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I got a bundle of piled up questions. For my this question I would like a psychologist help, well I would be glad to receive any help from any one I had a crush on a girl who was to responsive to me. But she got engaged with someone else before I could say her about my feeling. Now I want to forget her but she jumps up evey time when I sit to study and get distracted. please help me out of this. My minds totally diverted. Its a common one for us teenagers. please help.
I am 22 years old I am suffering from some kind of laziness every time what can I do to overcome this?
Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.
Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :
- Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
- Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
- Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
- Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
- Let the other person know how you are “feeling”. Start your statements, “I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this”, instead of saying “You hurt/neglect me”. When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
- Focus on the current issue, don’t bring in past situations.
- Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying “I don’t want you to go out now”, say “I would like you to stay at home today”.
- Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
- Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
- Understand everyone’s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
- Understand what change you want.
- Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.
If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.
Stress is an automatic response to psychological threats. It can be in two different ways - the psychological perception of pressure and the body’s response to it. Due to the hormonal changes in the body due to this pressure, the body’s fight or flight response is set in motion.
Stress can be characterized into acute, episodic and chronic. Acute stress is short term stress which does not last long but may have long term effects if ignored. Episodic stress is short term stress but in situations which can be a daily occurrence, such as stressful situations in the workplace. Chronic stress refers to long term stress which has lasted over a long period of time. There are many different causes of stress such as work, relationships, personal appearance, societal norms, bereavement, health worries, major life changes etc. The cause of stress and the degree to which we experience them differs from person to person, with each of us having different levels of tolerance.
1. Practice deep breathing exercises:
One main symptom of stress is staggered breathing. When we experience stressful situations, we tend to breathe faster and more rapidly. Practicing deep breathing helps you normalize your breathing and bring your heart rate back down to normal.
2. Try progressive muscle relaxation:
This concept requires you to consciously identify all the muscles in your body which are tensing and relax them. In order to do this you will have to first consciously tense the muscles in your body and know what that feels like, then relax them and learn what that feels like.
3. Use guided imagery:
Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and try to visualize your ‘happy place.’ This is the place you feel at peace. Imagine the sights, sounds, smells and feel of that place. The next time you feel yourself start to feel stressed try this technique.
4. Make time for hobbies:
We all have so much work to complete in the day or week that we forget to give ourselves some time off. It is important that you take some time off to do things which you enjoy. For example, you may like reading or painting or fishing. Alot a time in the week for you to do these activities. This will help you destress and help put you in a more relaxed state.
5. Be aware of your stressors:
It is important that we identify the things which cause us stress. Once we are aware of our stressors we can consciously make an effort to relax before going into the task. Make a plan before going to tackle the task which is causing the stress.
In most Indian homes, a family is not complete with just one child. Until about a couple of decades ago, a family with a single child was very rare. The most common response would be 'with whom the child will play'. Between the siblings, there is always so much love. Starting from getting attention from the parent to education at all stages of life, this is one relationship which just grows and grows. While it definitely is a feel-good factor, scientifically too, it has been proven to have multiple benefits.
Read on to know some benefits of having siblings and how it can help you stay healthy and positive.
- A constant companion: With a sibling around, there is no need to look for a play or study companion. There is always one available right in the same home. This provides for a happy, healthy equation with a lot of give and take that just extends through life.
- Continuous learning environment: With a sibling around, the learning never stops. There is a constant teacher/mentor-student relationship with the elder one having an upper hand and trying to teach the younger one all sorts of things from using a chalk to spoon to math to magic.
- Sharing begins at home: Whether it is your toys or colours, stationary or chocolates, siblings share a lot of stuff and so from a very young age, there is a behaviour that encourages sharing of all sorts of things. Studies have shown that children with siblings show a lot more sympathy and are more open to sharing things as compared to single children.
- Builds selflessness: The next time you see two siblings, notice how the elder one is always so protective of the younger one. The elder one is willing to give up their chocolate just so the younger one smiles. Similarly, the younger one also would give up a toy so that the elder one is happy. This selflessness is ingrained in children with siblings, which extends into their other relationships too later in life.
- Tougher individuals: Problem solving is something which gets built in early in life when children have siblings. This comes in handy later in life too, which makes them tougher individuals. They are also better skilled at negotiating, good at setting and achieving goals, managing relationships (both professional and personal), and are so more successful.
The relationship with a sibling just continues through life. The above are some pointers as to how having a sibling makes for a happy, healthier, and positive life. Anyone with a sibling would definitely vouch for these!!