Dr. Feroze R Soonawala

For any couple, a honeymoon is a great time to bond, have some of their first memories together and to take their marriage to the next level by consummating it. This is the time many couples see and feel each other not just emotionally, but physically as well that is in a sexual manner. While it can be exhilarating, a lack of knowledge can actually be nerve wracking and the first time expectation and anxiety may ruin your experience. You can even go for a honeymoon package. Here are a few tips to help you handle your honeymoon smoothly.

Sex tip for first timers
As is the case with many couples, the honeymoon may be the first night time two people consummate or have sex with each other or has sex altogether for the first time. Some of the important things you need to remember before having sex for the first time is mentioned below

1. Don’t have high expectations: Remember, it may be the first time when you and your partner are getting intimate and thus, some inhibitions are bound to come up. Think of this first time as a foray into something new rather than expecting to have great sex from the get go. Also, don’t pressure each other into being able to do certain things as it will make things awkward. Think of it as a first time experience and let the things come with the flow as they should.
2. Go slow and experience the whole process rather than quickly getting into penetration: Always remember, sex is much more than just penile-vaginal intercourse and is the whole act of caressing, kissing, foreplay, build up, dirty talk and even the cuddling together afterwards. Go slowly and feel each other and let the tension build. Many couples make the mistake of trying to get straight into sex in excitement and thus miss out on a lot of slow sensual fun.
3. Foreplay is the king: Women, more than men tend to get excited slower and thus foreplay is really important to them. As a man you need to be able to arouse your partner to a point where she is lubricated enough for insertion. First timers make this mistake a little too often. This is especially true during the honeymoon if the woman is experiencing sex for the first time. Thus the male partner should concentrate on foreplay to arouse the woman which will help in having a better experience during sex. Some of the same things mentioned here are applicable for men as well.
   • Sensual kissing on the body, neck and cheeks
   • Nibbling on the neck
   • Playing with the breasts and then licking the nipples
   • Kissing the belly and naval area
   • Playing, caressing, kissing and nibbling the thighs
   • Playing and caressing her back and buttocks
   • Giving oral stimulation
4. Vaginal Insertion: Both the partners should ensure that the woman is lubricated enough for insertion. If she isn’t then either more foreplay is required or you may need to use lubricants. Once penetration has taken place, go slowly with the thrusts and if anyone feels uncomfortable when it becomes harder and faster, stop and wait for a moment to re-adjust. Coming to orgasm isn’t the only end goal and thus pay attention to the experience as well.

Things to help you out

Although you may be on your honeymoon and in a monogamous relationship with your significant other, you still need to take some precautions for the best interest of both the partners. Some of these are mentioned below

1. Use a condom to stop unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Also condoms help in delaying orgasm thus extending pleasure for both men and women.
2. Lubes are your best friend as they help the women become wetter and also help in penetration as well as thrusting. However use water based lubricants as they have the lowest risk of allergic reactions.
3. You can use natural aphrodisiacs such as avocados, chocolates, honey and oysters which can boost your libido. Stay away from alcohol and smoking as it impairs sexual performance and ability.

Some things to remember

1. Anxiety about body or performance: For all men and women, especially first timers, sex can cause performance anxiety as well as shyness and aversion. This is due to self-consciousness arising out of body image issues. You should remember that the person opposite to you is there for the long run and thus wont judge you for what you are. Learn to love your body without being too judgemental about it. Also don’t judge your partner for their flaws as it will only hurt them and cause further aversion.
2. Remember, this is real life not porn: Men, more than women tend to have their first glimpse and understanding about sex by watching pornography. This desensitizes them and makes them think that real sex should be performed in that manner. Porn is made for visual pleasure only. It doesn’t reflect how people can have great sex in real life within a monogamous relationship. Great sex between you and your partner will be unique and hence don’t try to copy or emulate pornography as it will only end in disappointment.
3. Before honeymoon: Talk to your partner before honeymoon and raise the topic about sex. It can be a great tool for arousal, developing attraction as well as for breaking down inhibitions and barriers. Know what both of you may be comfortable with, willing to try certain fantasies of the other partners and what you would absolutely not be into. Setting these boundaries will help you get a realistic perspective of the sexual chemistry between you and your partner.

Following the tips mentioned above will help you have great and mutually pleasurable, satisfying sex. Preparation and understanding beforehand will help you add a spark to your honeymoon which may then continue to light the fires of passion for a long time in your marital life.

