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Emotional Abuse Health Feed

Emotional Problems - How To Tackle Them?

Emotional Problems - How To Tackle Them?

Emotional problems make simple things harder. High feeling, bubbling disappointment and hurt emotions motivate the person. Certain people become very protective. Protectiveness causes us to prey on others. Others might want to disconnect completely and resolve issues in a different manner. Many people manage their emotional issues by opposing, quelling and overlooking them. At this point, your brain feels uneasy and you end up making rash decisions. However, there are ways to deal with emotional problems. These are as follows:

  1. Be aware: Try to stay active and be aware of solid feelings and sentiments. Work on improving them as they show up and quickly misidentify with them. Advise yourself that you are not your feelings and that they are only temporary.
  2. Use labelling: Utilize naming. Research has demonstrated that naming and surveying a feeling changes the feeling into a subject of examination and consequently diminishes its power on you. So in case you are feeling furious, essentially let yourself know that this is you being angry and you will in all probability see that the force of the inclination instantly drops.
  3. Get curious: Rather than opposing the emotions and sentiments, get inquisitive about them. Focus on how they affect you. Where in the body do they show? How do the diverse muscles in your body feel? How is your breath? Hold your emotions and sentiments in present mindfulness and simply let them do their thing without judging or sticking to them. Utilise the possibility of your brain as the sky and your emotions and sentiments as clouds that are passing by.
  4. Face-to-face interaction: Up close and personal social interaction with somebody who thinks about you is the best approach to quiet your nervous system and calm anxiety. It additionally relieves stress-busting hormones, so you will feel better regardless of the possibility that you cannot change the upsetting circumstance itself. The key is to collaborate with somebody who is a decent audience or someone you can consistently talk with face to face, or who will hear you out without a prior motivation for how you need to think or feel.
  5. Exercise and meditationThe brain and the body are inherently connected. When you improve your physical well-being, you will consequently encounter more prominent mental and enthusiastic betterment. Physical movement likewise discharges endorphins, intense chemicals that lift your state of mind and make you happy. Normal exercise or action can majorly affect mental and enthusiastic medical issues, mitigate stress, enhance memory, and help you to rest better.

In case you continue facing this frequently, you will soon find that your relationship with your mind will begin to change. You will build up an intense metacognition (the capacity to face your reasoning) which helps you to handle your emotions and feelings in a great manner.

1617 people found this helpful

Abusive Relationship - How Lethal Is It?

Abusive Relationship - How Lethal Is It?

The effects of an abusive relationship are sometimes not visible until it is too late. While most of you will think of the emotional torture that the person goes through, there is more than what meets the eye. Imagine a female who is in a relationship with a guy who is very strict with finances. She might even be reluctant to ask for money so that she can buy her medicines regularly. For someone with asthma or epilepsy, this could be a devastating situation.

  1. Physical effects: Depending on how aggressive the person gets physically, the injuries could range from bruises to cuts to broken bones. There are instances of head injuries, and most partners suffer through in silence. When regularly subjected to abuse, the person could end up with chronic headaches, back pain, and digestive issues. They may not eat well or eat very poorly, leading to multiple health issues. In some cases, patients even fear to go to sleep as they feel scared of being raped or murdered. Regular medications may not be taken, which is very common and leads to various complications. For instance, not taking regular medications for diabetes can cause various complications.
  2. Emotional: Given that an abusive relationship is often suppressed, there is severe depression and anxiety that is beneath the surface. The person could become suicidal or get into substance abuse. There is low self-esteem and self-confidence in a person who is in an abusive relationship. This is worsened when the person who is abusing is around. The affected person would not be able to make decisions, feels tired, and has no zest for life. Worse is abuser convinces the other person that the problem lies with them. With kids around, the children could be subjected to long-term emotional damage. They could end up being rebels, get into bad company, get into substance abuse, feel neglected socially - and become anti-social.
  3. Social: A person in an abusive relationship often gets into isolation and tries to stay away from family and in particular friends. 

