Dr. R Grover

There are a lot of misleading information going around, especially online. So all that you read online, may not be correct. Sex is a topic that has been much hushed about, thus leading to the birth of many baseless rumours and embarrassing myths. Don’t believe in every single detail you come across online, they have got their own glitches. But hey! You do need to know the truth about it all, and this article tries to do just that.

Here are a few embarrassing myths and facts about sex which you may come across:
1. Myth: You do not get pregnant the first time you have sex
Fact: You can get pregnant anytime after you have penetrative sex. There is no such stipulated count or time as to when you get pregnant. The moment you have penetrative sex, certainly without any protective measure, the chance of pregnancy goes up.

2. Myth: Men think and want more of it as compared to women.
Fact: This is not true. The desire for intimacy and sex varies among individuals, irrespective of the gender.

3. Myth: Having sex in a pool drastically reduces the chances of contracting any STD.
Fact: Generally, maximum STDs are contracted by coming in sexual contact or through unprotected sexual intercourse. Having sex in a pool with a person already infected with any STD will automatically up your chance of contracting the STD as well. Water cannot prevent the transmission of any STD.

4. Myth: Douching after indulging in sexual intercourse can prevent a pregnancy.
Fact: Douching is definitely not a method to prevent pregnancy. And it’s about time this myth gets busted. Douching with soda, water or any other fluid can only guarantee infections in the genitals and nothing more. This is because douching disrupts the natural balance of the vaginal bacteria, thus also disturbing the pH balance of the vagina. The only way you can prevent a pregnancy is by using protection or taking birth control pills if you’ve had unprotected sexual intercourse.

5. Myth: It isn’t possible to contract STDs if you just have oral sex.
Fact: While it is true that maximum STDs are spread through unprotected vaginal intercourse, there are certain STDs, the transmission of which might not be only dependant on vaginal penetration. STDs such as HPV, Herpes and Syphilis can spread even if you just have unprotected oral sex. So, even if it is oral sex that you want to enjoy, do not give the protection a miss. Dental dams are always available at your disposal; using which might curb risks of such STDs.

For any couple, a honeymoon is a great time to bond, have some of their first memories together and to take their marriage to the next level by consummating it. This is the time many couples see and feel each other not just emotionally, but physically as well that is in a sexual manner. While it can be exhilarating, a lack of knowledge can actually be nerve wracking and the first time expectation and anxiety may ruin your experience. You can even go for a honeymoon package. Here are a few tips to help you handle your honeymoon smoothly.

Sex tip for first timers
As is the case with many couples, the honeymoon may be the first night time two people consummate or have sex with each other or has sex altogether for the first time. Some of the important things you need to remember before having sex for the first time is mentioned below

1. Don’t have high expectations: Remember, it may be the first time when you and your partner are getting intimate and thus, some inhibitions are bound to come up. Think of this first time as a foray into something new rather than expecting to have great sex from the get go. Also, don’t pressure each other into being able to do certain things as it will make things awkward. Think of it as a first time experience and let the things come with the flow as they should.
2. Go slow and experience the whole process rather than quickly getting into penetration: Always remember, sex is much more than just penile-vaginal intercourse and is the whole act of caressing, kissing, foreplay, build up, dirty talk and even the cuddling together afterwards. Go slowly and feel each other and let the tension build. Many couples make the mistake of trying to get straight into sex in excitement and thus miss out on a lot of slow sensual fun.
3. Foreplay is the king: Women, more than men tend to get excited slower and thus foreplay is really important to them. As a man you need to be able to arouse your partner to a point where she is lubricated enough for insertion. First timers make this mistake a little too often. This is especially true during the honeymoon if the woman is experiencing sex for the first time. Thus the male partner should concentrate on foreplay to arouse the woman which will help in having a better experience during sex. Some of the same things mentioned here are applicable for men as well.
   • Sensual kissing on the body, neck and cheeks
   • Nibbling on the neck
   • Playing with the breasts and then licking the nipples
   • Kissing the belly and naval area
   • Playing, caressing, kissing and nibbling the thighs
   • Playing and caressing her back and buttocks
   • Giving oral stimulation
4. Vaginal Insertion: Both the partners should ensure that the woman is lubricated enough for insertion. If she isn’t then either more foreplay is required or you may need to use lubricants. Once penetration has taken place, go slowly with the thrusts and if anyone feels uncomfortable when it becomes harder and faster, stop and wait for a moment to re-adjust. Coming to orgasm isn’t the only end goal and thus pay attention to the experience as well.

Things to help you out

Although you may be on your honeymoon and in a monogamous relationship with your significant other, you still need to take some precautions for the best interest of both the partners. Some of these are mentioned below

1. Use a condom to stop unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Also condoms help in delaying orgasm thus extending pleasure for both men and women.
2. Lubes are your best friend as they help the women become wetter and also help in penetration as well as thrusting. However use water based lubricants as they have the lowest risk of allergic reactions.
3. You can use natural aphrodisiacs such as avocados, chocolates, honey and oysters which can boost your libido. Stay away from alcohol and smoking as it impairs sexual performance and ability.

Some things to remember

1. Anxiety about body or performance: For all men and women, especially first timers, sex can cause performance anxiety as well as shyness and aversion. This is due to self-consciousness arising out of body image issues. You should remember that the person opposite to you is there for the long run and thus wont judge you for what you are. Learn to love your body without being too judgemental about it. Also don’t judge your partner for their flaws as it will only hurt them and cause further aversion.
2. Remember, this is real life not porn: Men, more than women tend to have their first glimpse and understanding about sex by watching pornography. This desensitizes them and makes them think that real sex should be performed in that manner. Porn is made for visual pleasure only. It doesn’t reflect how people can have great sex in real life within a monogamous relationship. Great sex between you and your partner will be unique and hence don’t try to copy or emulate pornography as it will only end in disappointment.
3. Before honeymoon: Talk to your partner before honeymoon and raise the topic about sex. It can be a great tool for arousal, developing attraction as well as for breaking down inhibitions and barriers. Know what both of you may be comfortable with, willing to try certain fantasies of the other partners and what you would absolutely not be into. Setting these boundaries will help you get a realistic perspective of the sexual chemistry between you and your partner.

Following the tips mentioned above will help you have great and mutually pleasurable, satisfying sex. Preparation and understanding beforehand will help you add a spark to your honeymoon which may then continue to light the fires of passion for a long time in your marital life.