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I have a crush in my college and my friend told her about it, I have never interacted with she is a junior. Problem is I don't feel happy inside, I don't feel like doing anything. Can someone help me understand why I am not feeling happy?

Dr. Syed Saquib 90% (94 ratings)
M.B.B.S, D.P.M, M.A (Clinical Psychology)
Psychiatrist, Nagpur
I have a crush in my college and my friend told her about it, I have never interacted with she is a junior. Problem i...
See the reasons behind you not being happy can be a lot. However we need to differentiate that it's just the low mood you having or you facing depression. It would be better that you consulted a psychiatrist and discuss the problem in detail.
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Hi, I am 26 old, since 3 year I suffering from depression meanwhile I following medication but still not recovered fully. At in between time itself I dwell In alcoholic. My life is black and white. I am smoking also. Rushed thoughts, painful imagination, guilty about my past things, lack of concentration and focus ruining my happy and peace. I want my happy, peace and meaningful life. Help me.

Dr. Saul Pereira 97% (44975 ratings)
Reparenting Technique, BA, BEd
Psychologist, Bangalore
Hi, I am 26 old, since 3 year I suffering from depression meanwhile I following medication but still not recovered fu...
It is very difficult to say whether the depression came first or the drinking and smoking. Even so, both these habits are bad and can precipitate further complications and degeneration. The alcohol lifts up your mood from the depression but after the effects wear off, you will sink into more depression! Smoking is completely harmful: the nicotine in tobacco is a mood-modifier. It will boost up your mood when you are down and moderate it when it is too high, especially emotionally high. You must go and meet with a counselor immediately and if that person advises that you meet with a doctor you must do so and cooperate to your utmost. Please visit these professionals along with your parents. In the meantime please do the following sincerely because you could resolve the problem better with good cooperation: Have a good night’s sleep, have a good breakfast of more proteins, meditate often, remain free of stress, eat a lot of fiber, nuts, avocado, exercise regularly, eat dark chocolate, do Yoga meditation exercises, spend time in nature or gardening, etc. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least, 30 minutes but not in the scorching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don’t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive every day and learn to be contented with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do calisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved.
3 people found this helpful
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Is There A Way You Can Overcome Frustration?

Dr. Sanjeev Tripathi 89% (121 ratings)
Masters in Clinical Psychology, Bachelor in Psychology
Psychologist, Indore
Is There A Way You Can Overcome Frustration?

In some cases, frustration can tend to be positive and can give you another perspective or view on things. It can also give you the ability to continue going further until you achieve your objective. However, there are times when you are going in circles and the dissatisfaction makes you frustrated and this frustration can cloud your mind and judgment.

To avoid that from happening, there are certain approaches that will help you overcome your frustration:

  1. Be present in the moment: When you are frustrated, you tend to think about a lot of things. This keeps the individual completely occupied with different kinds of thoughts. Even if you try to avoid it or distract yourself, you again start to remember a disappointment from your past. You need to snap out of those thoughts and calm yourself down by centring your brain and thoughts on what is presently going on around you. You can do so in the following ways:
  2. Concentrate on relaxing: Take a seat, close your eyes and simply concentrate on the live events and concentrate on them for one to two minutes. Take quiet and marginally deeper breaths than regular and inhale with your stomach and not the chest. Concentrate on what is around you as of now. The sun sparkling in through your window, the children playing out on the road, the vehicles or the individuals passing by. Take in the details.
  3. Try to be happy with what you have right now: After you have pulled your concentration and thoughts back to where they can be most useful, focus on what is still positive in your life. The easiest and least demanding approach to do so is to centre it on acknowledging what you do have in your life right now. The most unimportant of things at this point can prove to be the most beneficial. For example:
    • A warm home and a rooftop over your head.
    • Water to drink.
    • Getting to eat great food.
    • Access to the internet and other forms of technology that make life easy.
    • Your loved ones.
  4. Focus on what you can do at this moment: With the amount of frustration and anger you might be feeling, it is important for you to concentrate on what you can do at the moment i.e. at present. It might involve figuring out what has been the cause for your frustration and how it can be dealt with right now or what the alternatives for it are.

Then again, you could also take your time to understand that you may have taken a lot of pressure or things have been extreme. Hence, you have to take some time or a couple of days to simply unwind, deal with yourself and maybe calm down a bit.

1380 people found this helpful

Borderline Personality Disorder - Know How It Can Possibly Disrupt Your Life!

Dr. Ms. Hema Sampath 88% (48 ratings)
Masters In Clinical Psychology, Diploma In Counsiling Skills, NLP
Psychologist, Bangalore
Borderline Personality Disorder - Know How It Can Possibly Disrupt Your Life!

One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person’s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self–image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

  1. Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
  2. Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
  3. Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
  4. People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
  5. Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
    • Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
    • Splurging money on gambling
    • Leaving a good job suddenly
    • A tendency to indulge in drugs
    • Binge eating
    • Reckless driving
    • Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
  6. Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result

Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can’t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

  • Genetics
  • Abnormalities in the brain
  • Childhood incidents which were stressful
  • Personality traits which have worsened

If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.

1 person found this helpful

5 Benefits of Self-Awareness!

Dr. Rakhi Anand 92% (312 ratings)
PhD - Clinical Psychology, Diploma in Clinical and Community Psychology, MA - Clinical Psychology, BA - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
5 Benefits of Self-Awareness!

Self-Awareness can be understood as knowing about oneself i.e. one’s thoughts, feelings and other characteristics of self. It is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we are able to experience ourselves as unique and separate individuals and then have ability to make changes and focus on our strengths as well as identify the areas where we would like to make improvements.

One should Take out time to look inwards which can help shape the person as who they are, become what they intend to. Looking inward can help one take positive steps in life. It is a necessary part of gaining self-awareness of:

* who you are

* how you see yourself

* what you think about yourself.

Along with how others see you, experience you what they think about you and what they can either enjoy about you or be  distanced by in you. At the very least, Introspection can help you make morally appropriate and much more personally responsible conscious decisions.

5 Benefits of Self-Awareness-

1.    Character Building-Looking inward forces one to confront the person who they really are – the positive, the negative, the weaknesses and the strengths and motivates one to work on them.

2. Rational Neutral Thinking- The conscious awareness about self makes one think about all the available information and then guide their thoughts accordingly.

3.   Better Decision Making- Introspection helps one take better decisions about self, keeping in mind one’s desires, abilities and strengths.

4.   Fight With One’s Own Fears – Through self-awareness one can acknowledge one’s own fears and move towards managing the feelings they bring in.

5.   Acknowledgement Of Choices- Introspection helps individual in defining the true authentic self which will help them to empower themselves to identify the real authentic choices and to feel much more confident in them and with them.

Thus, one must cultivate this practice of Self-Awareness for better understanding of self and make better decisions about self and ultimately be happy.

Sir my Blood pressure is high always any time. I am not happy. My bp 150/100. Pls advice me my bp will normal.

Dr. Dhruba Bhattacharya 91% (1656 ratings)
MBBS, PGC In Family Welfare & Health Management, DHA, PGD In Medical Laws & Ethics
General Physician, Kolkata
my Blood pressure is high always any time.
I am not happy. My bp 150/100. Pls advice me my bp will normal.
Weight reduction Daily walk 5 kms Salt restrictions Daily bp check for 3 days ECG resting Blood sugar check F&Pp Lipid profile Urea, creatinine Review with reports.
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Ways To Help You Manage Old Age Loneliness!

Dr. Krishna Murthy 90% (434 ratings)
MBBS Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery, MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Hyderabad
Ways To Help You Manage Old Age Loneliness!

Elderly people are usually prone to social isolation which can take a toll on their health. With physical inability or limitations to move around, socializing also gets limited and loneliness comes into your life. Thus, a major section of the senior population tends to have psychological issues as well which may be caused due to the loss of company and lesser interaction as well as a generation gap in trying to deal with younger people. If you are finding it hard to cope with loneliness, here are a few initiatives worth giving a try:

  1. Meet New People: Try giving an effort into meeting new people and enjoying their companionship. With time, few of these relationships might culminate into deep friendship. You can always turn to these people for emotional support as well as keeping company.

  2. Community Volunteering: Volunteer your time engaging yourself in local community activities and social events. Also try and get into interest groups where you can find people who have common interests as yours.

  3. Get back to your long lost hobbies: Re-kindle your long-lost zeal by adopting or getting back to hobbies you truly love, for instance, art and craft, gardening, sewing, playing an instrument, reading and writing, puzzles and writing to pen pals.

  4. Get a pet: Pets can add a new meaning to your life through their unconditional love. There is no greater joy than the joy of bringing up a pet. Ensure how don’t have allergy problems and will be able to keep up with the readily requirements of pets.

  5. Reminisce your good old days: Recollection would enhance your emotional health and will less likely make you feel withdrawn.

  6. Invite people over: In case you are home-bound, coming across people each day would be difficult. In that case invite your mates over tea or keep in touch with them through phone or internet. The internet is also a great resource to keep yourself occupied and to find hobbies that you can get into.

  7. Keep depression at bay: Loneliness can often make you fall prey to depression. Keep a check on any sign of physical or mental deterioration such as the feeling of despair and sadness, sleep-troubles, suicidal thoughts, unwillingness to take decisions, apathy and appetite loss.

  8. Help others: Use your acquired experiences and knowledge of your life-time in helping people out. Teach as well as learn something new each day.

  9. Write it down: Maintain a personal journal to pen down the things you are looking forward to or devise a plan for the forthcoming week.

  10. Take initiative: Do not wait for others to call on you. Instead travel by yourself to visit them. Seize every chance to initiate a conversation and smile even if life seems hard so that people are automatically attracted to you.

2 people found this helpful

How To Manage Emotional Problems?

Dr. Renu E George 85% (10 ratings)
PhD - Clinical Psychology, M.Phil - Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Bangalore
How To Manage Emotional Problems?