It is never too late to get out of an abusive relationship - seek help from an expert!

3870 people found this helpful

I am 22 years old. I feel I'm totally disturbed mentally and emotionally. I really want to change my self and help my self.

I am 22 years old. I feel I'm totally disturbed mentally and emotionally. I really want to change my self and help my...
Hi you can take bach flower remedy and restore you emotional and mental balance without any side effects. These are medicines prepared from flowers that heals emotional trauma hope this helps.
1 person found this helpful
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I get emotional easily and often misunderstood even by my close ones. Please suggest me.

I get emotional easily and often misunderstood even by my close ones. Please suggest me.
Hello, If you are emotional, it's not a big issue, but try to control emotions. Meditation and running helps you in that. If your close one misunderstand you even if you are doing right, then it's non of your business. Don't focus on that. You never satisfy everyone.
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11 Exclusive Rights For Women Every Indian Needs To Know!

11 Exclusive Rights For Women Every Indian Needs To Know!

We live in a world where goddesses are worshiped and women get tamed, harassed, abused, raped, and kidnapped every single day. Keeping a check on a number of women-related cases, the government of india provides crucial rights to indian women.

" human rights are women's rights and women's rights are human rights, once and for all" - hillary clinton
Unfortunately, many of the women do not know their rights.

On the grounds of gender equality, here are 111 rights an indian woman holds in India -

1. Women have the right to equal pay -
According to the provisions listed under the equal remuneration act, one cannot be discriminated on the basis of sex when it comes to salary, pay or wages.
Working women have the right to draw an equal salary, as compared to men. Women are eligible to get an equal pay under the laws of india.

2. Women have the right to dignity and decency -
In an event that the accused is a woman, any medical examination procedure on her must be performed by -- or in the presence of -- another woman.

3. Women have the right against workplace harassment -
The sexual harassment of women at workplace act gives a female the right to file a complaint against any kind of sexual harassment at her place of work. Under this act, she can submit a written complaint to an internal complaints committee (icc) at a branch office within a period of 3 months.

4. Women have a right against domestic violence -
Section 498 of the indian constitution looks to protect a wife, female live-in partner or a woman living in a household like a mother or a sister from domestic violence (including verbal, economic, emotional and sexual) by the hands of a husband, male live-in partner or relatives.
The accused shall be punished with a non-bailable imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.

5. Female sexual assault victims have the right to keep their identity anonymous -
Protests against rape in india. To ensure that her privacy is protected, a woman who has been sexually assaulted may record her statement alone before the district magistrate when the case is under trial, or in the presence of a female police officer.

6. Women have the right to get free legal aid -
Under the legal services authorities act, female rape victims have the right to get free legal aid or help from the legal services authority who has to arrange a lawyer for her.

7. Women have right not to be arrested at night -
Unless there is an exceptional case on the orders of a first class magistrate, a woman cannot be arrested after sunset and before sunrise.
A woman cannot be arrested before sunrise and after sunset. In addition, the law also states that the police can interrogate a woman at her residence only in the presence of a woman constable and family members or friends.

8. Women have the right to register virtual complaints -
The law gives women the provision for filing virtual complaints via e-mail, or writing her complaint and sending it to a police station from a registered postal address.
Further, the sho sends a police constable to her place to record her complaint. This is in case a woman is not in a position to physically go to a police station and file a complaint. Laws for women in India.

9. Women have the right against indecent representation -
Depiction of a woman's figure (her form or any body part) in any manner that is indecent, derogatory, or is likely to deprave, corrupt or injure the public morality or morals, is a punishable offence.

10. Women have the right against being stalked -
Section 354d of the ipc makes way for legal action to be taken against an offender if he/she follows a woman, tries to contact her to foster personal interaction repeatedly despite a clear indication of disinterest; or monitor the use by a woman of the internet, email or any other form of electronic communication

11. Women have a right to zero fir -
An fir that can be filed at any police station irrespective of the location where the incident occurred or a specific jurisdiction it comes under, the zero fir can later be moved to the police station in whose jurisdiction the case falls under. This ruling was passed by the supreme court to save the victim's time and prevent an offender from getting away scot-free.

