Intercourse is meant to be a pleasurable and intimate experience. But it might become an unpleasant act if you are suffering from performance anxiety. When you are mentally occupied by questions such as "Do I look too fat?" or "Did I do that right?", sex stops being a gratifying experience.

Incessant anxiety over your ability or appearance can result in sex becoming nerve-wracking and stressful for you. It might even have you avoiding sex altogether. This psychological condition is termed as sexual performance anxiety.

Sex isn't only a physical reaction, there are emotions tied to it as well. If you are too stressed out and your mind is preoccupied, your body reflects your inner turmoil and you cannot get aroused.

Causes
The causes of sexual performance anxiety include:
1. Fear that you wouldn't be able to satisfy your partner and perform well sexually
2. Body image issues (Such as stressing about your weight)
3. Problems in your relationship
4. Men worry that their penis don't 'measure' up
5. Men might be concerned about taking too much time to orgasm, or about premature ejaculation
6. Women worry about not enjoying the experience or being unable to have an orgasm

Symptoms
Your mental state has a deep impact on your physical state. The effect of stress hormones norepinephrine and epinephrine can hinder your sexual performance. Symptoms of sexual performance anxiety include:

1. In men, blood vessels constrict due to the effect of stress hormones. This leads to reduced blood flow to the penis, thus making it difficult for the man to get an erection.

2. Often though it is less diagnosed in women, sexual performance anxiety leads to trouble in lubrication during sex. Lack of lubrication dims the desire to have sex.

Sexual performance anxiety is a vicious, inescapable cycle. Increased anxiety hampers you from having sex, making you think you won't be able to perform well, which causes even more anxiety.

Treatment
Consult a doctor you will be comfortable with discussing your problems. Sexual performance can be either treated by medication (if you have an underlying medical condition such as erectile dysfunction) or through therapy.

Talking to a therapist or counsellor about your problems can help you in several ways. You can learn to become more comfortable with yourself and your body. You can also understand your problems better, which can eliminate your anxiety.

All About Sexual Performance Anxiety

5 reasons your partner doesn't want to have sex anymore

There are innumerable explanations as to why couples in long-term relationships find themselves in situations when either one of the partner's starts avoiding sex for a reason the other cannot comprehend.

The explanation for your partner's behaviour may be due to an underlying medical issue or various emotional or psychological factors. Following are a few reasons why your partner does not want to have sex anymore:

1. Physical factors: your partner might be experiencing a loss of libido due to physical ailments, particularly ones pertaining to the endocrine and circulatory systems. Disorders such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, heart complications to name a few, affect the hormone levels in the body, which leads to the lack of sexual drive.

2. Psychological factors: Many mental and emotional factors also affect libido in both men and women. Stress and depression, which often cause sleep deprivation, are two of the biggest causes of unwillingness to have sex. Talk to your partner about what the root of the problem is and ascertain what is creating stress and triggering depression. Communication and counselling are the main ways of dealing with such a situation.

3. Excessive masturbation: If a person watches too much pornography and consequently indulges in masturbation frequently, sexual function is automatically lowered when it comes to performing during intercourse. If your partner masturbates too much, simply ask that the practice needs to be put an end to.

4. Lack of affection: When there is a lack of warmth and affection between partners, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse is automatically diminished. Communicate with your companion to determine ways in which you can rekindle love and passion in the relationship.

5. Addiction to narcotics: If your partner has developed an addiction to certain narcotics, such as nicotine, morphine and various anti-depressants that reduce sex drive, it could be the reason for not wanting to have sex.

The reasons for developing an aversion to sex are often extremely subjective and complex. Open and honest communications between partners may unravel the problem but in many cases, therapy and medical assistance provides the solution.



5 Reasons Your Partner Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore

8 Exciting Benefits Of Morning Sex

Men love morning sex. A man's body is such that he wakes up ready for sex, psychologically (and, physically) ready for sex, but has to go about his morning chores. Women, on the other hand, wake up to face the day with upcoming days errands on their mind. They need time to warm up for sex. But it is all in the head. While the male partner prefers to snuggle and have a round of morning sex, the female prefers to start the day by getting out of the bed.

The following benefits might change your opinion about the same.

1) Makes You Happier - Beginning your day with sex keeps you happier through the day, and hence healthier
2) Creates Bonding - Couples will be more connected throughout the day, even as they go about with their own work, at different locations. There’ll be a smile on their faces.
3) Enhances Immunity - It makes you upbeat and helps build a stronger immune system.
4) For Skin And Hair Health - Might come as a surprise, but it also improves the quality of your nails, skin and hair, and lessens your chances of catching a cold.
5) Improves Blood Circulation - Being a form of physical exercise which helps dilate the blood vessels and facilitate smoother blood circulation, lessening the risk of heart attack or stroke.
6) Rejuvenates You - Beginning the day with a session of lovemaking ensures you are alert and active as you feel rejuvenated.
7) Lessens Pain - Morning sex is also said to help reduce migraine and pain from arthritis.
8) Burns Your Calories - You burn around 300 calories even before your day has officially begun.


