Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

If people understood the benefits of laughter and it could be packaged and sold in bottles, then it would sell the most. Laughter and humour is contagious and easy to  make and use. It has many therapeutic benefits besides just enjoying a good joke. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. 

A. Laughter is good for your health:
1.Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
2.Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
3.Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
4.Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. 

B. The link between laughter and mental health:
1.Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing. You will feel lighter, happier and confident.
2.Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more. It has the capacity for a person to be in touch with the present and bounce back faster from problematic situations.
3.Humor shifts the perspective, allowing you to see situations in a less serious light. You will be able to see your own mistakes as errors of judgement, learn from them and move on. You will feel less anxiety and panic reducing your heart rate and muscle tensions.

Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.

C. Humour improves your Social Relationships
Incorporating more humor and play into your daily interactions can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends. Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
1.Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
2.Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
3.Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
4.Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface. Its easier for others to take constructive feedback when sandwiched between something light and positive. 

D. Making opportunities to laugh together:
1.Watch a funny movie or TV show.
2.Go to a comedy club.
3.Read the funny pages.
4.Seek out funny people.
5.Share a good joke or a funny story.
6.Check out your bookstore’s humor section.
7.Host game night with friends.
8.Play with a pet.
9.Go to a “laughter yoga” class.
10.Fool around with children.
11.Do something silly.
12.Make time for fun activities (e.g. bowling, picnics, games) 

However, it is important to keep in mind that you don’t laugh at someone or in their absence. Don’t resort to sarcasm and witticism, which is not clean humor and showing sensitivity towards other people’s sentiments. So take out your laughter arsenal and get ready to shoot.








LAUGHTER: THE BEST MEDICINE

Being a victim or witnessing a horrific accident or personal assault can leave you shocked and scarred. Sometimes, these conditions last for months and years with memories of the traumatic incident triggering intense emotional and physical responses. This is known as post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. It is a fairly common anxiety syndrome and can be treated in a number of ways including drugs, exercise and psychotherapy. However, this treatment aims only to control the disorder and there is no known cure for PTSD as yet.

Exercise not only keeps the body fit, but also helps the body release endorphins. Endorphins help fight stress, fear and pain. Thus, exercising helps focus on the body and its movements instead of your fears. It can also help elevate the mood of a person. Low to moderate intensity exercising is ideal for a PTSD patient. Aerobics, pilates, yoga or martial arts like tai chi are known to be effective ways of reducing stress and anxiety in PTSD patients. Breathing exercises like pranayama can also help calm and relax the mind.

Exercise for a PTSD patient should be planned in repetitive sets. This enables the person to slowly master the type of exercise being done and regain control and confidence in himself. It also needs to be predictable so as to avoid triggering a PTSD emotional or physical response. Non competitive exercises are better than competitive exercises as it does not create an opportunity for the person to feel stressed. Exercising and practicing breathing techniques can also help a person analyze himself and his response to stressful situations. By understanding their reactions, a person can slowly bring about changes to handle stress in a better way.

For a PTSD patient, exercise should not be seen as a group activity but as an individual effort to increase self control. Patience is key here both for the patient and the therapist. It is also necessary for the person to have realistic goals from his exercise regimen. An exercise program for PTSD patients also needs to be flexible. In order to meet the needs of a patient, it may need to be changed in accordance to the medication he is under. Small incidents like having a flat tire when cycling can trigger anxiety in a person suffering from PTSD. However, if dealt with correctly, it can bolster confidence in the long run.

Lastly, exercising also helps improve self-image and build confidence which helps a PTSD patient break out of his protective shell and socialize with others.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - How Exercising Can Help You Overcome?

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.

Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

In India, crimes against women have been on the rise; they might have always happened at the same rate but today's media have become more attentive towards these crimes by bringing them to the forefront. Recently, the devastating news of an Assamese higher secondary student being raped and killed has surfaced. Her floating decomposed body was not discovered until 4th of May when the incident itself occurred on 28th of April. If a rape victim dies, it is the most unfortunate consequence that the parents and the loved ones have to live with but there are numerous victims who survive and they can lead a normal life with guidance and care. Any occurrence of sexual assault not only leaves scars on the outside but also have deeper psychological and emotional effects. The emotional scars can manifest in the form of post-traumatic disorder, depression and suicidal tendencies. If you know anyone who has undergone such an experience, then read on to find out how you can help her get back to her life.

Medical Examination: Physical effects of rape can be adverse on the victim. Forced sexual assault causes bruising, wounds and vaginal bleeding and immediate medical attention is required to ensure safety. Subsequent medical tests should also be carried out to check for Urinary Tract infection, Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and uterine fibroids.

Therapy: Wounds of the flesh heal, but it takes a lot of time to recover from emotional damage and in some cases the survivors bear the burden of psychological scars all through their lives. They may see the incident as an assault to their souls and develop depression, post-traumatic disorder, borderline personality disorder, sleeping and eating disorder. The loved ones have to be understanding and be patient with them. One-on-one therapy or group therapy sessions can be very helpful. Talking about their emotions and resolving issues of anger, regret, pain, fear, guilt in a friendly, supported and understanding environment can help them reconstruct their self-image.

Counseling: Guilt and shame are two most common stigmas that most survivors have to deal with. They somehow blame themselves for the incident and regret any step they think that might have led to the incident. They become so consumed by the incident that they think the experience defines them, instead of their persona which is called dissociative identity disorder. In such cases counseling sessions can prove to be very beneficial. They need guidance to understand the situation and separate themselves from the incident. The survivors may feel weak and victimized, overpowered and violated; they may also think that they have lost control of their bodies. Counseling can assist to resolve such issues and help them empower themselves with time.
It is important to make the survivors realize that it is not the end of their lives. With a positive attitude, proper rehabilitation and counseling rape survivors can lead a normal, happy life.

Overcoming Sexual Harassment: You Are Stronger Than You Think

3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For


Most people consider seeing a psychologist an act of weakness or embarrassment. Therefore, they never think that their prolonged periods of stress, anxiety, grief and conflict could be a sign that they need professional help. They fail to understand that psychotherapy is nothing but a strategy to relieve stress and make life easier to live and that often, it does not require you to get stuck amidst expensive treatments or prolonged medication and consultation sessions.
Here are 3 times when you did not know but you needed to see a psychologist.

1. You feel intense emotions
It is common for everybody to feel angry or sad at times in their life but if you feel these emotions too intensely, frequently and for prolonged durations, it may be the right time for you to see a psychologist. If your emotions overpower you to such an extent that your ability to function is impaired, it is a sure shot sign that you need professional attention. Also, if your anxiety levels are so high that you immediately imagine the worst case scenarios associated with any challenging situation that comes your way, you should not delay your visit to the psychologist because it may lead to panic attacks and paralysis.


2. You cannot stop thinking about the trauma that you had faced sometime in your life
If you are too grieved with the pain of death, loss of job, fear of accident etc. that you once faced in your life and there is no way how you think that you can get over it, you should seek immediate help from a psychologist. You may think that these feelings are natural and that you cannot do anything about them but in reality, it is not so. In fact, if left untreated, these conditions can lead you to a lifestyle where daily functioning is impaired. So if your trauma is too hard for you to handle, consider visiting a psychotherapist to prevent further damage.


3. You fall ill too quickly and headaches are a persistent problem
Being emotionally upset can affect your body in more ways than you think. So every time when you fall ill, the cause may not always be a physical medical condition. Stress and anxiety can lead to chronic illnesses like frequent stomach ache, reduced sexual drive, frequent cold, severe neck pain etc. So if you fall ill too quickly and the reasons for your illness are far beyond the comprehension of the general practitioner, it is high time that you consider visiting a psychologist.




3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For

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