Why do men and women respond differently after sex?

Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it's no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.

How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?

A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.

What is the reason for this difference in responding?

Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy.

In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.

Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.

The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1, 900 men and 2, 500 women were a part to come to this conclusion.

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Tip: 8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

Why Do Men and Women Respond Differently After Sex?

All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

1. Wash Your Hands Thoroughly - Before having sex, do remember to wash your hands. Maintaining such a basic sexual hygiene habit is important as you will be running your fingers over the tender parts of your partner. Since your hands would have come into contact with germs of all kinds, having sex with dirty hands can bring about infections of those parts. Just as you would wash your hands before having your food, don't skip this habit when it comes to having sex.

2. Communicate - Communication is vital for a healthy sex life, and you'll both feel extremely satisfied if you're on the same page. Whether you need to have conversations about STDs such as HIV, HPV or on different sexual positions and techniques, talking to one another can help you and your partner to understand each other better in between the sheets.

3. Reciprocate - Reciprocity can make or break your sex life. Sex can be satisfying only when you both you and your partner experience the same amount of pleasure. So if your partner focuses on your pleasure spots, make sure to return the favour by turning your attention to his/her erogenous zones.

4. Don't be Afraid to Ask - Good sex is also about letting your partner know what your desires are. By doing so, your partner would be able to respond better to what you want and you'll find your sex life improving for the better.

5. Don't Criticise - In case of any sexual issue that may arise between you and your partner, it's best to solve it together instead of blaming each other. Whatever suggestions you may have for each other, always put them forward in positive terms. Criticism may make your sex life bitter and can also adversely impact your relationship in the long run, so it's best to avoid it.



5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

5 reasons your partner doesn't want to have sex anymore

There are innumerable explanations as to why couples in long-term relationships find themselves in situations when either one of the partner's starts avoiding sex for a reason the other cannot comprehend.

The explanation for your partner's behaviour may be due to an underlying medical issue or various emotional or psychological factors. Following are a few reasons why your partner does not want to have sex anymore:

1. Physical factors: your partner might be experiencing a loss of libido due to physical ailments, particularly ones pertaining to the endocrine and circulatory systems. Disorders such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, heart complications to name a few, affect the hormone levels in the body, which leads to the lack of sexual drive.

2. Psychological factors: Many mental and emotional factors also affect libido in both men and women. Stress and depression, which often cause sleep deprivation, are two of the biggest causes of unwillingness to have sex. Talk to your partner about what the root of the problem is and ascertain what is creating stress and triggering depression. Communication and counselling are the main ways of dealing with such a situation.

3. Excessive masturbation: If a person watches too much pornography and consequently indulges in masturbation frequently, sexual function is automatically lowered when it comes to performing during intercourse. If your partner masturbates too much, simply ask that the practice needs to be put an end to.

4. Lack of affection: When there is a lack of warmth and affection between partners, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse is automatically diminished. Communicate with your companion to determine ways in which you can rekindle love and passion in the relationship.

5. Addiction to narcotics: If your partner has developed an addiction to certain narcotics, such as nicotine, morphine and various anti-depressants that reduce sex drive, it could be the reason for not wanting to have sex.

The reasons for developing an aversion to sex are often extremely subjective and complex. Open and honest communications between partners may unravel the problem but in many cases, therapy and medical assistance provides the solution.



5 Reasons Your Partner Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore

Did you know keeping your private parts clean can avoid major health issues?

Private parts not only make or break intimacy but also also affect your overall health. Men and women - both need to keep them clean. Here are 5 things that you need to religiously follow.

1) Wash them everyday - In case you are not washing your private parts every day, let me share with you that it is a must-do! Your private parts are moist and house many bacteria. You can use soap to wash but an unscented or mild one. Wash them with lukewarm and clean water.

2) Clean them up before and after sex - Cleaning your private parts before and after sex is of great importance. Before sex because of etiquette. And, after sex for a healthy sexual life ahead! The body fluids or semen which gather on and near your reproductive organs, if not washed can harbour the growth of bad bacteria and set a stage for infections.

3) Groom them well - Untrimmed hair around the private parts is highly unhygienic. It can lead to too much of itching, increasing the chances of infection.

4) Wear fresh undergarments everyday - Unwashed shirts can do but unwashed boxer or briefs is a big no-no. You need to keep your underwears clean &amp; dry. Wear a fresh and clean undergarment every day. Changing your briefs after masturbation, sex, work-outs in gym is also highly recommended.

5) Don't delay visit to a doctor - If you are experiencing any sort of irritation, itching, redness, odour, swelling or other form of discomfort please do not delay in consulting a doctor. It can be a sign of a serious health problem or a severe infection.

5 Sexual Hygiene Musts For Men And Women

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

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