Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

4 Easy ways to increase your libido

Libido is a term that is used to describe the sexual desire for sexual activity. According to WHO, sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being, which is why libido is one of the key factors to a sound and healthy life. As men have 40 times as much testosterone as women, they are thought to have a more intense sexual drive. Dopamine plays a strong role in libido and motivation. Physical issues like low testosterone, too much exercise, and alcohol can cause low libido. Psychological issues may include depression and stress in everyday life.

The good news is that libido can be increased through some simple measures, which are:

1. Have a positive outlook

Prolonged stress can diminish your interest in sex, and men and women have different reactions to stressful situations. Both partners need to discuss their stressful jobs each day and find a non-stressful time for sex. Besides, being self-confident and optimistic makes you feel more sexual and charming to your partner.

2. Following a proper balanced diet

Natural supplements can increase your blood flow and help fight vaginal dryness. You can try the much-touted libido-boosting foods, known as aphrodisiacs. Figs, bananas, avocados, eggs, chocolate, and mangoes can help to increase libido. Foods rich in vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and zinc may help to boost sperm count, improve sperm motility and increase testosterone production in men.

3. Prepare for intimacy

If you are planning some quality time with your partner and hope to get him/her 'in the mood' you can try chocolate and coffee. Chocolate has been as the symbol of a desire not only for its delectable taste but because of its power to improve sexual desire. Coffee and chocolate both produce positive mood states, releasing endorphins, providing energy and increasing physical endurance. Wine, or any other form of alcoholic drink, consumed in a small amount, may help people to relax and get in the mood. However, caution must be maintained as excessive consumption can result in impotence in men.

4. Take time to meditate and relieve stress

Being stressed out can affect your sex drive. To relieve stress you can indulge in sports activities and exercises. Lifting the weight or doing resistance training exercises like pushups help to break down and rebuild muscles, creating a spike in testosterone production. For many couples, working out together can become a stimulating experience that gets them in the mood. Exercises can increase performance, range of motion, endurance, boost confidence and help you look younger and more attractive.



4 Easy Ways to Increase Your Libido

1. Wash Your Hands Thoroughly - Before having sex, do remember to wash your hands. Maintaining such a basic sexual hygiene habit is important as you will be running your fingers over the tender parts of your partner. Since your hands would have come into contact with germs of all kinds, having sex with dirty hands can bring about infections of those parts. Just as you would wash your hands before having your food, don't skip this habit when it comes to having sex.

2. Communicate - Communication is vital for a healthy sex life, and you'll both feel extremely satisfied if you're on the same page. Whether you need to have conversations about STDs such as HIV, HPV or on different sexual positions and techniques, talking to one another can help you and your partner to understand each other better in between the sheets.

3. Reciprocate - Reciprocity can make or break your sex life. Sex can be satisfying only when you both you and your partner experience the same amount of pleasure. So if your partner focuses on your pleasure spots, make sure to return the favour by turning your attention to his/her erogenous zones.

4. Don't be Afraid to Ask - Good sex is also about letting your partner know what your desires are. By doing so, your partner would be able to respond better to what you want and you'll find your sex life improving for the better.

5. Don't Criticise - In case of any sexual issue that may arise between you and your partner, it's best to solve it together instead of blaming each other. Whatever suggestions you may have for each other, always put them forward in positive terms. Criticism may make your sex life bitter and can also adversely impact your relationship in the long run, so it's best to avoid it.



5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

Habits causing reduction in sperm count

There are a few very common things that a man consumes or does every day without even realizing, that they have a tendency to reduce his fertility. These causes start from drinking and could end with something as harmless as caffeine. Let’s see which habits can cause reduction in sperm count thereby reducing fertility of a man.

1. Eating processed meat harms sperm quality.
2. Excessive usage of laptop can also lead to reduction in sperm count because of the heat that a laptop releases.
3. Hormonal imbalance also causes low sperm production.
4. If a man is underweight or overweight, this could also lead to less production of sperm. So, a man should watch his weight before thinking of extending his family.
5. Exposure to too much heat for a prolonged time leads to reduction in sperm count.
6. Regular smoking also leads to reduction in sperm count.
7.Excessive stress also causes reduction in sperm count.
8. Regular and continuous exposure to chemicals like xylene, painting material and metal like lead also leads to low sperm count.
9. Chemicals present in sunscreen lotion can harm a man’s sperm count so one should be alert while using a sunscreen lotion.
10. Sex toys also cause infertility in men because of presence of phthalates in   them.
11. Regular intake of canned food can also contribute in low sperm count.
12. Regular drinking habits reduce testosterone levels thereby reducing the quality and production of sperm.
13. Excessive intake of canned food leads to intake of bisphenol A which lowers down the quality of the sperm.
14. Excess intake of caffeine also leads to reduction in sperm count.
15. Lack of exercise and laziness also reduces sperm count to a great extent.

Some of the above-mentioned things can be unavoidable, but point here is that taking everything in moderate quantity doesn’t do any harm but problem occurs when the intake is excessive, regular and beyond limit. So, it’s better to reduce the quantity and regular use of such things than letting it affect your sperm count.




Did You Know These 15 Habits Are Reducing Your Sperm Count?

There are phases in life when you do not feel energetic enough to engage in sex. It could be due to stress, long work hours or other biological reasons. A healthy, active sexual life helps in reducing a number of health issues, keeps you de-stressed, happier and most importantly, helps in keeping the relationship's spark alive! Certain foods are known to address just that and help in running your libido.

Try these boosters to get the spark back in your life.

1) Black Raspberries - They will get you into mood. Snack on it as it helps in increasing your sexual endurance. Consume at least 10 black raspberries an hour before getting busy.

2) Figs - Figs are considered excellent stimulants of fertility, enhance the secretion of pheromones. Try feasting on a few figs every day to notice a difference.

3) Cloves - Cloves are sex-superfoods. In fact, they have been used as a natural treatment for sexual dysfunction for years. They possess aphrodisiac qualities. Having a few will naturally up your libido.

4) Watermelon - Watermelon is known for boosting serotonin and endorphin levels, both of which are linked to improved sexual performance. Have the fruit regularly.

5) Eggs - Poach them, scramble them, make an omelette or do a sunny side up. There are just so many ways to eat an egg. But no matter how you eat it, the results will be the same - your libido will rocket up. It is used for heart ailments and erectile dysfunction as well.

6) Ginger - A little bit of ginger every day boosts circulation and so enhances your libido.

7) Lettuce - Lettuce is a libido booster for both men and women. Have iceberg lettuce with little salad or just nibble it and you will be good to go!

If you have any questions on improving sexual health, please click on 'Consult.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.

Boost Your Sex Drive With These 7 Foods

Don't wait any longer, manage your Tight Foreskin online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Tight Foreskin - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES