5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

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Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

4 Easy ways to increase your libido

Libido is a term that is used to describe the sexual desire for sexual activity. According to WHO, sexual health is a state of physical, mental and social well-being, which is why libido is one of the key factors to a sound and healthy life. As men have 40 times as much testosterone as women, they are thought to have a more intense sexual drive. Dopamine plays a strong role in libido and motivation. Physical issues like low testosterone, too much exercise, and alcohol can cause low libido. Psychological issues may include depression and stress in everyday life.

The good news is that libido can be increased through some simple measures, which are:

1. Have a positive outlook

Prolonged stress can diminish your interest in sex, and men and women have different reactions to stressful situations. Both partners need to discuss their stressful jobs each day and find a non-stressful time for sex. Besides, being self-confident and optimistic makes you feel more sexual and charming to your partner.

2. Following a proper balanced diet

Natural supplements can increase your blood flow and help fight vaginal dryness. You can try the much-touted libido-boosting foods, known as aphrodisiacs. Figs, bananas, avocados, eggs, chocolate, and mangoes can help to increase libido. Foods rich in vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B complex, and zinc may help to boost sperm count, improve sperm motility and increase testosterone production in men.

3. Prepare for intimacy

If you are planning some quality time with your partner and hope to get him/her 'in the mood' you can try chocolate and coffee. Chocolate has been as the symbol of a desire not only for its delectable taste but because of its power to improve sexual desire. Coffee and chocolate both produce positive mood states, releasing endorphins, providing energy and increasing physical endurance. Wine, or any other form of alcoholic drink, consumed in a small amount, may help people to relax and get in the mood. However, caution must be maintained as excessive consumption can result in impotence in men.

4. Take time to meditate and relieve stress

Being stressed out can affect your sex drive. To relieve stress you can indulge in sports activities and exercises. Lifting the weight or doing resistance training exercises like pushups help to break down and rebuild muscles, creating a spike in testosterone production. For many couples, working out together can become a stimulating experience that gets them in the mood. Exercises can increase performance, range of motion, endurance, boost confidence and help you look younger and more attractive.



4 Easy Ways to Increase Your Libido

High blood pressure and sex

High blood pressure is a condition in which the pressure of the blood against the artery wall is high enough to cause health problems, including heart disease. No symptoms may be noticed in a person for years but the damage to the blood vessels and to your heart continues. High blood pressure can have an impact on your sex life. Although sexual activity does not lead to any possible threats to your health but high blood pressure can affect the pleasure you would have otherwise derived from sex.

In Men

High blood pressure leads to the wearing out of the lining of blood vessels and causes arteries to narrow and harden that decreases the blood flow. This results in decreased blood flow to the penis. In case of some men, this decreased blood flow makes it difficult for them to achieve and maintain an erection. This problem is called erectile dysfunction.

High blood pressure may also interfere with ejaculation and be a cause for low libido. The medications that are prescribed for treating high blood pressure may lead to this condition.

In Women

Just as in the case of men, high blood pressure results in the decreased flow of blood to the vagina in case of women. This may cause problems like low libido, vaginal dryness, or complexities in achieving orgasm. Sexual dysfunction in women results in stress, anxiety and even relationship issues.



High Blood Pressure and Sex

You must be aware that while emotional intimacy is highly required for a healthy relationship, physical intimacy is equally important. And, to keep things exciting and satisfying for both the partners trying out several sex positions could be the key.

If you are looking for ways to stimulate your woman to achieve orgasm and ensure pleasurable intercourse moments, mission in-her-possible, a variant of the popular missionary position, can be a good option to try. Understand the intricacies involved with this position by reading further.

What it has to offer to the women?
Women who face difficulties in having an orgasm very often can find this particular sex positions, especially known for its stimulation, is an ideal position to try. Offering the perfect clitoris and G-spot stimulation in its every thrust, it can be one of the best sex positions that can give a woman that perfect long elusive taste of pleasure when a man presses his pelvis against her clitoris. With one leg placing up in the air and one leg placing on the bed, it lets women feel the pleasure of sex and stimulation like never before.