Emotional problems make direct tasks and simple errands harder. High feeling, bubbling disappointment and hurt emotions motivate the person. Certain people become very protective. Protectiveness causes us to pry on others. Others might want to disconnect completely and resolve issues in a different manner. A great many people manage their emotional issues by opposing, quelling and overlooking them. At this point, your brain feels uneasy and you end up making rash decisions. However, there are ways to deal with emotional problems. These are as follows:

  1. Be aware: Try to stay active and be aware of solid feelings and sentiments. Work on improving them as they show up and quickly misidentify with them. Advise yourself that you are not your feelings and that they are only temporary.
  2. Use labeling: Utilize naming. Research has demonstrated that naming and surveying a feeling changes the feeling into a subject of examination and consequently diminishes its power on you. So in case you are feeling furious, essentially let yourself know that this is you being angry and you will in all probability see that the force of the inclination instantly drops.
  3. Get curious: Rather than opposing the emotions and sentiments, get inquisitive about them. Focus on how they affect you. Where in the body do they show? How do the diverse muscles in your body feel? How is your breath? Hold your emotions and sentiments in present mindfulness and simply let them do their thing without judging or sticking to them. Utilise the possibility of your brain as the sky and your emotions and sentiments as clouds that are passing by.
  4. Face-to-face interaction: Up close and personal social interaction with somebody who thinks about you is the best approach to quiet your nervous system and calm anxiety. It additionally relieves stress-busting hormones, so you will feel better regardless of the possibility that you cannot change the upsetting circumstance itself. The key is to collaborate with somebody who is a decent audience or someone you can consistently talk with face to face, or who will hear you out without a prior motivation for how you need to think or feel.
  5. Exercise and meditationThe brain and the body are inherently connected. When you improve your physical well-being, you will consequently encounter more prominent mental and enthusiastic betterment. Physical movement likewise discharges endorphins, intense chemicals that lift your state of mind and make you happy. Normal exercise or action can majorly affect mental and enthusiastic medical issues, mitigate stress, enhance memory, and help you to rest better.

In case that you continue facing this frequently, you will soon find that your relationship with your mind will begin to change. You will build up an intense metacognition (the capacity to face your reasoning) which helps you to handle your emotions and feelings in a great manner.

3622 people found this helpful

7 Ways Of Getting Others To Like You, For The Real You

Dr. Syeda Arifa Tasneem 84% (12 ratings)
Msc - Clinical Psychology
Psychologist, Bangalore
7 Ways Of Getting Others To Like You, For The Real You

Everything you do in your life is basically to get someone to like you, or at least, not to dislike you. You may try to impress your parents, friends, spouse or even your colleagues, or rather you may just want someone to like you more. But this urge of ‘wanting to be liked by others’ is something almost all humans desire. In fact, it has become a way of life. Most people associate likability to physical appearance. While it does work to some extent initially, in the long run, it is your personality and behaviour that actually make a difference. 

Seven ways to get people to like you:

1. Find out their interests:  Every individual’s thought process is ultimately around his/her own self. Therefore, when you show a level of interest in a person, that person begins to reciprocate the interest in you. Hence the first step towards getting people to like you is by showing interest in them. This mutual admiration society builds itself in time from being virtual & simulated towards authenticity and genuinely being interested.

2. Be kind, compassionate and empathic: When someone shows warmth, it breaks the ice and makes it easier to become friendly. You don’t need to overdo anything to look attractive. You just need to be clean and maintain good hygiene and be kind to be reciprocated with the same. 

3. Being humorous: People are generally more attracted towards someone who can make them laugh at times of distress. The class clown, for instance, is usually a popular kid. However, don’t constantly joke around or play pranks as the other person may get annoyed and frustrated instead.

4. Be energetic and enthusiastic: We actually tend to mirror the behaviour of those we spend more time with. Talk about what you love doing and show sincere enthusiasm and that energy will attract millions. Show them your enthusiasm through your voice, your body language and your confidence.

5. Your body language plays a role: Avoid the body language that conveys the signals of boredom or disinterest. For instance, crossing your arms at your chest gives an impression that you are disinterested in the other person and don’t want to be talked to, or, sighing heavily conveys the message that you are disgusted or frustrated.

6. Don’t be judgemental; accept the person as he/she is: Pay attention to other’s concerns and try nodding your head as you speak. Generally, people tend to mirror the body language of those around them in order to better understand what other people are feeling. By nodding your head you convey the message that you consider their views to be desirable which makes people more inclined to agree with you.

7. Smile and make an eye contact: The eyes are an incredible part of our body. Making an eye contact with someone tells them that you are engaged in what they have to say and are interested in them. Smile with your eyes, as if you are truly happy meeting or speaking to that person.

However, you don’t need to fake yourself up to get others to like you. Just be yourself and love yourself first. Being yourself however doesn’t mean you can do what ever you wish to, as you cannot be happy if you are not empathic. One needs to balance eastern and western perspectives and live by good values and integrity and others will naturally start liking you.

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