I am 49 years old, my wife 45. We have one daughter age 10. She is more educated than me. When we married then his and my income almost same. Now she is college professor. Our love marriage. Her urge for marry more than me. Again and again told her, not to marry me because she is more greater than me. But she refused my request. Our sexual life is good. Now I discovered that she flirt am Bank man age 57. And slept with him. On that night I got news about this affair. At that night She simply lied to me. Now she is with me never went (or I not allowed) to go at man. But I have doubt that she has connection with that man by phone. I tried to connect that man but he never picked my phone. I love my wife. She is only proud of my life. I still love her also. What to do? I am finished. I can not suicide due to my daughter. What I will do?

Dr. Armaan PandeyPsychiatrist10yrs exp

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Betrayal by a spouse is as painful as having a physical trauma. Yes it's unfair and it hurts. Your trust is shattered, you look at everything from a suspicious point of view, you feel insecure in your relationship and develop doubts even about yourself. That said, most marriages survive this blow. The best healer is time. If you two have decided to stay together then you need to be together with an intention to be happy eventually. Right now it won't be possible. But gradually, like any other pain, it will get easier. Your trust will come back if you keep your relationship open and honest, but at the same time respecting each other's boundaries and personal space. Checking your wife's phone or accusing her unnecessarily will not help. Asking her to not meet or talk to any man is ridiculous. Such actions will create more differences between you two. Plus, you will lose your respect. I can see that you have your issues. You have considered yourself inferior to your wife and still do. This is not true. Your educational qualification cannot be the reason for her to cheat on you. She stays with you for her reasons and you stay with her for your reasons. Your inferiority complex is something you have to deal with. For your sake. Lastly, I would say that I am glad you are not considering suicide as an option, even if only for your child. There is another reason to stay alive, you. You deserve good things, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to enjoy life. Hang in there. Professional help is always a call away. Meet a psychiatrist or a counselor for a few sessions. You will not regret it. Take care. 

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