Yesterday I went to a doctor due to anal pain for the past 3-4 days. He asked me all the symptoms and I told him everything. He gave me a gel and asked me to apply on my point finger and insert it into my anus completely so that I will know if it is smooth or rough and based on that I will know if I have to consult a surgeon. I was shocked I asked him 3-4 times is it what I should do? At last he was like you are grown up you know how to do it. Puzzled I watched online if inserting a finger into anus is possible or not. For my amusement I found a gay person telling how to insert a finger (fingering that is what he said) so I thought it is too dangerous. First time I popped I tried to apply the cream but my finger did not go inside at all. Second time after I pooped I remembered that guy and started using my right hand to you know. Finger went easily. I couldn't control finally. I fapped.�I don't really know if the doctors intention was that. Can anybody help me with this. I know it is really embarrassing. For me to tell this is even more embarrassing but I need some help. I have been on a nofap journey for the past 20 days so this is even more hurting. And also it kind of feels very irritating inside even if there is no pain.