With the new fad to eat fatfree foods and remain healthy, the intent is to completely avoid fat. However, it is to be noted that fat is essential for various normal body functions, starting from proper brain functioning to hormone formation. What needs to be avoided is the unhealthy bad fat. Fat contains fatty acids, which are of two types-saturated and unsaturated. When heated, the polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFA) react with the oxygen in the environment and get damaged. These are to be avoided. The saturated fatty acids are relatively strong and do not oxidize or create damage. So, the next time you pick up oils, this is what you need to look at.

The good thing about olive oils is that it mostly contains monosaturated fatty acids (MSFA), which does not oxidize even at high temperatures (almost 180 degree Celsius).Another study showed that with deep frying using olive oil, it takes about 25 hours to produce the same damage as other cooking oils. Olive oil is produced by crushing olives.It can be refined or unrefined based on the amount of free oleic acid (lesser in the unrefined version).The unrefined form is the purer form, which is also known as extra-virgin olive oil. It has the aroma and flavor of olives and characteristic bitter taste.

What it contains: A can of 100 g of olive oil contains the following. Note the high content of monosaturated fat is present, which is highly healthy.

1. Monounsaturated Fat: About 70%
2. Saturated fat:About 13%
3. Omega-6:About 10%
4. Omega-3:About 1%
5. Vitamin E:72% of the RDA.
6. Vitamin K:75% of the RDA.

Some of the health benefits of extra virgin olive oil are listed below:

1. Anti-inflammatory: Heart disease, cancers, diabetes, Alzheimer's are all chronic inflammatory conditions and using olive oil for prolonged periods can reduce the onset and severity of these conditions. The oleic acid acts against the C-reactive protein responsible for spreading inflammation.
2. Antioxidants: The ingredients in olive oil including the anti-inflammatory oleocanthal and oleuropein are known for their antioxidant properties.The latter is what prevents oxidation of olive oil when heated. These have powerful health benefits and can help fight severe diseases.
3. Cardio-friendly: There are various ways in which olive oil helps the heart, some of them being reduced inflammation, preventing blood clotting, lowering blood pressure, improving blood vessel lining, and improves LDL levels.
4. Cancer: With its oxidative properties, it reduces the amount of free radicals in the body, thereby reducing cancer.
5. Brain function: Olive oil also reduces cognitive functioning and reduces formation of beta amyloid which is seen in Alzheimer's disease.

The Mediterranean diet is rich in olive oil and they have inherited these health benefits over centuries.

Sex during pregnancy - is it safe?

If you're pregnant, you may be curious or worry whether it's safe to have sex and how you can go about it. The good thing is, it's perfectly safe to have sex during pregnancy. You might find that your sex drive is uncontrollable during your pregnancy you may go through phases of being very sex driven, and then phases of not wanting sex at all so it's important to know about sex during pregnancy and what you can expect.

While sex is safe for most couples during pregnancy, the most difficult part may be having sex in a way that's enjoyable and comfortable for you particularly if you're far along with your pregnancy. It can take a little time to explore and experiment together to work out what's comfortable and pleasurable for you both, especially if you have a bump in the way! your breasts might feel tender, and it may be uncomfortable if your partner penetrates too deeply, so it might be better to lie on your sides with your partner behind; this way he won't put any pressure on your bump but can penetrate and stimulate you at the same time.

You can also:
- straddle your partner as he lies on his back. This way, there is no pressure on your belly and you can control the pace.
- lie side by side with your partner facing your back, and entering you from behind.
- support yourself on your knees and elbows, and have your partner kneel and enter you from behind.

Be aware that it's common for women to experience some bleeding during intercourse whilst pregnant, especially in their first trimester. This is cause by the normal swelling of capillaries in the cervix, which can burst when irritated during sex. Spotting (random spots of blood) is generally nothing to worry about, however you should mention it to your midwife just to let her know if this does happen. However, if you are ever losing a lot of blood, you should consult your doctor immediately and get checked out at the hospital.

It's important to talk about sex with your partner. Your partner's desire for sex may equally increase or decrease during your pregnancy, and be aware that he might feel very cautious about having sex with the fear of hurting you or the baby, so be sure to communicate what feels good and positions that you're comfortable with. Try experimenting with different sexual positions to find ones that suit you both. It may take time to get used to it, particularly as your bump grows bigger, however there is no reason why you should stop having sex just because of your pregnancy.

If you have any queries or worries, the best thing to do is consult your midwife or doctor and they can offer guidance and reassurance about sex during your pregnancy.