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Five Laws Every Woman Must Be Aware Of!

Five Laws Every Woman Must Be Aware Of!

Most of the developed countries of the world have witnessed a massive shift in both the attitudes and inherent thoughts about women’s equality and emancipation.

Women in the west are more secure, liberated and aware to fight the oppression or injustice at any given point of time.

However, in developing countries like India, women are still struggling to get equal rights. It is very painful to witness that in 2018 when the world is moving towards an economic and technological revolution, we are still struggling for equal rights. It is depressing to see that the women in India continue to be ill-treated, oppressed and exploited.

In the context, it’s imperative women are aware of their rights under the law.

I present a list of five laws that you must know of, so that the right action is taken, at the right time.

1. Stalking is punishable. Don’t avoid it, report it.

In one of the many aftermaths of the Nirbhaya case, stalking was added as an offense as section 354d of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) under criminal law (amendment) act, 2013. In a shocking state of affairs, after this ordinance came into effect, as many as 203 men were arrested and 259 cases were registered in the first six months of the enactment of the law, according to a report by Times of India. However, even these numbers are far away from reality.

Stalking is, unfortunately, not given enough attention in India, because of the casual attitude of the society and women getting uncomfortably used to it. “getting-used-to” stems from the idea of self-preservation or being taught, if not actively, to not retaliate in case of any danger.

Stalking is strictly censured as per the criminal law (amendment) act, 2013. Section 354d enables the state to take legal action against the offender.

Even after the law is in place, why do you think the women are not reporting incidents of stalking?

Most women are either intimidated by the stigma of reporting, or by the casual attitude of police officials, who most of the time dismiss such cases as trivial.

If you are being stalked, you can report the crime through an online application to the national commission for women (NCW). Once the ncw is intimated about it, they will take up the case with the police. You can visit the website of NCW. If you are being stalked, and need immediate assistance, you can also dial 1096 or 0111-23219750.

2 Lodge an fir - don’t worry about the jurisdiction

You can only register an fir in the police station of your own jurisdiction or where the crime has been committed. This is one of the primary reasons why police officers often refuse to lodge a fir and ask you to visit a different police station. It often leads to the aggrieved individuals being stressed, frustrated and eventually giving up on even filing the complaint.

But, if you are a woman who seeks to file a complaint, you can file a zero fir. It came as an after effect of Nirbhaya rape case with an intention to initiate the investigation or an action by the police officials without taking the place of crime into account.


3. Sexual harassment at the workplace is not acceptable, report it


As per a recent survey of 6, 074 participants (both male and female) conducted by the indian national bar association, around 38 percent of respondents confessed to being sexually harassed at their workplace. The same report reveals that around 69 percent of respondents decided against complaining to the management.

In addition, 65 percent of the participants revealed that most of the companies did not follow the procedure prescribed under sexual harassment (prevention, prohibition, and redressal) act, 2013 (‘the sh act’).

Sexual harassment at the workplace is more common than it may seem. However, as a woman it is your primary duty to know your rights, keep yourself updated and complain in case of any discomfort. 

4. If you are married that does not mean you can be abused

One of the major stigmas associated with the Indian society is, “irrespective of what happens, the marriage shouldn’t break.” this idea has been glorified in various Bollywood movies, speeches of various politicians and protectors of religion and culture. These ideas are so deeply embedded in the mindset of a majority of women that they often suffer domestic violence without raising a voice.

This situation gives a huge boost to the individuals who demand dowry or subject their wives, daughters-in-law or newly married women to domestic abuse. 
A report revealed that from 2005-2015, 88, 467 women (on an average of 22 women each day) died due to dowry-related cases. In 2015 alone, 7, 634 women were killed over dowry. This situation is worrisome.

