Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

There is hardly any person who does not want to enjoy a healthy and satisfying sex life. As per Ayurveda, a healthy sex life is very much a reality provided one diligently follows the golden sex rules as mentioned in various Ayurvedic books and journals:

Ayurveda believes that a couple should refrain from having sex when the female partner is having her periods. Some health experts are of the belief that sex during periods may give rise to a condition termed as Endometriosis (the endometrial cells grow outside the uterus, often in the ovary or the fallopian tubes).
According to Ayurveda, an ideal sex position is one where the woman is lying with her face directed in an upward position.
Ayurveda also believes very overweight or obese people should avoid having sex.
Have sex only when your private parts are clean and healthy (as this helps to prevent infections and associated complications).
According to Ayurveda, loyalty and faithfulness are what gets a relationship going. Infidelity, adultery, or cheating on your wife is a crime that will only spell doom.
Ayurveda is against a couple having sex during pregnancy or immediately after delivery. One should have control over their urges. It further states that a 5-months time in the case of a C-section and 2-3 months interval in the case of a normal delivery will go a long way in ensuring a healthy sex life (will help the woman to recover well).
Ayurveda is vehemently opposes violent sex. Making love is suppose to soothe your soul rather than scar it. Violence during sex is not healthy at all.
Ayurveda believes in having sex using sexual organs. Thus, oral sex and other similar pleasures are a big No as per Ayurveda.
Ayurveda does not advocate the practice of having sex on days of prime significance such as festivals, various eclipses, on a full moon or new moon nights, to name a few.
Sex on empty stomach or after a heavy meal can trigger a plethora of health problems by causing a Vata and Pitta imbalance. The imbalance may give rise to digestive problems, headache, gastritis.
Ayurveda is strictly against the idea of having sex with aged women or with children.
Always have sex when both the partners are in a comfortable position. This is to ensure that you enjoy the intercourse sans any injury.
Never have sex if you are sick or physically and mentally not fit.
Having sex with animals (bestiality) is considered unhealthy as per Ayurveda.
Sex is not a wise idea when you have to lighten yourself (defecate or urinate).
According to Ayurveda, your sex life is governed by the four seasons during which your body strength changes.
The body strength is the lowest during the monsoon and summer, hence have less sex during that time (once in fifteen days).
With moderate body strength, sex once in three days is advisable during spring and summer.
During winter the body strength is at its peak, hence one can have sex daily.

Golden Sex Rules Of Ayurveda!

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Habits causing reduction in sperm count

There are a few very common things that a man consumes or does every day without even realizing, that they have a tendency to reduce his fertility. These causes start from drinking and could end with something as harmless as caffeine. Let’s see which habits can cause reduction in sperm count thereby reducing fertility of a man.

1. Eating processed meat harms sperm quality.
2. Excessive usage of laptop can also lead to reduction in sperm count because of the heat that a laptop releases.
3. Hormonal imbalance also causes low sperm production.
4. If a man is underweight or overweight, this could also lead to less production of sperm. So, a man should watch his weight before thinking of extending his family.
5. Exposure to too much heat for a prolonged time leads to reduction in sperm count.
6. Regular smoking also leads to reduction in sperm count.
7.Excessive stress also causes reduction in sperm count.
8. Regular and continuous exposure to chemicals like xylene, painting material and metal like lead also leads to low sperm count.
9. Chemicals present in sunscreen lotion can harm a man’s sperm count so one should be alert while using a sunscreen lotion.
10. Sex toys also cause infertility in men because of presence of phthalates in   them.
11. Regular intake of canned food can also contribute in low sperm count.
12. Regular drinking habits reduce testosterone levels thereby reducing the quality and production of sperm.
13. Excessive intake of canned food leads to intake of bisphenol A which lowers down the quality of the sperm.
14. Excess intake of caffeine also leads to reduction in sperm count.
15. Lack of exercise and laziness also reduces sperm count to a great extent.

Some of the above-mentioned things can be unavoidable, but point here is that taking everything in moderate quantity doesn’t do any harm but problem occurs when the intake is excessive, regular and beyond limit. So, it’s better to reduce the quantity and regular use of such things than letting it affect your sperm count.




Did You Know These 15 Habits Are Reducing Your Sperm Count?

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

How to End Sexual Problems? Is Exercise the Real Solution?

Whether you suffer from premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, are unable to get an orgasm - or you just want to improve your sex life, Every problem is connected to one major solution, it's important to exercise your 'sex' muscles.

A. Kegel Exercises - Cure For Erectile Dysfunction, Urinary incontinence and Nightfall

What Are Kegel Exercises?

Kegel exercises are easy exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

How Do I Find My Pelvic Muscles?

In order to help strengthen you pelvic floor muscles, it is important that you take time to make sure you are exercising the right muscles.

Try to stop and start your urine stream while you are about to urinate . Try to do this two or three times. The muscles you use to stop your urine flow are your pelvic floor muscles.

How Do I Do A Kegel Exercise?

Now that you have located your pelvic floor muscles, you can exercise them even when you do not have to urinate  by following these simple steps:

1. Tighten and hold your pelvic floor muscles for five seconds (count 1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand, 4 one thousand, 5 one thousand).

2. Relax your pelvic muscles.

You have just done one Kegel exercise. You should plan to do 10 to 20 Kegel exercises three to four times each day.

Another way to tighten your pelvic floor muscles is to:

1. Squeeze the muscles in your anus (like you are holding a bowel movement).

2. Relax your pelvic floor muscles after each attempt.

3. Repeat this exercise 10 to 20 times.

When you do your Kegel exercises, remember

Do not hold your breath.

Do not push down.

Squeeze your muscles together tightly and imagine that you are trying to lift this muscle up.

Do not tighten the muscles in your stomach, buttocks, or thighs

Relax your pelvic floor muscles between each squeeze.

How Often Should I Do Kegel Exercises?

Your goal should be to do 20 Kegel exercise three to four times each day. The great thing about Kegel exercises is that you can do them anytime you want to do them

Kegel exercises can help both men and women. Some men's partners do the exercises with them. The more you do them, the stronger your pelvic floor muscles will become.

It can take six weeks or longer to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles

B. The Push-Ups

Lower yourself Only halfway down while doing push up, do not touch the ground.

Halfway down push-ups are easier to achieve and enable you to do faster reps, which, as well as increasing your sexual strength, will also increase your sexual fitness and stamina. Do sets of 10 or 20 push ups.

C. Rebound Exercise

It is performed on a device known as a rebounder/mini-trampoline. Rebounding for 10 minutes twice a day will do wonders for your Sexual health. It strengthens your pelvic floor, abdominal, hip and upper leg muscles as well as strengthening your lymphatic system.



How to End Sexual Problem? Is Exercise the Real Solution?

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