I have a habit of excessive masturbation and I am a chain smoker. I wanted to quit both. please suggest something for both.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist46yrs exp

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Masturbation is not really bad; it is the addiction to it that is bad. Not even the number of years is a problem but the frequency and compulsiveness to do it is to be considered for its ill-effects. At your age you may feel it difficult and it can become addictive if you have alone time, if you obsess about it, and if you are not into relationships. The problem with addiction to this is that you may go on to prefer masturbation to heterosexual contact, even when you are married. That obviously would be an insult to your wife and will lead to a lot of conflict. Heterosexual contact is very wholesome and the physiology is made exactly for penile and vaginal contact. You will instead enjoy a poor replica of this and not know or care for the difference. The second thing that can happen with addiction is that it will become compulsive and will have no boundaries or limits, since it can be done all by yourself, whenever, wherever, and however too. The big problem a lot of children get into is the guilt around this. A useful way to discharge the energy is to get into contact games, or exercises, or even hobbies to channelize it. Also you should not spend too much time alone, and you need to keep your mind occupied with other interesting things and a lot of socializing. Even if you are not interested in marriage, for whatever reasons, it will help you to get into a friendship with a girl and enjoy the relationship where there will be a lot of excitement when you fall in love. Right now your hormones may be very active and your physiological apparatus is primed and ready for sexual stimulation. But because of your age and even otherwise it is important to develop good control and not feed into your impulses. Keeping yourself occupied and living a healthy social life are the keys to manage your sexual drives. With regard to smoking here are some guidelines: You have to quit cold turkey because the body and mind will torture you endlessly while attempting a reduction in smoking. The tobacco tar in cigarette smoke lines your lung with huge patches that make that portion dysfunctional. Your oxygen carrying capacity is jeopardized, and breathing is impinged on. But don’t be discouraged because it is not too late even now to reverse all the ill-effects of smoking. I don’t know what other organs could be damaged but do go for a thorough medical check-up to assess the effects of your abuse. Regarding improving your lungs, do a lot of aerobic exercise breathing through your nostrils only. Then there are a lot of deep breathing exercises in Yoga which you can learn too. Deep breathing cleanses your system and lungs and restores it to good health. Deep breathing uses the 80% of the lungs which are not normally used in normal breathing and even when exerting yourself. The greatest effect is in the lungs because this substance is processed through the respiratory system directly through the lung surface. When quitting, you must take one day at a time; though you must give up all smoking at once, and promptly. If you look too far ahead you will get discouraged and will give up. If you sit and count the number of days you have given up, that will also focus too much on achievement. You must focus on the here and now, on that day to be precise. After all quitting is not that easy due to many factors. So even if you fail one day, you must try and try again. Very few people succeed in their first attempt. Your persistence will eventually pay off. The urge to discontinue is hampered by many factors but the worst of them is the conditioning. In fact, these conditions can exist all through the day, unlike other addictions. But your desire to want to stop is the most important factor. It is important to find out about the ill-effects of smoking to have a reason that alarms you about continuing the habit. The information is really scary but true and you must remind yourself about this every day. The nicotine in tobacco smoke stimulates the heartbeat to raise the blood pressure in no time at all. So you must avoid it like the plague: it is just very bad medicine for you. In fact, it is highly toxic too. You will need to stop smoking or consuming any tobacco related items with immediate effect. You should start vigorous exercises, gradually increasing it over a period of time. Do deep breathing exercises every time you feel like smoking (try Yoga), and replace the oral urge with some healthy food substitute to satiate the need. You may also take hard candy or chew gum. If the urge is too strong, then use nicotine gums and nicotine patches, for a little while until the smoking drive reduces, substantially. You may also join Smokers Anonymous in your city where the support is really extraordinary for like-minded people who are also in the same situation. Keep yourself occupied or engaged with interesting activities during the times when it is most tempting. Keep the company of non-smokers for some time i.e. At least for the first 21 days. Above all announce it to everyone that you have quit smoking. Here’s a piece of very good advice: even if you accidentally/willfully take a cigarette, it is not the end of the world – you can start the cessation all over again. You must persevere with the best support until you defeat this addiction. Counseling is very useful in the initial stages and when temptations are at their highest. You could also join twitter2quit program and enjoy its success to give up smoking.  

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