Question

I'm in a relationship from three years I want to marry her but due to inter caste she directly said no to me. I'm crazy for her I loved her more than my parents I have neglected everything for her but she doesn't care. Now I can't live without her I wanted to commit suicide but my parents have lots of hope from me. I can't study every time my. Brain think about her please help me I have my exams after two days.

Dr.Saul Pereira · Accepted Answer

I wish she had told you about the caste problem before you fell in love with her. It now looks like this is a serious reason and her parents and her community may not allow her to get married to anyone outside of her caste. You have to accept this reality and move on. If you tried any other means this might jeopardize her life and yours unnecessarily. Nobody is worth dying for unless you were in an attempt to save them. Your life is very precious and you must want to live for your own sake first. Your parents will be devastated if you did something foolish, and all their efforts to bring you up will have gone completely to waste. It only shows that you can love a person who has just come into your life more than the people who gave you life and spent so many years bringing you up! Surely you do not mean that? Keep the good memories of this girl and learn to live without her. You will find a very suitable girl when you are well educated and a great success in life. For you to feel this level of despair it can only mean that there is some weakness in your personality. This is something for you to work on with a counselor and develop a good personality. If however, this is final, then remove all associations of hers: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get her out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don’t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a girl friend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with her. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over her. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is unfortunately a very bad habit many of us have – we must still respect her reputation and treat her with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you that suicidal thoughts are also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and she is not the only girl in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. This time choose wisely and behave like a true gentleman.

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