Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

Anger is an emotion found in every human being. There is nothing wrong with being angry. However, if it gets out of hand there might be serious consequences. Knowing a few things about anger management might help the next time you are struggling to manage anger. 

The Wrong Approach
Before knowing, what are the right things to do, it is necessary to know what doesn t work well. This will give a better insight on anger management. 

Often, we think suppressing anger might be the right thing to do. But, it is not. Trying not to react to a situation and keeping it under wraps, might affect your health and can even be the root cause of heart disease. However, suppressing it often lessens the intensity of the anger.
Just like suppressing it is not a good idea, venting it out completely is not the right approach as well. Venting might help you to cool down faster later on, but initially, it might hurt the other person and also have a negative impact on health. Venting anger occasionally will also make the person aggressive in nature.
Thinking or using words like always, never, should/shouldn t, must/mustn t do not usually help. Thinking about  he should never talk to me like that  or  they are always being unfair to me , brings about negativity and doesn t help in calming down.
The Right Approach

Counting to 10, the age old approach to anger management often helps in cooling down and giving a clear perspective. When we are angry, we end up saying and doing things we don t mean to. Counting gives us some time and helps us calm down a bit.
Breathe slowly when you are angry, say experts.  Instead of talking or reacting to the situation, just breathe in and out slowly. When you breathe out more, your body will calm down and make you relax.
Talk to someone who understands you when you are angry. Instead of venting out or suppressing it, talk it out with a friend or a family member. Tell them your feelings and why you are angry. This will help you a lot in relaxing. It works as a counselling session.
To manage anger, in the long run, one should always lead a healthy lifestyle. It means not just having a healthy diet, but also having proper sleep, not being stressed about anything, doing exercise, etc. 
Doing something creative often takes your mind away from angry feelings. Join a dance class, an art workshop, start keeping a journal, it will definitely help in the long run.
Leave the place immediately for few moments and drink water slowly when angry. Don't prolong the anger, come back and start conversation normally.

Anger Management - What Works and What Doesn't

Many of us feel anger, frustration and dissatisfaction in our daily lives. While medicine and therapy can help extreme cases, there are other ways to bring down the symptoms with a proper daily routine, diet and exercise. Exercise can be an incredible treatment to discharge those sentiments. In case you wind up getting angry regularly, yoga can help you to deal with the problem while you are away or at home. Yoga can help with both managing anger and calming you down when you feel particularly furious at any given point. Some of the asanas or postures that help in doing so are as follows:

Savasana (cadaver posture): With the cadaver posture, you lie on your back with your palms up and arms next to you. At that point, you relax every part of your body. While practicing this posture, concentrate on relaxing. Inhale deeply into your tummy. It is best to shut your eyes while doing so.
Sheetali Pranayama (cooling breath): The cooling breathing exercise is a phenomenal approach to address anger. You basically roll your tongue (twisting in the edges) or press your lips together. In case you cannot roll your tongue, breathe in gradually through your mouth so that the air gets in through your tongue. At that point, close your mouth and breathe out through your nose. This practice is believed to lessen the anger and enhance peace of mind.
Ardha matsyendrasana (half spinal twist pose): This posture strengthens the organs and relaxes your spine. You can perform this exercise by sitting with both legs in front of you, and then by folding one knee up while folding the other on the ground underneath the other leg. You then turn your spine toward the side where the knee is up and use the knee as a rest for your arm as you stretch into the stance. Try not to exhaust yourself. In case you feel pain, relax a bit.
Urdhva dhanurasana (upward bow pose): This stance has been efficient in increasing trust between people with threatening or serious identity issues, and decreases anger. While there are a few approaches to accomplish a back curve in yoga, the upward bow stance is the most widely recognized due to the back twists that lead to better circulation of energy.
Salamba sarvangasana (shoulder stand): It can balance out the nervous system. People who deal with anger issues or who have an antagonistic identity will find that this asana helps in lessening their outrage and anger. It creates quality and adaptability and helps the thyroid and parathyroid organs as well.
Doing yoga frequently will go far towards helping you deal with your anger in the long haul. In case you have an identity issue, exercising consistently will strengthen the mind. However, you might need to go to a class keeping in mind the end goal, which is to manage the anger.

Anger Management - 5 Yoga Asanas That Can Help You!

You might think, as a parent, that if you behave strictly then your child will become well-behaved. But research and studies have shown that the opposite happens. Strict parenting leads to children who behave worse than others and they suffer from low self-esteem.

Some other reasons why being strict is harmful:

Never learning self-regulation: Responsibility and self-discipline have to be learned by the children themselves. When you put harsh limits on them, they never learn self-regulation. If they think the limits don t sound too harsh, they will learn to accept them. But the limits placed on them should never be controlling. If this happens, children see themselves as being controlled and no one enjoys being controlled.
Instilling fear: If you are being authoritarian (parenting in which there are high demands and low sympathy) instead of empathetic, then your children will become scared of you. You are instilling the power of fear in them. This triggers a vicious chain of events. When you yell, they will yell as well.
Anger and depression: Authoritarian parenting often leads to children believing a part of them is unacceptable. They feel that their parents would not understand. It makes them susceptible to anger management issues and depression.
Blindly obeying those in power: Children raised up in strict households start thinking power is always right. They learn to obey blindly. This makes them vulnerable to peer pressure. They also never learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Rebelling: Children tend to be angrier and become rebellious when they have strict parents. The need to break free and not conform to the non-empathetic limits that forces them to act out. They might even nurture thoughts about leaving home and running away.
Lying: Strict parenting creates excellent liars. Children learn to lie when they are in trouble. They think lies will placate their parents and they can get away with anything.
Damage to parent-child relationship: If you are strict and you don t change your authoritarian ways, then it damages your relationship with your children. Natural empathy is lacking in strict parents. You don t understand your child, and your child doesn t feel like sharing their lives with you. It creates a divide between the parent and child. Children never quite get over this as they grow older.

Being a Strict Parent Can be Harmful for Your Kids - 7 Reasons Prove it

Do you get angry easily? Do you fume when something goes against your wish? Does your blood pressure rocket when someone tells you something that you don't like? Anger is a normal emotion of human psychology, but it is equally important to keep your anger under control. Just like any other emotion, anger too varies from person to person, and the circumstances. Uncontrolled anger can lead to mental and physical stress. It also causes stress on relationships and damages your health. Therefore, it is important to practice anger management exercises to control such extremes of emotions.

Here are some of the anger management tips that can help you control your anger:

1. Think before you speak: We often say something out of anger and then regret it later. This is a common condition that has been faced by almost everyone at some point of time. Do not say things abruptly without thinking. Always take your time and think over what you are about to say.

2. Express your anger once you are calm: Do not say things at the heat of the moment. Once you calm down, express your views on things that are bothering you. This will help you express better without hurting anyone.

3. Exercise: Regular exercise is one of the best tools to reduce stress. Light meditative exercises performed on a regular basis such as a morning jog or deep breathing can control your anger to a great extent.

4. Identify the specific cause: Instead of being grumpy about things that make you angry, try to find out the root cause of the issue and eliminate it, so that you don't have to face it again. Remind yourself that anger won't solve the problem and can only make situations worse.

5. Hold no grudge: Holding on to the negative feelings can only have a negative impact on your own health. Learn to forgive others. Forgiving not only keeps the relationship healthy, but also keeps you away from stress and negative emotions.

6. Practice relaxation tactics: When your temper reaches its height, put your relaxation tactics in action. A few tactics like deep breathing or repeating words to yourself like "Take it easy" or "Calm down" can actually calm you down during critical situations.

7.  Take a timeout: Take short breaks during stressful times of your day. This helps to release some of your stress and calm you down. You may also listen to music, take a light snack or do something that you like, to spend some time away from stressful conditions of your daily routine.

Best Ways To Control Anger

Anger is one of the most common negative emotions, in that when a person is upset or frustrated over somebody or something, it manifests as anger. Though we may not notice on a routine basis, there are various forms of anger and it has a lot of negative effect on the overall physical and emotional health. Some people also are more prone to feel angry and manifest it openly, who is known as  short-tempered.  Read on to know more about anger and how to manage anger effectively.

In today s world though, you cannot throw a fit of rage and say it is because of your short-tempered nature. There are extreme instances of violence triggered by anger, so it is necessary to learn to conquer your anger. 

DIFFERENT PEOPLE RESPOND TO ANGER IN DIFFERENT WAYS, COMMONLY AS:

Verbal anger: The person who is angry, abuses the other person or sometimes throws rage at a totally different person to vent out the anger. 
Passive anger: Though these people are less expressive when angry, they show their anger through sarcasm directed at the person who induced anger. 
Self-inflicted Anger: These people inflict anger on themselves through self-harm acts like minor cuts, bruises, beating oneself, digging nails into their flesh or burns to release their anger.
SYMPTOMS OF ANGER AND AGGRESSION 
We may respond to anger in physical and psychological ways such as those listed below:

Anger   physical responses: increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, muscle tension, clenched jaw 
Anger   psychological responses: feelings of frustration, feelings of rejection, feelings of mistreatment, hostility towards some people 
Aggression: shouting at people (e.g. family, colleagues, strangers, physical violence (e.g. hitting, punching people or slamming doors), ignoring or socially excluding others (passive aggression)
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE SHORT-TEMPERED
Some people really are more impetuous than others. They get aggressive more easily and more intensely as compared to others. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. People who are easily angered don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they get off socially, sulk, drink/smoke or get physically ill.

Easily angered people generally have what we call as "A low tolerance for frustration, aggravations and hassles of daily living" and sometimes overreact to the many common problems of daily living. They feel that they should not be subjected to frustration, annoyance, or inconvenience. They can't take things in stride, and are particularly infuriated if the situation in some way seems illogical: for example, such people might be miffed on being corrected for even a minor blunder. 

HOW ANGER AFFECTS OUR LIVES

Physical effects of anger: Anger triggers the body s  fight or flight  response. Other emotions that trigger this response include anxiety, fear and excitement. The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. The brain shunts blood away from the gut and towards the muscles, in preparation for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.

Health problems with anger: The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include: 

Headache 
Insomnia 
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain 
Increased anxiety 
High blood pressure 
Depression 
Heart attack 
Stroke 
Skin problems, such as eczema
IMPACT OF ANGER ON OUR RELATIONS

Anger at home: Anger is a normal emotion but not being able to control your anger at home can damage your personal relationships. When you get angry, it stresses your partner out and breaks the trust in your relationship. When it comes to children, shouting at them can confuse them and make them afraid of you. In the long run, this can affect their social skills.
Anger at the workplace: Getting angry at your workplace can reduce your productivity and harm your relationships with your colleagues. The angrier you get in the office, the more your colleagues and clients will avoid you. Thus, you may risk missing out on crucial teamwork projects that can affect your career growth. A reputation for anger can also make you a target for revenge and lawsuits.
Anger in society: Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a reputation for getting easily offended and angered. Thus the angrier you get, the more your friends will keep away from you. This can be quite frustrating and can make you an even angrier person. Uncontrolled anger can also lead to physical outbursts that can put you in trouble with the law.
Anger is a strong and powerful emotion. If it isn t handled appropriately, it may have destructive results for you and those closest to you. Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical abuse, physical fights, self-harm and assault. On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes

ANGER MANAGEMENT - SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGMENT 
The way you typically express anger may take some time to modify. Suggestions include:

Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad. 
Learn relaxation techniques, such as meditation or yoga. 
Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution. 
See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past. 
Exercise regularly.
BENEFITS OF REGULAR EXERCISE IN MOOD MANAGEMENT
People who are stressed are more likely to experience anger. Studies have documented that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve one's mood. This may be because physical exertion burns up stress chemicals, and it also boosts production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain, including endorphins and catecholamines.

TEACHING CHILDREN HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER
Expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour. Suggestions on helping your child to deal with strong feelings include:

Lead by example. 
Treat your child s feelings with respect. 
Let them know that anger is natural and should be expressed appropriately. 
Teach practical problem-solving skills. 
Encourage open and honest communication in the home. 
Explain the difference between aggression and anger. 
Teach your child different ways of calming and soothing themselves. 
Punish aggression or violence, but not appropriately expressed anger.

Kill The Anger Before It Kills You!

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