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Relationships are either delicate or strong, depending upon the bonding with your partner. The bonding depends on various factors. Some of the most essential ones being emotional attachment, friendliness, sense of ease, mental compatibility and a feeling of sustained emotional support from the relationship. This is applicable to all relationships; be it a relationship with your spouse, a parental relation with your children, a relationship with your friends, relatives, etc.
Whenever we talk about abusive relationships, we picture black eyes and bruised cheeks. However, violence in a relationship usually doesn’t start with physical harm right away. It begins with subtlety and slowly builds up to mental and sometimes physical abuse. Here are some of the warning signs which should immediately raise red flags that a relationship is abusive or violent.
- Hurting Purposely: If your partner has ever teased you in a hurtful way and said something to hurt you only to put the blame on you for being “too sensitive”, this is a definite sign of emotional abuse that you are going through. Trust your instincts if you feel you should get out of it. Especially, if it is starting to become routine.
- Scaring You: Has it ever happened that your partner has hit a wall or driven at dangerously high speed to scare you? If the answer is yes, you’re in for trouble. This kind of behaviour gets worse! Take the warning and leave!
- Finding Faults: Many a time, it happens that your partner may start finding fault in the way you dress, do your hair, wear make up etc. He might get angry or force you to change your style to suit his way, beware! This will multiply in due course and turn into a dangerous form of domination.
- Spying: Have you ever found out that your partner has checked your personal email, your web usage, computer history or even gone through your bag and personal papers? Take a hint; this is an impending sign that your partner is trying to establish control over your life.
- Lost connection with friends and family: An important warning sign that your relationship is getting abusive is when you have lost connect with friends and family because of your partner!
- "Playful" use of force in sex: Have you been forced to have sex by your partner? Or have you been threatened with violence if you don’t comply with your partner’s wishes? These are all tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship.
There are no certain ways to tell that particular instances are warning signs of an abusive or violent relationship; the victim might not even realize, but friends and well-wishers must take notice and come forward to help.