5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Intercourse is meant to be a pleasurable and intimate experience. But it might become an unpleasant act if you are suffering from performance anxiety. When you are mentally occupied by questions such as "Do I look too fat?" or "Did I do that right?", sex stops being a gratifying experience.

Incessant anxiety over your ability or appearance can result in sex becoming nerve-wracking and stressful for you. It might even have you avoiding sex altogether. This psychological condition is termed as sexual performance anxiety.

Sex isn't only a physical reaction, there are emotions tied to it as well. If you are too stressed out and your mind is preoccupied, your body reflects your inner turmoil and you cannot get aroused.

Causes
The causes of sexual performance anxiety include:
1. Fear that you wouldn't be able to satisfy your partner and perform well sexually
2. Body image issues (Such as stressing about your weight)
3. Problems in your relationship
4. Men worry that their penis don't 'measure' up
5. Men might be concerned about taking too much time to orgasm, or about premature ejaculation
6. Women worry about not enjoying the experience or being unable to have an orgasm

Symptoms
Your mental state has a deep impact on your physical state. The effect of stress hormones norepinephrine and epinephrine can hinder your sexual performance. Symptoms of sexual performance anxiety include:

1. In men, blood vessels constrict due to the effect of stress hormones. This leads to reduced blood flow to the penis, thus making it difficult for the man to get an erection.

2. Often though it is less diagnosed in women, sexual performance anxiety leads to trouble in lubrication during sex. Lack of lubrication dims the desire to have sex.

Sexual performance anxiety is a vicious, inescapable cycle. Increased anxiety hampers you from having sex, making you think you won't be able to perform well, which causes even more anxiety.

Treatment
Consult a doctor you will be comfortable with discussing your problems. Sexual performance can be either treated by medication (if you have an underlying medical condition such as erectile dysfunction) or through therapy.

Talking to a therapist or counsellor about your problems can help you in several ways. You can learn to become more comfortable with yourself and your body. You can also understand your problems better, which can eliminate your anxiety.

All About Sexual Performance Anxiety

Warts are benign growths on the skin. They are hard in nature and are caused due to virus infection. Warts usually infect the upper layer of the skin. This virus is generally passed through a cut in the skin or a damaged skin. If a person with a cut or a damaged skin comes in contact with another infected person, then the virus may spread rapidly. There are different kinds of warts depending on the areas they grow on.

Below mentioned are eight remedies to get rid of warts:

1. Try to be hygienic: warts may pass from one body part to another. So do not touch the infected parts of your skin several times. Make sure to wash your hands with clean water every time you touch the infected areas.
2. Eat healthy: make sure to eat healthy, exercise and sleep well as this will help you to develop a strong immune system. A strong immune system can help you to get rid of warts.
3. Garlic: a paste made of garlic can be very useful for treating warts.
4. Lemon juice: lemon juice has great healing powers for treating warts. It contains vitamin c which can destroy the viruses causing warts.
5. Using lukewarm water: soaking the infected parts of your body in lukewarm water will soften the warts and help you to get rid of them too.
6. Laser therapy: laser therapy can also help you to get rid of warts. In some cases, it might require anesthesia.
7. Oils: applying essential oils on the affected areas can also prove to be very helpful. You can use oils like tea tree oil or bergamot oil.
8. Acetic acid: acetic acid can also help you to get rid of your warts, especially from the areas of your feet or hand.
Apart from the remedies mentioned above, you can also consider special surgeries for removing warts after consulting a dermatologist.

8 Remedies to Get Rid of Warts

Not everyone can conceive a baby easily. The inability to conceive a baby despite having intercourse during the fertile window in a woman s menstrual cycle for over a year is termed as infertility. Infertility does not affect only the physical health of a woman, but also her mental and emotional well-being as well as the couple s social health. 

In some cases, infertility can be treated with Ayurveda. According to Ayurveda, a couple needs to be both physically and mentally strong and healthy. Ayurveda believes that a lack of nutrition in the shukra dhatu or the person s reproductive tissue is the cause of infertility. This can be triggered by indigestion, anxiety, depression, insomnia and the presence of toxins in the body. Some of the ways Ayurveda can be used to treat infertility are as follows:

