Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

7 dangerous things that smoking does to your skin

Most people think that having a smoking habit adversely affects only the lungs and the heart. But apart from known links to lung cancer and heart disorders, smoking also causes skin damage. The intensity of damage is directly proportional to the number of cigarettes one smokes in a day and the number of years one has been smoking for.

Here are 7 of the horrible things that smoking does to your skin

1. Premature ageing: the process of skin ageing is accelerated by a smoking habit. The chemicals that are ingested through the smoke cause your skin to age much faster, making it look loose, dull and coarse, with uneven colouring. Most smokers have a muted orange or grey tinge to their complexions.

2. Wrinkles and lines: the nicotine from smoke constricts blood vessels in the outer layers of the skin, thereby cutting off the supply of oxygen and nutrients. This causes the skin to develop visible fine lines and wrinkles at a faster rate.

3. Scarring and pigmentation: since blood is not flowing properly to the outer layers of the skin, it is more susceptible to broken capillaries and veins, which can cause dark scarring and pigmentation on the face and other areas.

4. Darkening of the lips: constant exposure to heat from smoking causes stark darkening and pigmentation in the lips, which also become dry and coarse.

5. Delayed wound healing: the presence of nicotine, tar and other chemicals in the blood causes cuts and wounds on the skin to heal at a much slower pace with an increased risk of infection, blood clot formation and death of skin tissue.

6. Increased risk of skin disease: smoking makes the skin prone to various diseases and conditions like psoriasis, which happen as nicotine adversely affects the body's immune system.

7. High chances of skin cancer: skin cancer and oral cancer are the two lesser known variants of the diseases that can be caused by smoking. Skin cancer is far more common among smokers than among non-smokers.

The harmful effects of smoking on the skin are not entirely discernible until after 10 years of prolonged smoking. Fortunately, your skin starts to heal itself when you kick the habit.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: E-cigarettes : Good Or Bad?

7 Dangerous Changes that Smoking Causes to Your SKIN

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is also known as OCD. It is a mental ailment that causes specific changes in the brain as well as the behaviour of the patient. It can also cause severe anxiety and lead the patient to consume a lot of time for completing even the most normal tasks. These obsessions are like thoughts, images and even videos playing where the cause of a certain action becomes more profound with the number of imagined risks if it is not done in a specific way, as per the mind of the patient. These turn into repetitive actions undertaken by the patient, where these actions are known as compulsions.

Hence the term: obsessive compulsive disorder. Washing, cleaning, losing control, contamination fears and more are only a few of the thoughts that plague patients suffering from this disorder. While this disorder may not have a specific cure, there are various ways in which it can be managed. Let us look at some of these methods.

What Causes OCD-

The exact cause of OCD is unknown. It is generally considered unlikely that OCD develops purely psychologically as a consequence of the way we are brought up.

Genetics and Physiology: It is generally accepted that OCD arises from differences in the physiology of the brain in people with the condition.
Serotonin: Lack of serotonin activity appears to be involved in causing OCD. Serotonin is a calming and inhibitory neurotransmitter, one of its main actions is to control and put the brakes on painful, worrying or anxious thoughts.
Traumatic Life Events: Traumatic emotional events such as bereavement may trigger or worsen OCD in people who already have a tendency to have the condition.
Treatment of OCD-

For best results in treating this troublesome anxiety disorder combine brain-chemistry balancing approaches with psychotherapy techniques.

Nutritional Therapy: Try tryptophan and St John's Wort to increase serotonin. Rhodiola has been shown to help generalised anxiety disorder however Rhodiola has the ability to raise 'brain energy' and therefore hypothetically may exa-sperate OCD symptoms.
L-theanine or just theanine for short is an amino acid found in tea that has a calming and anti-anxiety effect. Theanine increases GABA activity in the brain and is well worth a try.
The Inositol Treatment of OCD: Inositol, one of the B vitamins, has been found effective in treating OCD. Inositol is used in biochemical processes that affect serotonin receptors.
Psychotherapy: This is also known as discussion or talk therapy where the patient is allowed to engage with a therapist who is usually a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist. The doctor will help the patient in first of all, becoming aware of the problem by helping the patient carry out various tasks in a controlled environment. These tasks will be timed and then relayed to the patient before the exposure therapy begins, where the patient will be taught to build a better quality of life. This a long term and time taking process which can also involve group sessions and sessions with the family members. Also, this method takes a lot of practice so that the patient learns how to regulate the obsessions and stop the compulsive behaviour gradually.
Exercise: Numerous studies have shown the benefits of exercise upon mental health. So, a minimum of 20mins of daily exercise can help you a lot.
Relaxation Training & Meditation: Learning meditation and relaxation techniques may enhance one's ability to control anxiety and one's thoughts in general.
Medication: There are various kinds of medicines that can be prescribed for these patients. Anti-depressants can help the patient in overcoming the fears and anxiety that a person feels when the wheels of one's imagination begin to turn towards obsessive thoughts. This will also help in tackling the hopelessness that the person feels when faced with the so called depressing outcome of not bowing to the compulsive habits.
Putting It All Together-

Follow the diet for serotonin deficient depression, and GABA deficient anxiety.
Consult with a qualified therapist using behavioural rather than analytical techniques.
Do some repetitive mind-occupying/filling as opposed to mind-emptying meditations everyday.

How to Deal with OCD

Epilepsy is a disease that affects the brain's nerve cells and triggers the release of abnormal electrical signals. This can cause temporary malfunctioning of the other brain cells and result in seizures and sometimes loss of consciousness. Epilepsy can affect both children and adults.

Causes of Epilepsy

The cause of this condition isn t very evident; however, few causes of epileptic seizures to metion are brain tumours, injury, infections in the brain or birth defects. Some doctors believe that epilepsy is caused due to genetic mutations and is an outcome of abnormal activity of cells in the brain. Other causes for this condition can be alcohol or narcotics withdrawal and electrolyte problems.

 Symptoms

Repeated seizures

Impaired memory

Bouts of fainting

Short spans of blackout

Sudden bouts of blinking and chewing

Panic

Inappropriate repetitive movements

Types of Seizures
A seizure, also known as fit, is usually a brief episode characterised by uncontrollable jerking movement and loss of awareness due to abnormal neuronal activity in your brain. A collective occurrence of these seizures causes epilepsy.

 There are three types of seizures based on aetiology:

Idiopathic: This kind of seizure has no apparent cause.

Cryptogenic: The doctors believe that there is a cause for the seizure but cause cannot be detected.

Symptomatic: These seizures occur due to a reason, as a symptom of some neuro-medical condition.

Role of Homeopathy

Homeopathy is a form of healing based upon the principle of  Similia similibus curentur  or  like cures like . It was founded by a German doctor, Dr. Samuel Hahnemann in 1810. Homoeopathy offers vast scope in the treatment of various illnesses, both acute and chronic including epilepsy. Homeopathy takes into account the entire person like the patients family history, past history, etc. Homoeopathic doctors study each case thoroughly, analyze and evaluate the symptoms and then prescribe the medicine.

Homeopaths treat the patient s mental, emotional and physical make-up i.e. the constitution. This is known as  constitutional treatment . Constitutional treatment treats the disease and removes it from its roots. The Constitutional method is employed in the treatment of epilepsy in Homoeopathy. This method is gives amazing results in many cases.

Homeopathy has immense scope in the treatment of Epilepsy. In fresh cases, where the child is new to epileptic treatment, homoeopathy can relieve complaints by giving  constitutional treatment .

In other cases where the child is already taking treatment, homoeopathy can taper off the doses gradually and thus treat the patient effectively. Thus, in both the cases, homoeopathic treatment is beneficial in treating epilepsy.

In either of the cases, a constitutional medicine is given to treat epilepsy. Constitutional treatment relieves the patient from seizures, convulsions, etc. Thus the child can attend school daily and concentrate on his studies. In about 1/3 cases of epilepsy, a surgery known as  seizure surgery  is performed. Regular constitutional treatment is very useful in such cases.

Homeopathic medicines are completely side-effect free and are not habit-forming. They can be taken by children, adults and even by pregnant women. They must be taken only after consultation from a homoeopathic practitioner.

Epilepsy - Causes, Symptoms & Homeopathic Treatment Of It!

Epilepsy is a disease that affects the brain's nerve cells and triggers the release of abnormal electrical signals. This can cause temporary malfunctioning of the other brain cells and result in sudden loss of consciousness. Epilepsy can affect both children and adults.

Epilepsy can be treated in a number of ways. One of the most preferred forms of treatment is homeopathy. Homeopathy addresses both the physical symptoms of the disease and the underlying factors triggering it. Another big advantage of homeopathic treatment is that it has negligible side effects.

A few homeopathic remedies that can be used to treat epilepsy are:

Cicuta
Cicuta is very effective when used to treat cases of epilepsy where convulsions are marked by violent, body distortions. This can include the horrific backward bending of the spine. These convulsions also make the person's face turn blue and trigger a locked jaw. This can also be used to effectively treat epilepsy cases triggered by head injuries and worms.

Artemisia vulgaris
This is used to often treat cases of petit mal epilepsy which are characterized by staring into space, leaning forwards or backwards and stopping a sentence abruptly. It also addresses fear that triggers epileptic attacks.

Stramonium
Convulsions triggered by exposure to bright lights or shiny objects can be treated with this homeopathic remedy. In such cases, the patient may not lose consciousness but experiences jerks in the muscles of the upper body.

Cuprum met
This homeopathic remedy is used to treat seizures that are preceded by experiencing an aura in the knees. Other symptoms that characterize this sort of an epileptic attack are spasms that begin in the fingers and toes and gradually spread to the rest of the body and jerking of muscles. This can also be used to treat convulsions that accompany menstruation and follow the delivery of a baby.

Bufo rana
Not all epileptic attacks occur you are awake. Attacks that occur in your sleep can be treated with bufo rana. Such epileptic attacks are accompanied by experiencing an aura in the genital regions. This is especially helpful for women who experience seizures during menstruation.

Hyoscyamus
Some epileptic fits are followed by a deep sleep. This type of epileptic attacks can be treated with hyoscyamus. Other symptoms addresses by this homeopathic medicine are fidgeting with bed clothes, fidgeting with fingers and muscular twitching.

These homeopathic remedies can be taken on their own or in combination with other medicines.

Top Homeopathic Remedies for Epilepsy Treatment

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