Why will men love it too?
Men who often feel self-conscious and worried about not being able to make their partners achieve an orgasm or stimulate properly, this position can take away all their worries. Though it may demand a bit of endurance from the men's side as they have to lean forward, relying upon the resting leg of women for further guidance and support, and also a certain penis size, still, considering the results, trying this position is worth all the efforts.

Some quick facts about the position

Numbered as 13, mission in-her-possible is for specifically experienced couples. Yes, considering the difficulty levels of it, sexologists recommend it to those who have previous experience in trying various sex positions. 
It doesn t require much of stretching, despite appearing to be so. While the level of pleasure, acquired from this position, can be low for men but as far as women are concerned, pleasure level it provides is high. 
The position may not be very suitable for men with a small penis and for the women who experience pain during intercourse. Men with a penis size of 7 inches or more may be perfectly suitable for this position. 
The requirement of both stamina and flexibility for this position is medium and the pleasure quotient is high.
Remember, whenever trying this particular sex position, both the man and the woman must feel comfortable with each other. Trying  mission in-her-possible' indeed helps in improving the chances of women having an orgasm, but it is only possible when the interest of trying it develops in both the partners, participating in the sexual act.

Sex Position: Mission In-Her Possible!

Female condoms are generally pouches made of latex and polyurethane, which are used by women during sex in order to prevent pregnancy and thereby reduce the chances of infection by sexually transmitted diseases. Each end of these pouches are made of rings that are flexible. They should be inserted deep inside the vagina before sex is initiated and held in the position by utilizing the rings available at the closed end while the rings which are at the open end remain outside the vagina during sex.

Even though it can be safely used by most people, some women would find female condoms to be an inappropriate form of contraception and would not feel comfortable with their genital areas being touched. Thus, it is very important that the appropriate form of contraception be considered for you and your partner. Condoms should be used correctly. In case of need for extra protection, other options of contraception should be considered.

Pros of female condoms
1. Since the exchange of bodily fluids, such as semen and vaginal fluid is prevented, female condoms aid in offering protection against many sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV.

2. Condoms can prove to be reliable pregnancy averting methods if they are properly and consistently used.

3. Female condoms are only needed during the time of sex. Any form of advance preparation is not required, hence making them suitable for unplanned sex.

4. Prescriptions are not needed

5. The condoms are usually small in size, disposable as well as easy to carry

6. Usually, using condoms does not show any medical side effects.

7. Insertion of female condoms can be done up to a duration of eight hours before sex. The responsibility for utilizing condoms properly should be shared by the woman as well as the partner.

Cons of female condoms
1. Even though condoms are generally very strong, they are prone to splitting or tearing in case of improper use.

2. Availability of female condoms pales in comparison to the male counterparts and they are usually more expensive.

3. The outer ring might produce a cumbersome feeling.

Pros and Cons of Female Condoms

From a medical standpoint, sex during menstruation is completely fine. Most men have claimed that period sex seems messier when compared to intercourse on normal days, but, other than that, there aren t any risk regarding period sex. In fact, it is advisable to engage in vaginal intercourse during periods for a variety of reasons.

Here are a few things you should know about period sex:

Intercourse during periods isn t harmful: Contrary to the popular myth, period blood doesn t contain impurities which might affect the penis in any way. Instead, menstrual blood is normal blood mixed with disposed off tissues from the lining of the uterus and the penis isn t affected by menstrual blood in any way. The menstrual blood serves as excellent lubricant to make the process of intercourse smoother.
Chances of pregnancy still persist: It is not okay to completely ward off protective measures during periods because even though it is safer than other days, there might be a small chance that the sperm of a man lives on in the female body till early ovulation. Besides, the chance of getting a sexually transmitted disease is the same during period sex.
Can relieve cramps: Some women claim that having sex during their period helps ease their cramps as having an orgasm releases  pain- reducing endorphins  into the bloodstream. Also, some medical practitioners believe that sex provides relief by using up chemicals which are responsible for cramps. Thus, having period sex can prove to be relaxing and less painful than normal days.
Sexual arousal ups during menstruation: Most women feel hornier and more aroused during periods because of the increase in the hormonal levels. Some women feel heavier in the pelvic area which increases the sex drive; precisely the reason why having sex during this time is a good idea. So, for all you know, you might actually have a brilliant intercourse session when she s on her period.

Sex During Periods - What Should You Know About It!

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