Raj Psychological Services

Hello everyone,

My name is Mala Vohra Khanna and I am child and clinical physiologist. Aaj ham log baat karenge relationships ke baare main, healthy relationship kaise maintain kiya jaye? Ham sab ke sab aaj is baat ko jante hain ki day by day problems in married life are very common bohot commonly dekha jata hai ek husband-wife ke bich mein argument hona, husband-wife ka relationships ko enjoy na ker paana, kya hmari responsibilities rahe jisko ham discuss kar payen.

First important point over here will be that always have a clear conversation kabhi bhi indirect conversation na kariye jisko ham bolte hain taunt maarna, jisko ham bolte hain indirect tarike mein aap kisi aur se baat kar rahe hain, aap apne partner ke suna rahe hain, isse bohot negative impact ye padta hai ki aapka partner aapke upar se trust kho deta hai, partner ko lagta hai ki aap dono ko ek dusre ki problem social tarike se aap ek dusre ko bata rahe hain which is not a healthy way. Mein nahi chahungi ki merko bahar baithke koi bole ki aap as a wife is cheez mein galat hai but you will always encourage jab aapke husband aapko ek common platform pe dono ek dusre ko discuss karen husband-wife ko and wife-husband ko.

Second very important over here is respect each other value point. Hum sabke-sab jab bade hote hain, ham apni family ke culture ke hisab se hote hain, kuch sahi aur galat nahi hai agar meri ek hobby hai aur mere husband ki koi aur hobby hai ya husband ki koi aur hai ya meri koi aur hai vice versa kuch sahi galat nahi hai. Har ek ka cheezon ko karne ka apna tarika hai har samay dusre ko galat kehana ki aap galat ho, mera karne ka tarika sahi hai ye kahin na kahin relationship mein bohot jyada frustation paida kar deta hain jahan per ek feeling ajaati hai jisko ham bolate hain low confidence feeling. Aaj ke time per bohot jyada Ladies ke andar ye wali problem dekhi jaa rahi hai, where girls suffering from low confidence because they feel that everything they are doing jo bhi wo cheez kar rahi hai, wo kahin na kahin negative constant mein ja rahi hai.

Third very important thing is apology, very important point over here is apologize if you feel that you are wrong, ek dusre se mafi mang lena koi bohot badi baat nahi hai, aapki koi self-respect kam nahi hoti you are a partner, aap kahin na kahin ek hi hai, aap agar ek dusre se maafi mang lenge to isse dusre bande ko lagta hai ki aap unki care karte hain and you feel that you were at fault. Ham sab man mein jante hote hain haan meri galti thi, bohot bar hamare pass jab couples aate hain wo bolte hain ma’am nahi mein meri galti hai but main accept nahin karunga, kahin na kahin wohi hamare sabse badi galti hai jab ham kehte hai ham accept nahi karenge.

Forth very important point over here is that accept things cannot be hundred percent perfect jab bhi aap apne relation ko dusre relations ke sath compare karoge for example meri mother mere sath aisa karti thi aap nahi karte, ya for example mere father mere sath aisa karte the aap nahi karte aap aur kuch nahin kar rahe aap us relation ki importance ko kho rahe hain because afterall they are not your mother and your father. You need to accept that after all they are your spouse and they will have a lot of issues with you and you will have a lot of issues too.

At the end very importantly do not accept everything at 100% right, hundred partisht sahi ka koi definition nahi hai. Agar kabhi kuch galti ho jaati hai, usko accept karen, samay de apne relationship ko, kabhi apne problems ko sabke samne discuss na karen and bohot important hai ek dusre ko acknowledge karen, mujhe agar apne husband ki ek baat acchi lagti hai to aaj usko bataiye, words bohot important hai, ham log bohot aaram se bol dete hain nahi ma’am main jyada express nahi karta but express karne se dusre insan ko achcha lagta hai, pata chalta hai definitely aap us insaan ki care karte hain.

Thank you everyone, hope aap sabh ke sabh ek healthy relationship maintain kar payenge kisi bhi tarike ko issue chahin feel free to contact me on lybrate.

Thank you.

Hello everyone,

My name is Mala Vohra Khanna. I am a child and clinical psychologist. Today we are going to talk about parenting as a parent these days young parents feel a lot of pressure on. Bohot jyada tanav mehsoos karte hain mother bhi as well as father also jyadatar aaj ke time mein clinic per visits hoti hai jahan per mother and father tension mein rahte hain ki ham bacche ke liye kya karen? aur kya na karen? jo acha rahe. Dekhiye agar main bohot basic baat bolun to aapko kuch bhi bache ke liye special karne ki jarurat nahin hai. Aap apne bacchon ko usi tarike se treat kariye jis tarike se aapki family ka har member hai.

Starting from the first time ma’am ham bache ko kya special khilayen? bacche ko aap kuch special mat khilaiye jo ghar ka khana aap khate ho vohi aapke bacche ke liye achcha hai. Isi parkar se ki ma’am hamen kya karna chahiye jisse hamara baccha achcha rahe. Mothers bohot jyada tension mein rehti hai, pressure mein rehti hai, tanav mein rehti hain ki ham kis tarah se bacche ko treat karen. Sabse pehla tip main aapko dena chahungi ki that as a mother agar main koi galti bhi karti hoon apne bacche ke sath, baccha thodi der mein naha leta hai, bacche ka diaper thodi der mein change ho jata hai to ye sab tanav ke karan nahin hai. As a mother I can also be at fault ki mai ek maa hokar bhi thodi si galti kar sakti hoon is cheez ke liye tanav mein jana, depression mein jana, sochna, apne aapko unnecessary pressure dene wali baat hai.

Second important cheez jiske bare mein baat karna chahungi wo hai apni responsibilities ko share karen as a mother and father both of you aap dono ki jimmedari hai ki aap bacche ko sahi parvarish de or sahi parvarish ki definition yehi hai jahan per mother aur father dono bacche ke sath quality time bitayen. Agar aap bacche ke sath 4, 5, 6 ghante nahi bita sakte it is absolutely normal. Aap bacche ke saath jitni der samay bita rahe ho unke sath quality samay bitayen. Third important point, agar aap ek working mother hai to aapke bacche ki jo maid hai, jo caretaker hai, jo family member hai aapke bacche ka dhyan rakh rahe hain unke saath hamesha touch mein rahiye. Apne bacche ki har jarurat ko pahchane ki kahan mere bacche ko meri jarurat pad rahi hai, bacche ko us jarurat ko pura karne mein hi aap ek motherhood ka role bohot acche se importantly play kar sakti hain.

Fourth very important point, apne liye samay nikaliye, take out some time for you, it is very important for you to take out some time so that you can actually grow aisa nahin hai ki aap char ghante nikale, 5 ghante nikale agar aap ek din ke andar ek ghanta bhi apne aapko de rahe hain, bacche ke sath-sath aap apne aap ko samay de pa rahe hain wo abhi bohot jyada jaruri hai. Mothers samajhti hai ki ma’am ye to meri prior responsibility hai ki main apne bacche ka dhyan du aur apne aapko ignore karti chali jaati hoon aur kahin na kahin dhire-dhire wohi depression ka karan banta jata hai.

So I would request all of you, take out time for yourself, divide your responsibilities and it is okay to make mistakes in any relationship, always seeking for perfection hamesha ye soch pana ki main hundred percent perfect hoon kabhi bhi kisi cheez ka solution nahi hai. I would request all of you to enjoy your parenthood, don't make it a pressure isko pressure main mat jiye isko enjoy kariye.

Thank you.