Age 23. Bachpan se bholapan rah mujhme. 7 class se jitna yaad hai friends nii the kbhi aur too jo kehte vo kr deti thi takki friends bne rhe pr aisa hua nii. Ek frnd ke kehne par class chodd ke bus me gyi ek frnd ke saath. Mai bahut jyada hasna, jyada bolna kiya krti .kb kya krna kya bolna nii pta tha jb pta chla glt tha fir ghar pe btane se darti btati nii thi ek baar ghar pe pta chla tab sb ne daata fir vo school chodd diya maine dusre school me bhi aise bna jyada hasna, bolna. Jise control krne ka mtlb andar andar ghutna ya pareshan hona. Ghar pr jldi se kuch nii btana rah jb pta chlta btana pdta. Jhuth bolne me hichak hoti fir bhi sach ya jhuth bolne ke liye sochna hota. Dil se khulapan hai mujhme. Ghar pe koi baat ho too ldai hone ka dar bhi hota tha. Mere papa kuch puchte too ek sawal pe 10 sawal krdete mujhe psnd nii aata aur iss trah vo dar bngya kyunki jwab dene me hichak aur na de paane ka dar jo ldai bnta .shi se word nii bol paati thi mai ulta sidha bolti thi ya kahu jo puchte usse excess. Jarurt se jyada sochti thi mai .ldai ka karan mai khud ko manne lgi khud ko dosh dene lgi pal pal iss trah khud ko harm krti thi jab gussa aata, 12 class ke baad se headache hone lga padhai me kamjori, yaad na rehna pr himmat ke saath pdhi jaise bhi ho .headache ki asli samsya dhyan na dene ki vjh badhi ye aur aisa hua half an hour padhna mushkil hogya college life me aane ke 1 saal ke baad dheere dheere. Har baar aisa hota daat milti doshi khud ko manti harm krti .ek baar akele ghar se bhaagi fir vapis aayi par ladko ka chakar nii tha. Ghar me vhi baat rhi mai vaisi rhi pal pal khud ko akela mehsus krne ki koshish nii or akelepan ka feel andar rakha kbhi life me bhari nii pdne diya. Frnd ko call kru, kbhi help ho too mil jaati mushkil se pr koi call krta jyadatar apne kaam ke liye bss mai kr deti. Ghar me kbhi nii btaya dar se daat se ldai se ye dar beth gya. Suicide krne ka khyal aane lga pr khud ko harm krne se chalti thi head ko diwar pe marna, chlta. Ghar vale mujhse bahut pyar krte hai mai nii kahti pr meri situation, meri taklif natak, bahana, smjhte hai tab gussa aata hai ek baar nii baar baar .ek vakt me ek soch nii bahut saari soch chlti mere andar kya honga kaise honga ye bhi. Kuch kahu na kahu, baat btao ya na btao shi ho vo bhi soch soch kr bolti thi ya 2 din baad. Negative sirf gusse me aata ya koi nii smjhta tab kyunki ek bhi nii jisne shi smjha hi mujhe. Bhaag ke shaadi krna meri majboori bni shyad shi ho sab lekin meri sochne ki jarurat se jyada ya har vakt khate, peete sochna bna rah. 18 mahine baad husband ki death hochuki march 2020me. Aapne ghar aagyi par vaisa sb rah .august se pareshaani aisi badhi aawajon se pareshaani, paani ki aawaj pareshan krti, call pr baat krna. Vjh meri soch kyunki iss taklif ko sochti ye kah gya. Aaj sb kuch bardast kr rhi andar andar. Ghar pe gussa bahut jyada choti choti baaton pr bhi. Meri badteemezi ka name diya jaa rah hai isko khud ko harm krna bhi chla iss vjh se. Meri family se nafrat nii krti vo sochti hai aisa. Aaj mai pay krke online solution lena mushkil hai kyunki vhi ek rasta hai .koi meri pareshani smjh ske dungi ek baat mujhe sunkr diagnose kre fir shyad kuch ho ske aur aapko fees bhi mil ske nii too himmat chah kr bhi nii rakh paogi. Aaj umid hai too aap jo sunega .headache 24 hrs. 5 yrs. Se, periods one day 1 saal se upar hogya, bodypain, 5 yrs. Se, leucorrhoea 5 years se. Har takilf se himmat hai pr family pyar krti hai smjh nii rhi shi pareshani iss vjh se negative aajaata. Positive hu isilye umid ni haari hai ji. Ho ske too email iss pr bheje baat kre. Zindagi mil jayengi khi der na hojaye. Aapko shi lge too.