Section 498a of the IPC aggressively condemns dowry death. In addition, section 3 and 4 of the prohibition of dowry act, 1961 not only provide for penalty for giving or taking dowry but also for demanding dowry.

The fir once registered makes it a non-bailable offense in order to ensure that a woman’s safety is not put under question and further abuse can be avoided. Any abuse, be it physical, verbal, economic or sexual is covered under section 498a.

5. No one can upload your pictures/videos without your consent

Call it fortunate or unfortunate, but we are living in a world of technology, where the internet has connected thousands of individuals under one umbrella, and cell phones are easily accessible and a mobile camera is in everyone’s pocket.

With the kind of technology available, it is not uncommon to find nude or smutty pictures, indecent videos shared through WhatsApp becoming the biggest nightmare of women. You can easily find changing room videos or maybe the most intimate moment between a couple doing rounds on the internet. As per a report by the news minute, the transmission of obscene content in electronic form witnessed a sudden explosion in the number of registered cases with a 104.2 percent increase from the year 2012 to 2013. The real number could be higher as many victims do not come forward due to fear or embarrassment.

What are the remedies available in such a case?

The first priority is obviously to have the videos or images removed from the portal. You must know that Google has the policy of removing revenge porn or pictures/videos shared without the consent of the victim. You need to directly approach the website that has published your pictures or videos. These websites are subject to laws and are obliged to comply with them. Extorting money for removing the content is equally illegal. You can also opt to get an injunction order from the court so that the images/videos cannot be circulated further.

Section 67 and 66e of the information technology act (it act), deal with punishment for violation of privacy and explicitly forbids capturing, publishing or transmitting the image of a private area of any person without his or her consent. Section 354c of the criminal law (amendment) act 2013, also known as the ‘’voyeurism section’’, criminalizes capturing and sharing images of a woman during a private act.

All you need to do is be bold and go ahead with the complaint. Be assured that the content will be taken down. Rest assured, the law will back you.

In the end, all I can tell you is: I see my mother, sisters, and friends and keep wondering how difficult it might be to be a woman. These challenges can be easily avoided with knowledge, awareness and a little courage.

1 person found this helpful

Art Of Dealing With Problematic People!

Art Of Dealing With Problematic People!

We all have come across the situation where we have to deal with difficult people in our life. Emotional abuse is a worse form of abuse as it destroys your self-esteem. Emotional abuse takes place when an individual intentionally or otherwise, involves in a kind of behaviour that puts other people down and exert control over them. Threats, intimidation, betrayal are a harmful form of emotional abuse which a person can face.

Many examples of emotional abuse are seen as in a parent-child relationship, those faced by co-workers at the workplace, in a sexual relationship. For e.g. In case of a sexual relationship, where the other partner wants to leave the relationship because of the abusive sexual behaviour of his/her spouse, the abuser will manipulate by convincing the partner in threatening, abusive way, by putting you down making you feel guilty. Unwanted sexual acts which would make you feel uneasy like “if you love me you would do this for me” this is beginning of abuse in which partner is trying to take control over others.

Traits of toxic people

  1. Narcissist, criticizer.
  2. Controlling the other persons.
  3. Boaster.
  4. Manipulative and judgemental.
  5. Always wants to prove themselves to you even if they are wrong.
  6. They will try to defend themselves by manipulating in which they are best as they are not interested in your point of view.
  7. Censorious, critical, fault finder.
  8. They will not apologize.
  9. They always force onto relationships.
  10. Everything should go according to their experience.
  11. Liars.
  12. Always talks negatively about other people instead of focusing on good things.
  13. Always tends up hurting others by their actions and are always self-absorbed.
  14. Frequent loss of control over temper

Impact of toxic people on our lives

  1. When you are peace but you suddenly start feeling guilty or being scorned by people who use to care about you chances are you might be manipulated by toxic people.
  2. Low self-esteem.
  3. A feeling that someone is controlling you.
  4. A feeling of shame for no reason.
  5. Avoiding to meet people.
  6. Emotional instability.
  7. A feeling of helplessness.