Eat cool foods: Spicy food can affect the quality of shukra dhatu and lower the quality and quantity of both sperm and ovum. This is because shukra dhatu requires a cool environment to promote fertility. Hence, eat food that is easy to digest and which has a cooling effect on the body. Men can benefit from foods like asparagus, dates and almonds, while foods like quinoa and pineapples can help a woman conceive easily.
Shirodhara therapy: Shirodhara involves the movement of liquid over the forehead in a rhythmic manner at specific points. This stimulates the hypothalamus, pituitary and pineal glands and aids in the secretion of hormones including follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH). When it comes to women, FSH stimulates the ovarian follicles into releasing an egg without which it would be impossible to conceive a child.
Fight stress: One of the effects of stress is reduced libido. Prolonged exposure to stress is often a major factor that contributes to infertility. When it comes to women, stress makes a woman ovulate less regularly. In men, stress can affect the sperm production and affect testosterone levels. To fight stress, try deep breathing exercises like alom vilom or keep a little time aside each morning for a walk or light exercise.
Lodhra: This herb is very beneficial in treating women with infertility. It stimulates FSH and luteinising hormones (LH) and lowers the risk of a miscarriage. It also increases chances of conception. Lodhra should be taken twice a day along with honey and milk.
Lifestyle changes: Ayurveda is not only about herbal medicines but also following the right lifestyle. Bad habits like smoking, drug usage and alcohol not only affect a person s overall health but also interfere with fertility. Hence, when trying to conceive a child, quit these bad habits and try following a healthier lifestyle that involves following a routine, eating right and exercising regularly.

Infertility - 5 Ayurvedic Remedies for it!

Most women have their own distinct smell below the belt. It might be a little embarrassing to know that there is a feminine odor, sometimes foul, in the private parts of a lady. But, it is true that this smell can be a cause of concern as well. Vaginal odour is a symptom for sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia and gonorrhea. Besides, a combination of factors including infection of the vaginal tract, unhygiene, gland secretions, sweating and improper clothing are responsible for vaginal odour.

Common reasons for vaginal odour:

    Bacterial vaginosis: It is a very common phenomenon. Vagina contains bacteria, which are produced there naturally. Bacterial vaginosis refers to bacterial overgrowth. It leads to vaginal odour. Most women experience this condition at least once during their lifetime, especially in the reproductive years. Though the exact cause behind its occurrence is unknown, it can occur due to having unprotected sex or frequent douching.
    Yeast Infection: The odour caused due to yeast infection is not very strong. But it has other symptoms like white vaginal discharge and itching. The discharge looks like cottage cheese and is caused due to the excess growth of yeast named Candida. There might be a burning sensation at the time of having sex or urination.
    Sexually transmitted diseases: Vaginal odour is a symptom for STDs like chlamydia and gonorrhea.
    Vaginal odour can intensify after having sex: It can also be caused due to inflammation of the pelvic region.

When is vaginal odour a signal for STDs?

Vaginal odour is normal, but you need to watch out for other symptoms to be sure that whether or not you are infected with STDs. If you have vaginal discharge, painful urination and difficulty in having sexual intercourse, there is a possibility of developing STDs. In case of STDs, the discharge is bloody or brown in colour.

Is Vaginal Odour a Sign of STD?

Birth control is a method by which unwanted pregnancy is prevented. Partners can plan their childbearing in a better way using the increased levels of awareness about birth control.
 
Methods of birth control
1. Intrauterine devices (IDUs): These are most effective methods of birth control. The intrauterine device (IUD) is a long-acting and reversible form of contraception for women. It is of two types: Copper IUD (contains copper) and Hormone-releasing IUDs (progestin hormone is released into the womb slowly). It is a small device that is fitted inside the womb and it provides contraception by preventing fertilization of the egg.

2. Sterilization: This is a process of birth control that renders a woman incapable of conception or a man incapable of sperm delivery. The process is conducted with the consent of the individual and can be done using either surgical or non-surgical methods. In both the cases, tubes carrying sperms (in males) and fallopian tubes (females) are either cut or blocked.

3. Condoms: These are the most commonly used measures for birth control. Male and female condoms act as barriers and prevent the sperm from reaching the uterus.

4. Oral contraceptive pills: These pills are the most popular measures of birth control used by women across the world. This is the most convenient way of postponing pregnancy. However, it is very important that the side effects of the contraceptive pills be noted. The side effects cause changes in the body, such as irregular bleeding, increase in the breast's size increased levels of blood pressure as well as eventual infertility.

5. Contraceptive Injections: In this method, one hormone injection is administered, the effects of which last inside the body for a time period of 8 to 12 weeks i.e. 2-3 months. The contraceptive injection has the similar effects as that of contraceptive pills on birth control. Evidently, the shot is irreversible, which makes the woman infertile for a period of three months. However, similar to the pill, protection from STDs is not offered by contraceptive injections. But these injections can guarantee 99% safety and surety on being used.

6. Natural Family Planning: Even though it is not any external pill or device, Natural Family Planning is also a method of birth control. It relies on the knowledge of timings of the menstrual cycle (periods) so that the couple can avoid sex during the time period when the woman is fertile.

6 Sure Shot Ways of Birth Control

Get in touch with a top Sexologist online and consult with Lybrate's doctors today.


Consult with a Sexologist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES