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Dr. Nisha Khanna  - Psychologist, Delhi

Dr. Nisha Khanna

87 (51 ratings)
Ph. D - Psychology

Psychologist, Delhi

18 Years Experience  ·  5000 at clinic  ·  ₹5000 online
Book appointment and get ₹125 LybrateCash (Lybrate Wallet) after your visit
Dr. Nisha Khanna 87% (51 ratings) Ph. D - Psychology Psychologist, Delhi
18 Years Experience  ·  5000 at clinic  ·  ₹5000 online
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Personal Statement

I pride myself in attending local and statewide seminars to stay current with the latest techniques, and treatment planning....more
I pride myself in attending local and statewide seminars to stay current with the latest techniques, and treatment planning.
More about Dr. Nisha Khanna
Dr. Nisha Khanna is a well renowned and popular Psychologist based in Sarvapriya, Vihar, Dehli. She has had an experience of 16 years in the field of psychology. She has completed her Ph.D in Psychology. Currently she is based at her clinic in Sarvapriya Vihar, Delhi. Dr. Nisha Khanna has specialized as a psychotherapist and a counseling psychologist. She has completed her Ph.D in Psychology from Guru Nanak Dev University in the year 2000. She specializes in treating abnormal behavior, adult counseling, anger management therapy, thought problems counseling, stress management, drug de-addiction treatment, nicotine de-addiction, obsessive compulsive disorder treatment, patient counseling and premarital counseling. Dr. Nisha Khanna also specializes in Marriage Counseling. She forms an uncanny and amazing insight with her patients whom she regards as her friends and followers. She helps couples and individuals from every walk of life. Dr. Nisha Khanna also provides services for problems such as personality disorder treatment, relaxation techniques, divorce counseling, sleeping techniques, parent counseling, domestic violence, legal counseling, anger management, stress management and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

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Education
Ph. D - Psychology - Guru Nanak Dev University - 2000
Languages spoken
English
Hindi
Awards and Recognitions
EQ Fellow Certification
EQ Profiler Certification
EQ Assesser Certification
...more
Certified Accredited Prepare Enrich India Facilitator
Professional Memberships
Delh­i Ps­y­ch­iatric S­ociety­ (DPS­) N­­ew­ Delh­i
Ind­ia­n A­s­s­ocia­tion of Fa­m­­il­y­ Th­er­a­py­ (IA­FT) Ind­ia­
In­dian­ C­oun­c­il­ of As­trol­ogic­al­ S­c­ie­n­c­e­s­ (IC­AS­) C­h­e­n­n­ai
...more
Head­i­ngt­on I­nst­i­t­ut­e’s CARD­ D­i­rect­ory (Counsell­ors Assi­st­i­ng Rel­i­ef &­ D­evel­opm­­ent­) Cal­i­forni­a

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8/13, First Floor, Near Hauz Khas Metro Station & Panchsheel Flyover, Sarvapriya ViharDelhi Get Directions
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"Prompt" 1 review "Well-reasoned" 3 reviews "Caring" 1 review "Very helpful" 7 reviews "knowledgeable" 2 reviews "Thorough" 2 reviews "Practical" 1 review

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How To Get Over A Bad Breakup?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
How To Get Over A Bad Breakup?

With the amount of time and energy that we invest in a relationship, it is always difficult to see it come to an end. But as the adage goes, life must go on, and so it is important to move on. Once you break up a relationship, take a while to look back at the good memories and important lessons of the relationship and get over it. In most cases, the fault is with neither person – it is just the compatibility between the two individuals which probably was just not good enough. Therefore, though there could be the usual blame-games, it is best to agree that it is time to move on and go about it.

Some of the ways to get over a breakup are listed below-

What works for one person may not work for another. It also depends on how mature a person is and how much they were into the relationship.

  1. Stay away: With a bad breakup, it is not possible to stay friends, at least immediately after the breakup. Give it some time, and maybe later you can look at it. But, soon after the breakup, get out and away from your ex. Good or bad, memories will haunt you and never allow you to move on.
  2. Clean up: Your room and office space could be holding a lot of memories from your relationship – be it pictures or gifts. Clear these off and see your mind unclutter. These things will keep triggering your memory and reminding you of the various aspects of the relationship
  3. Get busy: With a bad breakup, the best remedy is to get busy. This ensures you do not keep thinking about the relationship and divert your energy and attention elsewhere. Get into that music class which you always planned to. Join a salsa dance class or begin exercising. Whatever it is, keep yourself busy.
  4. Be happy: Find out what makes you happy (other than the partner you just broke up with) and indulge yourself. For a while, it is okay to indulge in your favourite foods too.
  5. Console yourself: Tell yourself that you deserve better and you will get back to life in a far, better manner. Find things that make you happy and go about it. There are people who even take a break-up holiday to overcome the pains of a bad breakup.
  6. Chide the partner: This may sound childish, but pick on their bad habits and look at them in an exaggerated fashion. It will help you understand what you got away from, for instance, a short-tempered person.

Give it a few days, and then… move on!!!

4 people found this helpful

Silent Treatment- Stonewalling!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Silent Treatment- Stonewalling!

Stonewalling is a term that was developed by psychologist Dr John Gottman, who specializes in relationship research and therapy. Stonewalling means when a person “withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded”.

Stonewalling is when a person withdraws from a conversation and refuses to deal with concerns. Stonewalling occurs when individuals tends to completely decline to communicate or cooperate. Stonewalling is different from rare timeout, stonewalling occurs when an individual is absolutely denies another partner’s perspective. Stone walling occurs in various situations. Both verbal and non-verbal behavior can be an indicator of stonewalling. Stonewalling is considered to be a manipulative technique and it can hamper the relationships.

Communication is considered to the essence of every relationship. When one or both partners engage in stone walling, this reflects that the couple refuses to communicate their feelings. Communication is considered to be the essence of every relationship. Thus stone walling tends to outweigh the positive effects of communication and leads to vicious cycle where couples avoid discussing about their concerns.

Stonewalling can be considered to have psychological as well as physiological effect. Stonewalling is considered to be a form of fight or flight responses. It is considered to be a controlling tactic that can lead to emotional abuse. Stonewalling is ineffective and can damage your relationship. The problem of stonewalling is seen not only between the couples but also exist in families.

Stonewalling is considered to closing stages to communication and can appear to be hurtful to the person who is at the receiving end. It can create feelings of abdondonment and detachment in the relationship.

Despite the fact whether stonewalling is intentional or not but the message it conveys can be still very hurtful as it tend to show that your partner is  not worth responding to and their thoughts and feelings also don’t matter.

While stonewalling many times occurs in the form of coping mechanism, it can have catastrophic implications when it is used over period of time.

Stonewalling or Silent treatment can be most destructive pattern of communication that destroys relationship because it can create feeling of loneliness and rejection. Stonewalling can be frustrating, unbearable and isolating for individuals who are at receiving end.

When people engage in stonewalling is to avoid dealing with the situation, to get attention, to show power and to express anger. Every individual experiences conflict in their relationship and every couple should resolve the issue sooner rather than later. No couple can ever be conflict free. Happy couples are those who know how to deal with problems when they arrive. Showing love and affection can really help couple win the battle.

A relationship marked by recurrent stonewalling behavior can cause suffers tremendous rift between the two partners. Unless the couple, doesn’t learn how to communicate with each other more productively the problems will continue to persist. The partners become more distant from each other and the intimacy declines. They may continue to live their lives without sharing any activities or interests with each other.

Relationships can be tricky. They require a lot of patience and good communication. Many times the problem arises when the couple avoids dealing with the problem which can cause deterioration in the relationship. It is essential for the couple to learn and grow along side.

No matter what the reason is behind stonewalling it is important to communicate rather than shutting all the means of communication.

If you recognize that your partner is stonewalling you, it is also essential to understand that how you may be contributing to the problem and take steps in the desired action. When the problem seems to get out of control seek help from professional marriage counsellor or relationship expert in order to improve self-esteem and communication skills is essential.

4 people found this helpful

Are you Responding or Reacting?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Are you Responding or Reacting?

Many times response and reaction are considered to be synonyms but that’s not true. Although people believe that difference might be small, but the effect it has in our lives and relationships is very significant.

Reaction is an automated and instant. It comes out of past conditioning which most of time is mechanical. Thus, memory plays an important role in this interaction and knowledge. It is always poor in a fresh and new situation. Reaction neither changes the situation nor it changes you and most of the time ultimately you will be an utter failure.

On the other hand response is from moment to moment and is non-mechanical. When a person responds they, see the situation with clarity. Such individuals tend to be clean, clear, serene and silent. Response is an action that an individual has never done before. The beauty of response is that it suits the situation and it is a joy to know it leads to spontaneity. Person doesn’t have to learn response; it comes out of its own accord. It is non- mechanical and comes out of person’s presence, awareness and consciousness. So, in response an individual simply follows his/her awareness level. It tends to function like a mirror as it reflects the situation. Response is not related to memory or past experiences of similar situations. Rather response is about repeating past but acting fresh and new in every situation.

If a person responds with awareness then whatever response the persons gives it is most of the time right. When you lose your awareness then you react and whatever you do turns out to be wrong. So response comes from oneself where as reaction is created by other person. An unconscious person reacts whereas a wise person is able to simply observe the emotions as they arise rather than acting on them mechanically.

Response is not instant and comes slowly. It is considered to function more on moral basis as it takes into account the well-being of other individual and also looks at the long term effects. It is essential for individuals to learn how to respond to situations rather than how to react. This can help people to build better relationship and also can learn the art of communication. Rather than reacting, the person should listen carefully first and then respond.

 We often react without thinking and it is more defensive. It’s a gut reaction, often based on fear and insecurities, and it’s not the most balanced or suitable way to act. Responding, is taking the situation in, and deciding the best course of action based on values. In reaction emotions tend to stir up feelings in an individual leading an individual to react. Well in response emotions do not play a major role rather individuals tend to follow logic and reason.

It takes years to learn to respond rather than to react. Learning this is an art and can take years but it has positive effect in life. The responsive mode of your brain can be activated, encouraged, and reinforced through practices such as regress workout, brain storming sessions, mindfulness and meditation. We all experience plenty of negative situations. The answer is to be prepared to consciously respond to these negative inputs.  Choosing to respond instead of reacting helps we to demonstrate reliable reactions which increases predictability for others and reduces stress when they interact with us.

Ways To Stress-Free Your Weekend!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Ways To Stress-Free Your Weekend!

You had a hectic week and by the time weekend rolls in, all you just want to do is kick back and sleep. But in the blink of an eye, the weekend’s gone and you feel stressed because you wasted it. The weekdays are all about your work and the weekends should be about you. So, here are some tips to de-stress your weekend:

  1. Do some yoga: Yoga is a relaxing and calming activity. So bring out your yoga mat and stretch or meditate. You would feel your stress levels dropping immediately!
  2. Hang out with an old friend: Call up an old friend and go check out that new café you have heard so much about. Unwind over a cup of lazy afternoon coffee and you would be surprised how happy you feel afterwards.
  3. Sweat your stress out: If yoga isn’t your thing, hit the gym and sweat it out by doing some cardio or playing your favourite sport. Being active prevents heart diseases and helps you lose weight while making you happy and relaxed as well!
  4. Potluck dinners: Host a dinner where every one of your guests brings something to eat thus, cutting down on your stress of preparing a lavish spread. And you get to socialise in plenty too.
  5. Trying new recipes: Read an interesting recipe somewhere over the week? Why don’t you try it out this weekend? Cooking or baking can be great therapeutic activities.
  6. The importance of being idle: Do nothing or pick up a book, watch a movie to relieve your stress. This is your “me” time, so do what you want to relax.
  7. Long walks: Not only it is a good thing for your heart, walking is amazingly de-stressing. So when you do your errands this weekend, walk instead of driving everywhere.
  8. Sitcoms: A good laugh can help you relax. So put on your favourite comedy show, or check out the show your friend recommended.
  9. Limit your chores: Don’t spend all your weekend doing chores, instead do all of them in the mornings so you can keep your afternoons free. This will keep your mind blessedly unoccupied.
  10. Prepare a to-do list: Yes, the last thing you need to do is prepare for the work week ahead, but making a to-do list can be relaxing, especially if you have a lot on your mind.
3468 people found this helpful

Stress Busting Exercises To Maintain A Perfect Health!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Stress Busting Exercises To Maintain A Perfect Health!

Stress is a very common factor for all working people. Work, home and taking care of the child all together causes great amount of stress in people. Exercising makes the body release endorphins, which are stress fighting hormones and help in relieving stress. There are various types of exercises which a working woman can do.

  1. High energy activities: High energy aerobic exercises lead to an increased heart rate, which results in production of more endorphins that make the body fight stress naturally. They include running, skipping, dancing, etc. These also improve physical and mental health.
  2. Yoga: Yoga is excellent for stress relief. It involves movement and stationary poses or postures, along with breathing exercises. Yoga enhances the body's natural response to relaxation, making your life healthier.
  3. Tai Chi: Tai chi involves a series of flowing movements of the body along with breathing. Having its roots in martial arts, Tai Chi provides efficient stress relief.
  4. Pilates: This exercise involves a series of movements and exercises performed on a mat. Pilates enhance strength, flexibility, endurance and immunity of the body.
  5. Martial arts: Martial arts is an effective way of unleashing energy and venting out frustration, which result in reducing stress. There are different forms of martial arts to choose from, which include Judo, karate, Taekwondo and several others.
  6. Kick boxing: Kick boxing reduces stress to a great extent and involves punching and kicking, which is performed with discipline. Kickboxing incorporates a rigorous workout schedule and is a great way to vent out frustration and energy, releasing stress.
  7. Team sports: Team sports are an ideal way to relieve stress, work out and have fun, altogether. Playing tennis, cricket or football offers a double amount of stress relief. Playing with your family will encourage bonding, fun and help in relieving stress together.
  8. On the go exercises: Several exercises such as running or jogging and cycling allow you to have a break, breathe some fresh country air and get your mind freshened up. Along with the release of energy, travelling across beautiful places helps in stress relief.
  9. Meditation: Meditation is an amazing mind exercise for stress relief. It requires great concentration and must be performed in a quiet atmosphere. Peace of mind is obtained.
  10. Gym activities: A gym has a lot of exercising instruments and devices. They involve power and strength and energy is unleashed. This is an ideal vent for anger and frustration, which results in great stress relief.

 People face a lot of stress, which arise from various aspects of life, including work, home and children. Stress busting exercises should be practised to maintain a perfect mental health.

3727 people found this helpful

Role of Understanding in Marriage/Relationship!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Role of Understanding in Marriage/Relationship!

Men and Women are different and so are their demands. In order to work through marriage, it just doesn’t require love but also a level of right understanding. When you completely understand and realize your role in a relationship, you become more contended. In such a stable atmosphere you tend to grow closer.

Many times we tend to love our partner but we are not able to understand them. Love is just not enough to work through the relationship in today’s scenario. Understanding is a multifaceted concept. It essential for couple to learn each other’s needs and wants. Every marriage requires the couple to walk on the same track rather than on parallel ones.

Having right understanding is considered to be one of the basic aspects of being happy in a marriage. Thus, people who are high in EQ are not just able to understand their own emotions but those of other’s as well. This quality helps them to form better relationship with others. On the other hand, lack of understanding can stir up negative emotions.

1. Communication

Communication helps to open the path to right understanding. Only when you’re able to communicate what you desire and what you expect from each other, you’ll be able to reach to same level. One of the reasons for lack of understanding is because of power struggle. When power struggle comes in between couple they become emotionally charged and the ego tends to set in. Thus the couple tends to put each down.

Listening is an essential part of communicate; it is essential on the part of the partner to listen and comprehend what the spouse has to say rather than jumping to conclusions. It is necessary to pay attention to what the partner has to say.

2. Compatibility

The other reason can be compatibility problems, no matter how hard the couple tries; they are just not able to come to a common ground. However, if your partner is not supportive, it leads to less communication and can strain relationship both now and in the future. Thus, this is an unhealthy dynamic in any relationship and needs to be addressed to prevent damage or conflict. It is believed and portrayed by various movies and shows that the husband and wife are barely able to take a joint decision and are always bickering over small petty issues, which can be pointed to lack of understanding.

3. Emotional State

It is important on the part of the spouse to pay attention to partner’s emotional state and also provide an opportunity to let confide. Doing activities together and inspiring each other at every step to move forward can lead to happiness in marriage and makes the bond stronger.

4. Mutual Decisions

Listen to each other and try to take mutual decisions. Also, give each other the room to work things out. Take good care of details for each other. Also, try to together work out a schedule and dependably accomplish it.

In order to develop a stronger relationship, the couple should try and understand the root cause from where the problem arises. In case spouse is emotional and delicate, it is important to lend a sympathetic hand.

5. Empathy

When you try to appreciate one another, it can lead to new hope and you become eager to work on your marriage. Empathy is very essential to restore the level of understanding, only when you can put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to comprehend their viewpoint.

Understanding can be associated to very basic day to day activities or can be related to any major event in life. Many times even if a partner makes the effort to be a little understanding, the other partner is not appreciative of the fact and takes it for granted which can arise many new issues.

Lacking the right understanding can lead to unhappiness and discords. Due to that sometimes couple struggle through out married life. So, we need to have the right understanding to resolve the disagreements at all level n earliest too. Every individual has some sort of understanding but having the right kind of understanding is what makes couple stronger.

