M in a long distance relationship...it has been 8 yrs but frm past 5 yrs we haven't met....m feeling like it's nt working between us anymore bt I love him n don't want to break up....we also have communication gaps too I just don't understand what to talk about. I don't want loose him at the same time I can't cope up with the situations I want the things to work between us...don't knw wht to do???

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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Long distance relationship for 8 years! Wow, that is a long time. What could you talk for 8 years? No wonder you have difficulty finding something to talk about. Then you say that for 5 years you have not met! That too is not a good sign. I suspect that you may be living in a false world of hope. You cannot be in a relationship in which you love him and he does not, or does not commit himself. This is too one-sided. If you love someone like that, that relationship will be a disastrous one for sure. He will disrespect you, take advantage of you and even abuse you. There has to be something reciprocal in every courtship. There may be some insecurity in you to want this boy so desperately under such adverse conditions. Kindly discuss this with a counselor, and see what can be identified and deal with that. If you are still insistent, then have your parents make an official proposal, family to family. You will come to know the truth and how genuine the boy is. Before you do so, tell him your choice of action and see how he reacts, or whether he chooses to react at all. That will give you an indication as to his designs. 

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