If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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 8 Reasons 'Morning Sex' Is The Best Start Of The Day

Link between Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation

Erectile Dysfunction is the inability of a man to achieve a penetrable erection while premature ejaculation is a man's inability to take control of his ejaculations during or before sexual intercourse. These conditions are two of the most common sexual dysfunctions observed among men. The prevalence of these two conditions can be found among all socioeconomic groups and among men of varying ages.

The incidence of premature ejaculation is higher and hence more common among both young and old men. Studies show that an estimated 40% of men suffer from the condition of premature ejaculation. On the other end, research also reveals that erectile dysfunction is associated with advancing age though a host of other factors like diabetes, kidney and heart diseases and certain medications can also be responsible.

How are these two conditions actually related?

It is found that in most men who have been primarily diagnosed with erectile dysfunction, the secondary concern has been premature ejaculation. The reason for both the problems is more or less the inadequate flow of blood to the penis required for a penetrable erection.

Moreover, in some cases, it was found that premature ejaculation occurred when a person was diagnosed with both mild and acute erectile dysfunction. In a similar manner, it was found that among men who suffered from ED and required constant stimulation to maintain a penetrable erection found out the instances of occurrence of premature ejaculation was high.

In some cases, it was found that the chief cause of erectile dysfunction was premature ejaculation. Because of these reasons, the two conditions are often found to co-exist and overlap one another.

In cases where both the conditions exist, treatment for ED is recommended to be sought first.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

What is the Link between Erectile Dysfunction and Premature Ejaculation?

What is Monogamous Relationship?

You (who have been tested for STD/STIs and don't have any) are having sex with only one partner (who also has been tested for STD/STIs and doesn't have any) who only has sex with you. And you both keep it that way! 

Stated another way, you are both STD/STI free and only have sex with each other. People of any sexual orientation can engage in monogamous relationships. The only thing implied by the term monogamy is that the relationship consists of two people who are romantically and/or sexually exclusive. Theoretically, outside of abstinence, this is really the safest type of "safer sex" that you can have. 

Celebrated on 1st December of each year, World AIDS Day, aims to spread awareness about HIV / AIDs. It is an STD wherein, HIV stands for human immunodeficiency infection and AIDS stands for acquired immune deficiency syndrome. The disease hinders the immune system in keeping up our body s security against sickness. HIV causes individuals to end up wiped out with infections that regularly would not affect them and HIV leads to AIDS.

Understanding the Symptoms:

HIV has few or no signs or symptoms for up to ten years or more before side effects of AIDS tends to manifest. There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, yet treatment is accessible. A few people have HIV symptoms not long after being infected. These include:

There are a few phases of HIV illness. The primary HIV side effects may include swollen glands in the throat, armpit, or crotch.
Other early HIV symptoms incorporate slight fever, headaches, exhaustion, and muscle throbs.
These symptoms may keep on going for just a couple of weeks. At that point, there are typically no HIV indications for a long time. That is the reason it can be difficult to know whether or not a person is suffering from HIV.
The symptoms of AIDS show up in the most advanced phase of the HIV disease. These are as follows:

Along with a severely damaged immune system, a person with AIDS may likewise have thrush. A thrush is a thick, whitish covering on the tongue that is brought about by a yeast infection and now and then joined by a sore throat.
Serious or repetitive vaginal yeast infection.
Pelvic inflammatory illness.
Serious and frequent infections.
Unexplained fatigue that might be followed by headaches, dizziness.
Loss of more than ten pounds of weight that is not because of physical exercise or consuming fewer calories.
Risk Factors: There are a lot of ways in which you can get the infection. HIV is transmitted through blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. The most well-known ways in which HIV is spread, are:

Having sexual intercourse without a condom with somebody who has HIV/AIDS.
Using needles or syringes that have been used by someone who has HIV/AIDS.
Being punctured with a needle or surgical instrument that has been contaminated with HIV.
Getting HIV blood, semen or vaginal discharge into open injuries or wounds.
Babies born to women with HIV/AIDS can get HIV from their mothers during birth or from breastfeeding.
There are numerous ways in which you can protect yourself from HIV. These are as follows:

The most secure way is to limit the number of sexual partners you take on.
Try to have safer sex and always use protection.
Get your partners tested for HIV.
HIV tests are a typical piece of social insurance.
In case that you think you may have been infected by HIV, talk to a specialist or a doctor about testing. Discussing what risks you might have taken can help you choose whether testing is ideal for you.

This World AIDS Day - Let's Spread the Awareness About HIV/AIDS

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

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