I think I am in depression and somehow have turned to alchohol and cigarettes to counter it. I was a person who would refrain from indulging in things like alchohol. But I feel like a victim who has fallen in the vicious trap. What do I do? I socialise with a lot of people but I hardly have people in my life whom I can call friends. Perhaps that' s because of being cheated by many in the past. I am a very short tempered person and this bad quality of mine has brought a lot of attrocities in my life and has seeded up a lot of unwanted enemies in my life. I have had many druken brawls in the past and that has somehow psychologically affected me. People have started judging me for my alchoholic habbits and loud nature. I have suddenly started to become a quieter gut and that is somehow killing me from inside. There is this senior guy from my college. We sometimes work together. I find peace in his company and somehow I feel he cares for me like he would do for his youmger brother. But I am not sure if that is for real or just another illusion. The work pressure in my college has beening adding to all my problems because I am pursuing my degree in textile design and have lately realised that what I would love to do is graphics. Although this course was not a total waste as they had initially incorporate few elements of graphic designing in the earlier semesters but the last two semesters are more inclined toward textiles than graphics and hence I am finding no. Interest towards this. But again, I am just left to two more semesters to have a degree in hand so I am somehow thinking of completing my college and not dropping out as that would literally give a heart attack to my parents. I really understand the value of life. I want to get out of all my problems but somehow don' t know how. Hence I thought it was better to consult an expert rather than thinking about it all day and yet reaching nowhere.