentiments can discharge endorphins, which are very powerful chemicals inside the body. This rush of energy can help individuals to alleviate themselves from feeling sad or hurt. Nonetheless, covering these very basic and fundamental feelings with anger is not a sound and healthy coping mechanism. Feeling angry is all right, however, the practice that people show when they feel angry may fall into the category of aggression. Anger is a very normal and typical feeling.

Aggression, on the other hand, is a decision. Just because you feel angry and furious does not give you the authorization to treat others poorly. Forceful practices tend to scare the other individual into doing something whether they need to or not. At the point when individuals carry on forcefully, they do not recognise the other individual's sentiments or necessities. Rather, they want the other individual to give in. There are a bunch of approaches to carry on aggressively and it might turn out to be physically injurious. Verbal types of aggression involve making threats or demands. It might incorporate verbally abusing or putting the other individual down. Physical types of aggression may incorporate tossing things, breaking things, hammering things, or physical assaults.

Aggressive conduct can be separated into different classes. These include instrumental aggression and receptive aggression. Instrumental aggression is objective guided aggression in which harm to another is not the essential objective, despite the fact that it can be an optional consequence of the activity. Another sort of aggression is called responsive aggression. Once in a while, it is referred to as hostile aggression. Responsive aggression is conduct that has harm as its primary and in some cases secondary objective. As a rule, this activity is because of an apparent unfairness, insult, or wrongdoing.

Anger is an impermanent emotional state brought on by disappointment and frustration. Aggression, on the other hand, is a regular attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property. In evaluating the conduct, try to make out the difference between anger and aggression that demonstrates emotional issues so as to lead a more normal and well-adjusted life. One can also take the help of anger management or therapy for better evaluation of the source of anger and its surrounding feelings. 

How to Differentiate Between Anger and Aggression?

Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger

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