3 handy tips to eliminate stress from your sex life

Stress plays a significant role in creating rifts in relationships as it mostly forbids partners from meeting each other?s physical and emotional needs. This reduces intimacy in a relationship and results in an unhappy sex life. In the modern world of continuous work pressure and fast paced lifestyle, stress generally takes away all the energy required to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Here are some tips, which will prove to be very effective in keeping stress away from your sex life.

1. Don?t make it seem necessary to have sex even if your partner is tired

If you find that stress due to problems at workplace or financial issues is affecting your partner considerably, then respect his/her decision of saying no to sex. Don?t pressurise your partner to get intimate just because you want it. Your patience and understanding nature will increase your partner?s admiration towards you, in turn leading to a more passionate and happier sex life.

2. Try to stay away from performance anxiety

Don?t let performance anxiety take a toll on your sex life. Studies show that being conscious about their performance in bed leads men to lose their erection, which takes all the pleasure away from intimate moments. Instead of being stressed about your sexual performance, focus on your partner?s needs and attend to them for a more pleasurable sex life.

3. Focus on getting rid of other stressful issues from your life

Common tensions of your daily life and everyday issues like the normal household chores, and your duties and responsibilities towards your family often leave you too exhausted to spend time with your partner. Moreover, getting preoccupied with social commitments also minimises the time available for just the two of you.

To prevent these stressful situations from affecting your sex life, try to focus on removing them. For this, you can ask for help from other family members to carry out household chores or diminish your time at social gatherings to be available for each other exclusively. Spending more time in each other?s company will not only brighten your day, but will also give you an enhanced and more intimate relationship.

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How to Eliminate STRESS From Your SEX Life

4 Things to Know Before You Lose Your Virginity

Losing your virginity can be a big experience and can be exciting as well as nerve-wrecking at the same time. Its significance is different for everyone and there are no wrong or right ways to lose your virginity. Making your first time a memorable experience is easy if you know and remember these 4 things:

1. Relax

You might be conscious about your body or nervous about pain or pleasing your partner, but you need not be. It is natural to feel insecure and nervous, but communicating your reservations with your partner will clear the air between both of you, helping you level your expectations and relax. Your first time is about exploring each other's body and pleasuring each other as well as an understanding partner will help you relax and forget your insecurities.

2. It might hurt a bit

If you are a woman, intercourse for the first time might hurt a bit if your vagina is not well lubricated before you have sex. Also, you might feel some pain and/or bleed if your hymen tears, but it will not be excruciating pain. Worrying about the pain is a lot scarier than the actual pain. Some women may not experience any pain at all. However, you should make sure you are well lubricated. Foreplay is a great way to get ready for intercourse and if it is still painful you could use additional lubricants to minimize discomfort and pain.

3. Go slow

If you are a man, help your partner be comfortable by going slow in accordance to their wish. Going too fast may hurt your partner if they are not comfortable and make your first time a traumatic experience. Try to gauge your partner's reactions and proceed in a way pleasurable to both of you. Penetrating too soon might cause you to ejaculate too quickly before your partner has climaxed. Indulge in foreplay so that both of you are ready. If your partner ejaculates too fast or is unable to hold his erection, do not feel rejected or angry, support him and help him get aroused again, as it is just an effect of nervousness and excitement.

4. Use protection

There is no truth in the saying that you cannot get an STD on your first time. It is completely possible and the only way to prevent that is to use condoms or not have penetrative sex. Women can get pregnant during unprotected sex and unless you plan to become pregnant, panicking about being pregnant for days after your first time will ruin your first time and peace of mind. Use birth control and/or condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancy after your first time, and both your partner and you will be able to enjoy losing your virginity without any worries.



4 Things to Know Before You Lose Your Virginity

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Contraceptives are generally drugs and devices, which are used to prevent pregnancy. A large number of contraceptives are available which allow the couple to enjoy sex without running the risk of unwanted pregnancies. The general categories of contraceptives are explained below:

Barrier Methods:
i. Male Condom: It is one of the most common forms of contraception. They are worn on the penis before sex is initiated. For safety purpose, a new condom should be used every time the person has sex.

ii. Female Condom: Much like male condoms, these are available at over-the-counter pharmacies without prescription. The condoms can be inserted to the vagina anytime within a period of 8 hours prior to sex.

iii. Diaphragm: This should be coated with a spermicide before sex and placed inside a woman's vagina so that the sperms are prevented from entering the uterus.

iv. Cervical Cap: These are used as replacements for diaphragms because some women may develop bladder infections such as cystitis while using it and these caps have lesser contact with the vagina.

Hormonal Methods:
The main implementation of hormonal changes to provide contraception is the pill. This is the most common form of female contraception available. It comes in two forms:
i. Combined contraceptive pill: Contains a combination of hormones such as progestin and oestrogen.
ii. Mini-pill: Contains only progestin: It is available only with the prescription of the doctor and should be used as per the prescription.

Intrauterine Devices
The intrauterine device (IUD) is a long-acting and reversible form of contraception for women. It is of two types: Copper IUD (contains copper) and Hormone-releasing IUDs (progestin hormone is released into the womb slowly). It is a small device that is fitted inside the womb and it provides contraception by facilitating the prevention of fertilization of the egg.

Sterilization
This is a lifelong option that is available for both men and women. In males, the procedure is known as vasectomy which basically ties and cuts off the tubes that carry the sperm.

In women, two forms of sterilization are available; surgical and non-surgical. Surgically, the fallopian tubes are cut and tied using small cuts in the belly so that the ovaries and uterus are not linked. Non-surgically, coils are inserted into the fallopian tubes so the resultant development of scars leads to complete blockage of the tubes.

Other forms of contraceptives include contraceptive patches, vaginal rings, contraceptive injections, spermicides and contraceptive implants.

Different Types of Contraceptives and Its Uses

Oral sex is a form of sexual activity, which involves the arousal of one's genitalia by his/her partner using the mouth (tongue, lips and throat). It is also called Cunnilingus (performed on a female) and fellatio (performed on a male). It is done before intercourse and during foreplay for sexual arousal. It is safe as compared to vaginal or anal sex, the rate of getting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV is comparatively lower. 

Oral sex can spice up your life and can also make your partner reach orgasm. It is also a safe way of getting sexual pleasure without getting pregnant. But necessary precautions must be taken in order to have safe oral sex.

Some of these necessary precautions are:

1. You can get throat cancer from oral sex: Human papillomavirus (HPV) is a cancerous virus found in the body of infected people. This virus can be transmitted to the person with whom you are engaging in oral sex. Studies show that people who engage with more than 6 sexual partners at once are more prone to get oral cancer. It is advisable to get your partner tested for HPV virus before engaging in oral sex.

2. Oral sex also causes stress: Oral sex is generally related to hygiene, therefore the partner can be self conscious and worried about his/her genital hygiene. If oral sex is performed on a daily basis, some people prefer to wax their pubic hair often. This is harmful because it can cause red bumps and burning sensation occurs. It is advisable to trim your pubic hair and wash it properly before engaging in oral sex.

3. A condom should be worn by the male during oral sex so that there is no risk of male fluid entering the woman's body.

4. A latex, which is made into a thin sheet called dental dam can be used on the vagina or anus. This creates a thin barrier between the mouth and the genitalia. Hence, chances of getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases are greatly reduced.

Oral sex can be pleasurable and fun, but the risks of getting sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, gonorrhea and crabs is not altogether misplaced. So it is advisable to use proper protection and to maintain hygiene before engaging in oral sex.

4 Ways to Have Safe Oral Sex - Necessary Precautions

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