It is important to address the conflicts when they arise rather than ignoring the issues. Delay will lead to the piling up of issues and may become difficult to resolve. Don’t wait to seek a relationship expert or professional marriage counsellor when problems get out of hand.

Reasons For Lack of Emotional Intimacy!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Reasons For Lack of Emotional Intimacy!

Emotional Intimacy is an important aspect of interpersonal relationship and focuses on the level of emotional bond that the couple shares. For a marriage to work emotional intimacy is as important as sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy can instill positive feelings and can lead to better relationship. On the other hand lack of emotional intimacy can lead to feeling of loneliness and emptiness in either of the partner and tend to distant themselves from each other.

1. Lack of Self-Awareness

Every partner needs to identify and understand about their own needs which could range from need to be heard to the need of being touched. Many times we are not able to understand that what we desire from oneself which can make it difficult to understand the needs of the partner too.

2. Lack of expression

This problems, arises due to communication problems. We are in many situations not able to understand how and when should be put across our expectations and desires. It is important to understand that “How”, “When”, Where” and “How much” to put across.

3. Fear

Sharing about things that you fear is also essential. Many times the couple is not able to share openly because the partner doesn’t want to lose individuality and also in many cases the partner feels that the spouse won’t be able to understand the feelings. In a relationship partner tends to go through two types of fear. First, to lose their own individuality and the other one is to lose their partner. Rather than staying in the gray area, it is important to move forwards and share such feelings with one another.

4. Stress

Stress can cause fatigue and leave people tired. It leaves the person drained with no strength to sit and communicate. Under stressful situation people tend to like to have their own space, in order to clear mind. This soon becomes vicious circle, where rather than communicating about the problem, partners take an easy road of keeping things to themselves.

5. Trust

Trust is very important that binds two people together. It is important to trust each other and share every minute detail. Many times people are in dilemma regarding whether to share their heart out or not, this is mainly due to the fact partner feels that the spouse doesn’t have the intention to understand or lacks the potential to do so.

6. Disagreement

Too many arguments can have negative effect on marriage. When the disagreement issues are on the rise, people tend to feel that their partner is not able to understand and support their viewpoint. As a result the couple might feel that they are incompatible with each other and does not feel necessary to even share about their life as there is no agreement n trust.

7. Low self-esteem”

Many times low self-esteem can influence the emotional intimacy. It is common not only for men but also for women to have low-esteem. It can take a toll on person’s relationship and can create certain inhibitions that they find difficult to resolve. When the person is criticized by their partner for petty things this can create a feeling of low self confidence. With time this turns into a vicious cycle where partner doesn’t connect spouse with fact of being disapproved again.

8. Resentment

Feelings of resentment can be due to unresolved issues in your relationship. It can be make them pull away and withdraw affection and make them emotionally distant. If there aren’t any evident issues that you can think of, then the fact that your partner may feels unacknowledged may lead to major trouble.

Lack of emotional intimacy can be due to variety of reasons rather than forming strong conclusion about the same, discussing with your partner can help to reach a solution. Listening can actually accelerate the communication and also helps your spouse to open up. It is good to know that all of these factors can be repaired to restore the relationship back to being emotionally satisfying. It is very essential to open up and disclose your deepest thoughts and emotions so that you constantly learn about yourself and partner, so that the connection becomes stronger.

When a couple is having an emotional discord in their relationship/marriage, seeking help from relationship expert or a professional marriage counsellor is very essential. Lack of emotional intimacy can instill feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, infidelity, blame game and so on.Thus, seeking help from a Marriage counsellor can help you solve these issues.

3 people found this helpful

Premarital Counseling & Reasons Why You Should Do It!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Premarital Counseling & Reasons Why You Should Do It!

We as individuals are unique and blessed with independent thoughts and intellect, which help us in making decisions in life. One of the biggest decisions in life that we have to make is choosing a life partner. We may have to go through several proposals and meet lots of people before we are able to make this crucial choice and select an ideal partner to spend the rest of your life with. Many times, such decisions are made sooner and at sometimes we may have to seek the opinion of our friends, relatives and well-wishers to be able to find the perfect match.

In all cases, what really matters is that the relationship that we have build has to be strong enough to last a lifetime and that if there is any problem between the couple, they should be able to resolve it amicably, with understanding and maturity. In order to forge relationships that can last, the beginning of the association has to be crucial. There are a number of ways in which you can ensure that the beginning is smooth and that the rest of your lives are also spent in happiness.

