Do you know why some people accomplish more and generally are much happier in their lives?
 
The field of Positive Psychology explains this. Research says, one of the signature strengths that such people have is "Gratitude. Gratitude makes them take better care of themselves physically and mentally. It also makes people engage in more proactive and healthy way. It promotes the motivation for exercise, healthy diet and willingness to wriggle out of any negative situations in life. It helps boost your immune system.  Since it makes you more optimistic and alert, you cope better with stress and feel healthier.

How to Have An Attitude of Gratitude?

1) Be Mindful of What You Have - Being thankful for very small things actually bring a great amount of joy. Have gratitude for small things like sunlight, rain, flowers, a cup of tea, a caring spouse, a child's laughter. It gives us the resilience to cope with tougher situations.

2) Keep a Gratitude Journal - Every night before going to bed, write down "What was the best thing that happened to you that day.  It fosters better sleep and a sense of well being and satisfaction.

3) Reframe Challenging Situations - It's not the situation but our perception of the situation that makes it challenging. You can reframe your reactions and respond by saying that "I may have a very demanding boss, but I have become more organized, patient. It will help you to attend to your work and be cheerful.

4) Practice saying Thank You - It's very simple. When you buy a bus ticket, just smile and say 'Thank You. Feel the first raindrops on your face and smile in gratitude for all the life it brings.

5) Focus your attention outwards - According to Emmons, a US psychology professor, people who are more aware of the positives in their lives tend to focus their attention outside of themselves. They feel complete, satisfied and fulfilled in their lives and are capable of helping the less fortunate ones.

If you have any questions, please click on "Consult Privately.

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5 Reasons Why Some People Accomplish More And Are Much Happier


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Anxiety is something you face a lot due to different reasons. It also leads to mutiple problems, including low confidence, giving you an uneasy or uneasy feeling and more importantly affects your general well being and ability to work. If you feel you suffer from anxiety, here are some ways to reduce it.


	Accept the anxiety: anxiety is only a temporary phase which everyone faces. If you keep worrying and try to fight it, you will become even more anxious and your health will become even worse. The only way to deal with the anxiety mentally is to accept that this is a temporary phase and that it will pass away soon.
	Self-soothing techniques: there are many physiological things for you to do as well which will allow you to relieve anxiety. Diaphragmatic breathing is a very good way to achieve this. Sometimes reassuring yourself is more valuable than you think. Practice saying comforting things to yourself and the stress and anxiety will automatically reduce. Muscle relaxation is yet another method which will allow you to decrease your anxiety.
	Monitor your diet: your diet is crucial in reducing your anxiety as caffeine and alcohol are two of the leading causes of anxiety in your body. However, abruptly stopping your intake of caffeine and alcohol also leads to withdrawal symptoms. Therefore balancing out intake of alcohol and caffeine is crucial.
	Exercise regularly: you probably know that exercise is very important for maintaining good health. However, what you probably do not know is that exercise is perhaps more effective than even medication in relieving your anxiety. Therefore, it is imperative for you to get moving.
	Get adequate sleep: everyone feels bad when they do not sleep enough. However, did you know that lack of sleep is a major cause of anxiety. The more you sleep, the less anxious you will feel.



5 Tips To Reduce Your Anxiety Instantly

The Power Of Passion

Passion is the energy that can fuel a project, or a task. It gives you the energy to jump out of bed every morning or go to bed late after you have worked out the last block that was stopping your passion from flowing. It has a similar role to inspiration. When we engage in something we are passionate about, we feel free from external and internal blocks and in control. Time recedes into the background, and we feel empowered to engage in flow. 
Research has shown that passion has brought people back to life and start thriving again, making them more emotionally stable and a strong mental equilibrium. Abraham Maslow, a US psychologist said that without passion, nobody would reach their  self actualised  state.

Passion can make or break you. Passion can make you feel invigorated, committed, focussed, connected, courageous, creative, satisfied and productive. A man can be passionate about sports and take out time every week to indulge in his passion, while keeping his boss and family happy. 

On the other hand, it can also ruin your life by being obsessed and possessed by the fire of passion. A workaholic, who doesn t go back home till 2 am and reports to office again at 10 am, he who doesn t see his children nor relaxes or does any physical activity is ensuring a quick burnout in the guise of following a passion. A harmful passion can be diagnosed easily by gauging whether it controls you or you feel in control of your life, which is about harmonious passion.

WHY  YOU MUST NEVER GIVE UP YOUR PASSION

1. Helps you unwind and relax - Zafar liked to do puzzles, crosswords and Sudoku when he started his day. It freshened him up and his mind became sharper as he looked at various permutations and combinations for the words and numbers. Daily new neural pathways were getting stronger in his brain. This exercised his left brain adequately every day. He slept well. Do remember not to do such exercises before sleeping.   

2. Expands your life - Some hobbies like travelling, cooking, collecting trivia has its own benefits. This involves physical activity and meeting up with other people. This helps a person to remain connected with society and keep active. Ram liked travelling so much that he gave up his job to become a globe trotter and tied up with a TV channel to commentate on tourist locations. He earns handsomely from his hobby. His self esteem has doubled since then.

3. Keeps your mind productively channelized - Nandini s problem was that she didn t have anything to do while the kids were away at school. She had started feeling depressed and got headaches often. She knew that she connected well with the children in the neighbourhood and had a flair for painting. She started teaching them painting in the evenings. Soon she became very busy and had no time to get bored.  She not only made new friends, she also earned the respect and awe of her community. She feels energised, happy and motivated to work while looking forward to life.

4. Success at work - Often passion has been linked to success at work. It is seen that people who are passionate, committed and hardworking often excel in their work as they have a goal to achieve. They look forward to their day and any hurdles or failures don t deter them from trying again. Neela was always passionate about becoming an IT professional. She had grown up playing with computers. Despite her family not agreeing with her choice of profession, she went ahead and burnt the midnight oil to score high in school and college. She got picked up in campus placements and today she holds a coveted position in the company. She has motivated many girls from her conservative community to study and get work.

5. Keep away illness - Having a hobby or working passionately has its own share of health benefits. People have reported higher physical and emotional immunity. They had deep and strong bonding with their community. They didn t suffer from insomnia, depression, dementia and anxiety and hope was alive in them till the end. They knew that success and failure are two sides of the same coin. 




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5 Logical Reasons You Must Never Give Up On Your Passion

When it comes to the brain and the iq, is bigger the better? does size really matter? is there really a connection between the size of your brain and intelligence? with the help of findings by neurologists 
And scientists, we seek to find out!

1. Ailments and the brain: scientists have found that children with autism have a brain that has grown in a disproportionate manner in the very first year of their life. This prevents the child from making connections with normal behaviour. On the other hand, children and adolescents who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or adhd have shown signs of having a much smaller brain size. Many scientists have shown that the size of the brain shrinks as we age, and this does not have any visible effect on our cognitive abilities.

2. It's all relative: the size of the brain does not really have a bearing on the way a person's cognition gets shaped. Even large mammals like elephants and whales are finally hunted and tamed by humans who have smaller brains in comparison. The brain is made up of billions of neurons which need to function properly. It may be seen that scientists consider the brain mass in relation with the rest of the body so as to speculate about the cognitive abilities of the person. Why is this required? large animals need a well functioning and proportionate brain size to control and run their organs with proper cognition for satisfactory results, which is what we humans seem to have done.

3. Neanderthal brains: historically, the earliest man or the neanderthals are said to have had larger brains than we do. These people are believed to have brains that are at least 10% larger than the brains that we have in our modern times. The shape of their brain was different too. They were also heavily muscled people which had a bearing on the size and shape of the brain and bodies as well as the lean tissue within the brain. They also survived very successfully for a period of over 200, 000 years, which obviously points to some form of elevated cognition, as per many scientists.

4. Animals: while animals with small brains like lizards and reptiles do not perform too well on iq tests, the animals with bigger brains like elephants and dolphins perform much better. But the medium sized brains of monkeys, lemurs and other animals are said to perform in the best manner. The correlation between the body size and the brain does not seem to hold good here, as per various researches.

So the verdict as per medical science and research stands divided!

Is There an Association Between Brain Size and Intelligence?

If people understood the benefits of laughter and it could be packaged and sold in bottles, then it would sell the most. Laughter and humour is contagious and easy to  make and use. It has many therapeutic benefits besides just enjoying a good joke. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. 

A. Laughter is good for your health:
1.Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
2.Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
3.Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
4.Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. 

B. The link between laughter and mental health:
1.Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing. You will feel lighter, happier and confident.
2.Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more. It has the capacity for a person to be in touch with the present and bounce back faster from problematic situations.
3.Humor shifts the perspective, allowing you to see situations in a less serious light. You will be able to see your own mistakes as errors of judgement, learn from them and move on. You will feel less anxiety and panic reducing your heart rate and muscle tensions.

Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.

C. Humour improves your Social Relationships
Incorporating more humor and play into your daily interactions can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends. Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
1.Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
2.Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
3.Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
4.Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface. Its easier for others to take constructive feedback when sandwiched between something light and positive. 

D. Making opportunities to laugh together:
1.Watch a funny movie or TV show.
2.Go to a comedy club.
3.Read the funny pages.
4.Seek out funny people.
5.Share a good joke or a funny story.
6.Check out your bookstore’s humor section.
7.Host game night with friends.
8.Play with a pet.
9.Go to a “laughter yoga” class.
10.Fool around with children.
11.Do something silly.
12.Make time for fun activities (e.g. bowling, picnics, games) 

However, it is important to keep in mind that you don’t laugh at someone or in their absence. Don’t resort to sarcasm and witticism, which is not clean humor and showing sensitivity towards other people’s sentiments. So take out your laughter arsenal and get ready to shoot.








LAUGHTER: THE BEST MEDICINE

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