How to deal with it?

  1. Stay calm don’t take toxic people’s behaviour personally. Walk off if required.
  2. Practice defenceless.
  3. Confront them face to face.
  4. Move on without them. Don’t let their behaviour affect your mental peace.
  5. Don’t have to help them in every crisis, let them deal their own drama. Recognise your strengths and weakness.
  6. Don’t be a victim.
  7. Spend time with your beloved ones who are trustworthy.
  8. Be in charge of your own emotions.
  9. Always focus on the solution rather focusing on the problem.
  10. Stand for yourself when they try to bully you.
  11. Set your limits to respond only when necessary.
  12. Forgive but don’t forget.
  13. Don’t pity yourself.
  14. Take time out for yourself, pamper yourself by taking a break.
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I am basically a nervous person. I can't bear a small accident seen by mine. What I do for to brave person? Please suggest to me.

I am basically a nervous person. I can't bear a small accident seen by mine. What I do for to brave person? Please su...
You need mind control. Mind control and some of its techniques. It’s a term that can have many meanings. Some people think of it as the ability to take control of the mind of other people. I prefer the meaning of controlling your own mind instead. It is the ability to understand and control your feelings, emotions, and behavior. As you do this you have full control of yourself and you can achieve many goals in your life. Also, you will have great self-confidence which is the key to success. All the methods that are used for mind control have the same results. They bring you to a brain-state where you can reprogram your mind. Most of these techniques, when applied, require being active in order to affect you positively. The truth is that it is you making the changes and not the method you are using. The method just helps you reach the appropriate brain-state. Some benefits of mind control are listed below: o develop self-esteem o cure fears o quit bad habits o become spontaneous and social o fight depression o overcome painful situations correct elements of your character o change your reactions o become more intuitive o the silva method I first read about mind control in a book written by jose silva. He has developed a method of mind control. This method is very simple and easy to follow. You just have to train your visualization skill (check my visualization exercises program) and to enter the alpha mind state, where you can change many things about yourself. The key is that in the alpha brain state your subconscious is accessible. The silva method is based on the power of positive thinking. While you get into trance you start visualizing positive thoughts. As your subconscious mind is accessible you can pass these thoughts into it. This can have a dramatic effect on the way you feel. Self-hypnosisself-hypnosis is a more general term for a technique that induces you into a trance. The silva method uses a self-hypnosis technique to induce you into a trance. While the silva method follows a standard path for the production of alpha brainwaves (click here for more info about brainwaves), self-hypnosis is any visualization technique that can bring you to the appropriate brain-state. While you try self-hypnosis you imagine things. You try to imagine and visualize as many details as you can. These details may be colors, textures, temperature, smells and generally whatever sensation you can think of. For example, an example visualization that can induce you very fast into trance is imagining that you are walking in a narrow path with dense vegetation at both sides and far in front of you there is a forest where you can hear birds or animals and the sky is clear with the sun heating the top of your head. All these sensations that you imagine, as you try self-hypnosis, engage your right hemisphere and accelerate the production of alpha brainwaves. Usually, you can get into a trance in a few minutes if you can stay in your imaginary place and feel as many sensations as you can. Well, the difficult part of self-hypnosis is to focus your thoughts on the magical place you are imagining. It’s too difficult to stay in just one thought at the beginning of your relaxation. Many different thoughts tend to go through your mind, as the alpha brainwaves are produced. You can think of it as if you are in a boring classroom. At some point you stop listening to what the teacher says, you feel relaxed and you start daydreaming. This is the desired state you want to be in when you try to mind control. Entering the alpha state is a skill that you can improve by training. You might even become able to get into a trance in a matter of seconds. After some time a deep breath will be sufficient to bring you into a trance. There are many products online that can help you experience self-hypnosis. These are usually audio products like cds or mp3s. Their great advantage over the traditional method of self-hypnosis is that you are guided by a hypnotherapist. Thus, you can just follow the instructions and eliminate the multiple thinking distractions. I have tried such products and I can say they are very helpful. They make self-hypnosis easy, maybe easier than the silva method. You just have to concentrate on the voice and do whatever you are being instructed to. You can, of course, try alone. Check my free self hypnosis instruction for a complete guide. Another way of reaching and maintaining an ideal brain state for mind control is by using brainwave entrainment. Brainwave entrainment brainwave entrainment is when your brainwaves are synchronized to external stimuli. This may be auditory, visual or both. There are special devices that are called mind machines and use both stimuli methods to synchronize your brain. But I have no practical experience with such machines. I will talk mostly about the auditory brainwave entrainment which I have also tested. There are three different technologies of brainwave entrainment. These are: o binaural beats o monaural beats o isochronic tones whatever technology is used, the aim is one: to induce you into a trance. Brainwave entrainment is a powerful way to reach the alpha brain-state. You can go even deeper reaching theta or delta brain-state. At these states, you can control your mind effectively. As long as a session lasts you will remain at the ideal mind state having plenty of time to do your changes. Another powerful way to get quickly into trance is to combine self-hypnosis with brainwave entrainment. Your brainwaves will synchronize to the stimuli and at the same time, you will help the brain to drop its frequency by imagining things. I think this is the most effective way to reach the ideal brain-state for mind control. Controlling the frequency of your brainwaves is also mind control. If you are able to alter the brainwaves consciously then you control your mind. You can become creative, relaxed, alert or sleepy on demand. If you have any experience with brainwave entrainment then please feel free to post your stories in the comments area. Your contributions are of great value to mind-expanding techniques. Active mind control ok, let’s suppose that you reach the ideal state of the mind. What will you do next? It’s a good question if you don’t have a purpose. You are the only one who knows why you want to be in a relaxed state and influence your subconscious mind. You may need to change an annoying aspect of your character, like being anxious easily or being too sensitive. Then, after reaching the desired brain state, you start imagining yourself how it would be if you had not these annoying elements. You observe your new character and affirming that you don’t have anymore these attributes. You close your meditative session always with an action that confirms that you have a new character from now on. This action may be to pass through a door, to step on a particular shape on the ground, to plunge in a pool or anything you like. By doing this often, your subconscious mind gets the message and finally, you change your negative behavior. This is effective mind control and is active. There is also passive mind control. Passive mind control passive mind control can be achieved using subliminal messaging. You don’t have to think of anything, you just have to listen to relaxation music that has integrated subliminal messages. Subliminal messages are affirmations that are included in the track you listen to and you can’t consciously detect them. Their volume frequency is below the limit that the human ear can perceive consciously. These messages go directly to your subconscious mind. Although subliminal messages are supposed to be an effective way to change your mindset and control your sensations and feelings, there is a lot of discussions if they really do work. Some people claim that subliminal messages definitely affect them, others believe that subliminal messaging is based on placebo effects. Anyway, we will try and we will see. Another problem is that you don’t know whether subliminal messaging products are credible. As you cannot hear the hidden messages, you don’t know what they say. Don’t try products that you are not sure about their origin. Lastly, the disadvantage of subliminal messaging is that every session is limited to a unique action. For example, if you want to shut your mouth in order to lose fat, you will listen to a subliminal session for weight loss. There are no sessions where you can make multiple changes to your character at the same time. But, using any of the previous mind control techniques you are able to make as many changes as you want.
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Watch Out Signs Of Relationship Violence!

Watch Out Signs Of Relationship Violence!

Relationships are either delicate or strong, depending upon the bonding with your partner. The bonding depends on various factors. Some of the most essential ones being an emotional attachment, friendliness, sense of ease, mental compatibility and a feeling of sustained emotional support from the relationship. This is applicable to all relationships; be it a relationship with your spouse, a parental relationship with your children, a relationship with your friends, relatives, etc.

Whenever we talk about abusive relationships, we picture black eyes and bruised cheeks. However, violence in a relationship usually doesn’t start with physical harm right away. It begins with subtlety and slowly builds up to mental and sometimes physical abuse. Here are some of the warning signs which should immediately raise red flags that a relationship is abusive or violent. 

  1. Hurting Purposely: If your partner has ever teased you in a hurtful way and said something to hurt you only to put the blame on you for being “too sensitive”, this is a definite sign of emotional abuse that you are going through. Trust your instincts if you feel you should get out of it. Especially, if it is starting to become routine. 
  2. Scaring You: Has it ever happened that your partner has hit a wall or driven at dangerously high speed to scare you? If the answer is yes, you’re in for trouble. This kind of behaviour gets worse! Take the warning and leave!
  3. Finding Faults: Many a times, it happens that your partner may start finding fault in the way you dress, do your hair, wear makeup etc. He might get angry or force you to change your style to suit his way, beware! This will multiply in due course and turn into a dangerous form of domination. 
  4. Spying: Have you ever found out that your partner has checked your personal email, your web usage, computer history or even gone through your bag and personal papers? Take a hint; this is an impending sign that your partner is trying to establish control over your life. 
  5. Lost connection with friends and family: An important warning sign that your relationship is getting abusive is when you have lost connection with friends and family because of your partner! 
  6. "Playful" use of force in sex: Have you been forced to have sex by your partner? Or have you been threatened with violence if you don’t comply with your partner’s wishes? These are all tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship. 

There are no certain ways to tell that particular instances are warning signs of an abusive or violent relationship; the victim might not even realize, but friends and well-wishers must take notice and come forward to help.

2853 people found this helpful

Silent Domestic Abuse Victims - How To Track Them?

Silent Domestic Abuse Victims - How To Track Them?

As much as we would like to ignore it, domestic abuse is a very common problem. Not every woman has the strength to fight against it and confide in someone. As a friend, it is your duty to look out for them. You don’t have to be an expert in psychology to know the warning signs of domestic violence. Here are 8 such warning signs.

  1. She is quiet when he is around: If your friend is normally jovial and suddenly becomes quite when her partner is around, don’t overlook the change. She may be scared of saying something that might upset him and start a fight.
  2. She allows herself to be put down: In almost all cases of domestic violence, the woman is made to feel guilty about everything. This becomes a habit and she loses her will to fight back. If you notice you’re friend allowing her partner to walk over her and put her down, she may be facing abuse at home.
  3. She withdraws from friends and family: Social withdrawal is another major sign of domestic violence. There may be a number of reasons for this; he is too possessive of her, she is injured and scared of letting people see her injuries etc.
  4. Unexplained injuries: Making an excuse that walking into a door caused a black eye isn’t only a scene from the movies. If your friend suddenly starts wearing inappropriate clothes such as long-sleeved tops in summer, she may be a victim of domestic abuse. Look out for such excuses and injuries.
  5. Plans that are frequently cancelled at the last moment: Victims of domestic abuse often make plans, but never keep them. This could be because their partner does not like them going out without them or because she is injured and doesn’t want you to see her injuries.
  6. She has casually mentioned violent behaviour, but dismissed it lightly: Casually mentioning violent behaviour at home could be your friend’s way of trying to tell you that something is wrong. We fear being judged and hence it is sometimes very difficult to speak openly about facing domestic abuse. If you feel a friend is being domestically abused, encourage her to share her problems with you.
  7. Her finances and personal choices are not controlled by her: Domestic abuse victims usually have most of their lives controlled by their partners. This includes finances, choice of clothing, social attendance etc.
  8. The children seem nervous and frequently upset: Children may not say much, but notice a lot. Even if they are not abused, seeing their mother hurt can affect a child and make them moody, withdrawn and upset.
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