The importance of counselling
In the modern times, when couples expect a lot more than couples of the olden times, it becomes extremely important to make sure that the couplevisits a marriage counsellor in time and is given an opportunity to get to know each other in a better manner. Here are a few ways in which counselling may be a boon for newly acquainted couples who are to get married.

  1. The counselling may help them realise their similarities and also understand what their strong points as a couple
  2. The session of understanding each other may also aid in knowing what they expect from each other in the long term rather than finding out the difficult way.
  3. It may also help in understanding the importance of amicable family relationships and how close and extended families help in the making of long and strong relationships.
  4. The pre-marriage counselling provided to couples also ensures that they are able to get a healthy and transparent forum to be able to know each other and understand what they can expect from life if they are together.

Getting the right kind of help
Although parents and elders usually advise the couple before they get married, it is important to make sure that formal counselling is also received from an expert in the field of psychology. When you choose to go to a worthy and trusted expert, you are able to ensure that the best methods of opening up to each other are used and that the session remains fruitful for the couple as well as their families in the long term.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

3972 people found this helpful

Happily Ever After - How Can You Actually Make It Work?

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Happily Ever After - How Can You Actually Make It Work?

Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding; and not binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on HOW you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticize and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn’t! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don’t happen your way but have you tried to ‘express’ your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships result in frustrations, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is upto us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the ‘progress’ in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not “upto it”. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A ‘No’ from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don’t want to do that right now! –feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

  1. Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
  2. Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example - I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you’re taking the onus on you.
  3. Attack the issue; not each other!
  4. Refrain from the 4 C’s : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
  5. Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
  6. Using “I feel” statements are better over “You are…” ones. When you say I feel, you’re taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
  7. Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that…) & ‘Gunnysacking’ (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
  8. No engaging in ‘Summarizing self-syndrome’ where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other’s perspective, feeling frustrated.
  9. Cut back on ‘Catastrophizing’ i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
  10. No sending ‘double messages’- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.

Our mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work unless it’s open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner’s perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to wellbeing as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth.

Marriage Counselling can be of huge benefit to any relationship, regardless of the nature or severity of your problems. Some of the major ways in which couples counselling can benefit your relationship is in the areas of:-

– improved communication,
– revitalizing your emotional connection and
– re-negotiating your commitments.

Couples generally come to couples counselling when they realise that their relationship is in some kind of trouble. So, it is always good to visit a counsellor when you have problems.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

4227 people found this helpful

Frustration - 4 Easy Ways To Overcome It!

Ph. D - Psychology
Psychologist, Delhi
Frustration - 4 Easy Ways To Overcome It!

In some cases, frustration can tend to be positive and can give you another perspective or view on things. It can also give you the ability to continue going further until you achieve your objective. However, there are times when you are going in circles and the dissatisfaction makes you frustrated and this frustration can cloud your mind and judgment. To avoid that from happening, there are certain approaches that will help you overcome your frustration:

  1. Be present in the moment: When you are frustrated, you tend to think about a lot of things. This keeps the individual completely occupied with different kinds of thoughts. Even if you try to avoid it or distract yourself, you again start to remember a disappointment from your past. You need to snap out of those thoughts and calm yourself down by centring your brain and thoughts on what is presently going on around you. You can do so in the following ways:
  2. Concentrate on relaxing: Take a seat, close your eyes and simply concentrate on the live events and concentrate on them for one to two minutes. Take quiet and marginally deeper breaths than regular and inhale with your stomach and not the chest. Concentrate on what is around you as of now. The sun sparkling in through your window, the children playing out on the road, the vehicles or the individuals passing by. Take in the details.
  3. Try to be happy with what you have right now: After you have pulled your concentration and thoughts back to where they can be most useful, focus on what is still positive in your life. The easiest and least demanding approach to do so is to centre it on acknowledging what you do have in your life right now. The most unimportant of things at this point can prove to be the most beneficial. For example:

    • A warm home and a rooftop over your head.
    • Water to drink.
    • Getting to eat great food.
    • Access to the internet and other forms of technology that make life easy.
    • Your loved ones.
  4. Focus on what you can do at this moment: With the amount of frustration and anger you might be feeling, it is important for you to concentrate on what you can do at the moment i.e. at present. It might involve figuring out what has been the cause for your frustration and how it can be dealt with right now or what the alternatives for it are.

Then again, you could also take your time to understand that you may have taken a lot of pressure or things have been extreme. Hence, you have to take some time or a couple of days to simply unwind, deal with yourself and maybe calm down a bit.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

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