5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

When a person is aroused there are a host of hormonal changes within the person's body. These changes do manifest on the surface in the form of certain physical variations. Sexual stimulation happens to alter the state of human genitalia and that too in obvious ways. The blood flow to the concerned area increases, there is enough of natural lubrication in and around the organ and for women, the vagina loosens up and the clitoris swells. Intercourse followed by a climactic release will make the clitoris regain its original size. However, worries crop up when that is not the case with every single female. This serious medical condition of a swollen clitoris should never be overlooked; it must be treated by seeking experienced medical assistance.	 

1. Trauma: Any slight scratch or one wrong touch can cause a swollen clitoris. Even a scratch of your fingernail while you are masturbating or a rough sexual intercourse can and is enough to create trauma in your clitoris.

2. Hair: Hair grows normally around your genital area. It is very common for a woman to have pubic hair. But sometimes small hair splinters lead to trouble and hair gets stuck into your clitoris and causes swelling. This is a very annoying process, sometimes you may have to use a magnifying glass to remove the hair from your clitoris.

3. Clothing: sometimes your tight clothes can result in a swollen clitoris. The friction from your rough clothing material can cause your clitoris to swell. Sometimes you may be using a detergent that is not suitable for you or you may be wearing a dress material, which you're allergic to. You should always wash your clothes in plain water and dry it before using.

4. Infection: you may also have some bacterial and fungal infection in your clitoris, which can cause a swollen clitoris. This infection can also invite itchiness and redness and these can make it even worse. If it doesn't subside within some days then you should definitely see a doctor.

5. Cysts: small cysts known as Bartholomew's cysts can grow on the clitoris. This thing hampers the natural lubrication of the body.  If you are having clitoris swelling because of cysts then you should seek medical attention immediately.

Your clitoris is naturally sensitive and if you are having a swollen clitoris after intercourse then you should pull back from sexual intercourse for a few days. At times the swelling goes away on its own.

Swollen Clitoris - 5 Main Reason Behind Enlarged Clitoral  

Some people experience symptoms of erectile dysfunction and think of consuming Viagra. Viagra is the market name of a substance called Sildenafil, which is used for the correction of erectile dysfunction. It creates hypertension in the blood vessels, enabling you to get an enhanced erection. Viagra is quite useful for boosting your sexual performance. However, you may experience several side effects on your health. Before deciding on using a pack of Viagra, it is advised to consult a doctor to know the exact dosage that would work for you.

Dosages

1. 50 mg is the recommended dosage for men in general. The dose can be sometimes increased up to 100 mg. It depends on tolerance and effectiveness. The dose may also be decreased to 25 mg in some cases. It is also advised not to take Viagra more than once a day. The dosage will have to be altered if you take other prescribed medicines.

2. Viagra single packs are also prescribed by doctors. Single packs are available in dosages of 25, 50 and 100 mg.

When should you avoid viagra?

Viagra should be avoided in some cases. 

These include the following:

1. In case you take prescribed nitrates for chest pain or pulmonary disorder, your doctor would advise you not to use Viagra due as it increases the risk of high blood pressure, which can be quite disastrous for your health.

2. Many people are allergic to sildenafil, which is a substance present in Viagra.

Side effects of consuming viagra

Viagra causes several serious side effects on the body. Therefore, it is very important to take a doctor s advice and know about the different adversities. The most common side effects include the following:

1. Priapism: This is a condition where your erection lasts for about four hours or longer and does not end. Permanent damage to the penis is indicated if this condition is not treated.

2. Loss of vision and hearing impairment: Viagra may cause Non-arteritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuropathy (NAION). This disorder may lead to loss of vision in one or both the eyes. Tinnitus or hearing impairment is another condition, which may occur as a side effect of consuming Viagra.

You should always consult a doctor before you decide to take as he would know best about the dosage required by your body. He will also advise you about an ideal method of usage.

Should You Get Doctor's Advice Before Taking Viagra?

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

From a medical standpoint, sex during menstruation is completely fine. Most men have claimed that period sex seems messier when compared to intercourse on normal days, but, other than that, there aren t any risk regarding period sex. In fact, it is advisable to engage in vaginal intercourse during periods for a variety of reasons.

Here are a few things you should know about period sex:

Intercourse during periods isn t harmful: Contrary to the popular myth, period blood doesn t contain impurities which might affect the penis in any way. Instead, menstrual blood is normal blood mixed with disposed off tissues from the lining of the uterus and the penis isn t affected by menstrual blood in any way. The menstrual blood serves as excellent lubricant to make the process of intercourse smoother.
Chances of pregnancy still persist: It is not okay to completely ward off protective measures during periods because even though it is safer than other days, there might be a small chance that the sperm of a man lives on in the female body till early ovulation. Besides, the chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease is the same during period sex.
Can relieve cramps: Some women claim that having sex during their period helps ease their cramps as having an orgasm releases  pain- reducing endorphins  into the bloodstream. Also, some medical practitioners believe that sex provides relief by using up chemicals which are responsible for cramps. Thus, having period sex can prove to be relaxing and less painful than normal days.
Sexual arousal ups during menstruation: Most women feel hornier and more aroused during periods because of the increase in the hormonal levels. Some women feel heavier in the pelvic area which increases the sex drive; precisely the reason why having sex during this time is a good idea. So, for all you know, you might actually have a brilliant intercourse session when she s on her period.

Sex During Periods - What Should You Know About It!

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