Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

With exam time around the corner, the stress is on both parents and students. Some kids spend very less time with books and assimilate all that is there in the books. Other children may have a hard time trying to focus on studies and even harder time in recollecting what they have studied. 

What can help improve focus, concentration, and memory? Try some of these tips and identify what works for you and build your own rules.

Create a suitable environment: Some claim that they study better with the TV or radio on, this is often not true. Get rid of background noises, phone ringtones, etc. This creates  division of attention,  where there is no 100% focus on books. Sit in a quiet environment without any disturbance for better focus. Red walls are believed to improve concentration, so try a red wallpaper, red computer desktop, etc. Sit in the same place and get into a regular routine of studying.
Draw up a schedule or timetable: Try to finish the tougher subjects or topics first by giving adequate time for these.
Treat yourself: When you have thoroughly understood a topic or cracked a practice exam well, treat yourself to a bar of chocolate or a video song. You begin to do better in anticipation of these treats.
Include breaks: A break of 15 minutes every two hours is very essential for the brain to process the information that was pumped in and to get ready for the next lot.
Work on improving brain power: Learning (memorizing or analyzing) stimulates the brain and improves brain power. So, people who are constantly studying can claim to have better brain power.
Build a concentration clock: With our attention spans spiralling down, this is very important. Force yourself to sit in one place and study. If you have the urge to break, try to delay it, first by two minutes, then five minutes, and then 10 minutes. This will gradually help you overcome the urge to take breaks.
Have healthy food: Eating healthy and nutritious food is another habit to develop, if you want to pep up your brain. Ensure your food has sufficient minerals and vitamins. Try eating fresh food and dairy products adequately.
Follow a systematic sleep routine: If you are not someone who likes to sleep for fixed eight hours, begin doing it. This works wonders for the body and mind like very few other things.
Exercise regularly: This improves blood circulation to the brain and improves brain functioning. So be it cycling or running, gymming or swimming, take an exercise break. Yoga or meditation are equally efficient. 

Improve Your Concentration - Make Your Study Hour Count!

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Autism is a kind of developmental disability, which usually crops up before a child attains the age of 3. It is just part of a group of neurological disorders, which involve impaired communication along with impairment in social interaction and cognitive skills. It is better known as Autism spectrum disorder, it might well be linked with a wide variety of traits.

The traits include:

Activities done on a repetitive basis.

Extreme level of resistance to changes brought about in daily routines.

Very unusual reactions to things like touch.

Problem having interactions with the environment.

Children suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder can have some of the major problems with regard to both speech and carry out communications in a non-verbal manner. Social interactions might also become very difficult propostions for them.

This is where, speech therapy comes to the rescue of these patients. It is the central part of treatment for autistic children. The speech therapy can help take care of a wide variety of communication problems occurring among people with autism.

Common Speech and Communication Problems Associated With Autism

Social communication, development of language and speech can get adversely affected by autism in more than one way.

A person with autism can have the speech problems, wherein they may:

Not communicate at all.

Tend to utter cries, grunts, shrieks, harsh or throaty sounds.

Talk or just hum in a musical manner.

Utter words, might can sound to be alien or robotic.

Often look to repeat whatever another person says.

Around 30% of people, suffering from autism has problem in producing speech sounds to ensure effective communication with others. The language, even if it is present, can be too difficult to be understood by others.

Communication problems can occur in various ways, for people who suffer from autism. The challenges faced by them while communicating are as follows:

Communication requires a person to make eye contact with another person or even make certain gestures. People with autism will have serious trouble in meeting up with the conversational skills.

They would have difficulty in understanding the meaning of words, which are out of context from what they have actually learned.

They would have very little understanding of the meaning of words and symbols.

Treatment through Speech Therapy

Speech therapy can help children get rid of the problems in speaking, as well as those related to communicating and interacting with others. This involves non-verbal skills such as making direct eye contact, taking initiative in conversations and understanding of different kinds of gestures.

This therapy can also teach children the art of expressing themselves by using picture symbols, computers or through sign language.

Five Principles of Speech Therapy

There are basically five principles used as a framework, to work upon in speech therapy with children, suffering from autism. They include:

Establishing Functional Communication In A Spontaneous Manner  

Providing Social Instruction in Different Settings throughout the Day

Target Peer Interactions

Even Provide Training and Support to Other Adults

Look to Fine Tune Communication Skills as Other Areas Improve.

How Speech Therapy Can Help Autistic Children?

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a condition, which is characterized by a constant occurrence of compulsive behavior and obsessive thoughts. People across all ages are affected by this condition; in some cases, it might start early whereas, in others, it develops around the early years of childhood. This is a very distressing condition as it can cause significant interference in your daily life. It is recommended to get it treated at the earliest to manage its symptoms effectively.

Symptoms

Obsessive compulsive disorder causes an obsession about an unwanted (forbidden or unfounded) thought, urge or an image. This obsession may result in disgust, unease and feelings of anxiety. A compulsion is defined as a certain behavior that is usually repetitive, something that you tend to do over and over again to get rid of the constant anxiety. An example would be to constantly check the windows of the house resulting from an uncorroborated fear that the house may be burgled.

The causes of obsessive compulsive disorder are:

Chemical imbalances in the brain marked by low serotonin levels
Family history of OCD
People who are meticulous, neat and methodical might develop OCD
Certain traumatic events such as having been bullied or abused can also cause OCD
Treatment

There are multiple treatment options. The aim of the treatments is to manage the symptoms and improve the quality of life. The treatments are:

Medications: Certain antidepressants that alter the chemical imbalance in the brain can treat OCD.
Psychological therapy: Counselling or cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective in treating OCD. Cognitive behavioral therapy aims to modify one s thinking pattern and get rid of unnecessary fears and thoughts.

Fear of Dirt or Contamination - Can it be a Sign of OCD?

Don't wait any longer, manage your Adult Psychiatrist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Adult Psychiatrist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES