26 Male, just married. After few days of marriage my wife introduced an old best friend of her. Although earlier they've proposed each other but due to some reason nothing happened as boyfriend or girlfriend between them. Presently at some personal moment she started comparison between her friend and me, though I respect her friend and had accepted in present situation but being human sometimes I feel that both of them should end their friendship now, not just because now I am married with her but her best friend is married with someone and had a baby but he is not happy with his wife which make me little insecure towards my wife. I trust my wife and had talked about this instead of understanding me she said that she wouldn't ditch me. At this point I feel very low post accepting every bitter truth of her past and her lies which I caught frequently like she says that she did not talked to him but she does but it won't effects me but what really effects me is her lies which she kept saying and when I caught her red handed just because of her stupidity then she says you don't trust me, she's stubborn too. Although we are married but we have just lived only 4-5 days together after marriage. Also our marriage is purely arranged and due to some rituals we live too far from each other almost 800 km away. I do understand in every aspect but she won't which sometimes intends me to think we should separate. Even her family doesn't like her friend and it's none of my business but introduction/ comparison with her best friend with me is making me mad. Don't know what to do also I don't want to lose her but circumstances are making to feel and go so.please help me
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Dear friend I am sure this is a very tough situation for you. Feeling insecure and uncertain in a given situation is absolutely normal. What I am sensing about you is you are aware of your inner dilemma and you want to do something about it. You are open. Relationships are very delicate. It builds on love and trust. You both have not stayed togather much and I am sure being in an arrange merraige you do not know each other as well. Building trust for each other is a slow process. Also your wife must be younger than you so might be little less mature. Mostly she will not continue her relationship with her friend. Once you start staying togather it will be a good chance for both of you to know each other and build your relationship. Right now she might be feeling lonely and insecure in a new place and she doesn't have anyone around from her pre merraige life. She even do not have you close. That is what might be pushing her to hold on to someone from the past. Once you start staying togather. Your bonding will grow and her need for security will be fulfilled in your relationship and support. It is difficult to suggest something specific without talking to you. I have done work on family counselling so if you need feel free you can take help from me and after understanding the situation I would be able to suggest something very specific to work on. Which will give you a direction to build a loving and trusting relationship. Hope this helps keep your positivity and openers alive wishing you very best.
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