5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

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Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Oral sex is a form of sexual activity, which involves the arousal of one's genitalia by his/her partner using the mouth (tongue, lips and throat). It is also called Cunnilingus (performed on a female) and fellatio (performed on a male). It is done before intercourse and during foreplay for sexual arousal. It is safe as compared to vaginal or anal sex, the rate of getting a sexually transmitted disease or HIV is comparatively lower. 

Oral sex can spice up your life and can also make your partner reach orgasm. It is also a safe way of getting sexual pleasure without getting pregnant. But necessary precautions must be taken in order to have safe oral sex.

Some of these necessary precautions are:

1. You can get throat cancer from oral sex: Human papillomavirus (HPV) is a cancerous virus found in the body of infected people. This virus can be transmitted to the person with whom you are engaging in oral sex. Studies show that people who engage with more than 6 sexual partners at once are more prone to get oral cancer. It is advisable to get your partner tested for HPV virus before engaging in oral sex.

2. Oral sex also causes stress: Oral sex is generally related to hygiene, therefore the partner can be self conscious and worried about his/her genital hygiene. If oral sex is performed on a daily basis, some people prefer to wax their pubic hair often. This is harmful because it can cause red bumps and burning sensation occurs. It is advisable to trim your pubic hair and wash it properly before engaging in oral sex.

3. A condom should be worn by the male during oral sex so that there is no risk of male fluid entering the woman's body.

4. A latex, which is made into a thin sheet called dental dam can be used on the vagina or anus. This creates a thin barrier between the mouth and the genitalia. Hence, chances of getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases are greatly reduced.

Oral sex can be pleasurable and fun, but the risks of getting sexually transmitted diseases like herpes, gonorrhea and crabs is not altogether misplaced. So it is advisable to use proper protection and to maintain hygiene before engaging in oral sex.

4 Ways to Have Safe Oral Sex - Necessary Precautions

Many people suffer from a low libido problem. This can be a problem for their partners as well as for themselves. A low sex drive can also reduce one's self esteem and confidence. In severe cases it also leads to depression.

Factors which cause low sex drive:
1. Sexual problems: Many sexual problems also lead to a low sex drive. An inability to experience orgasm even after a lot of attempts can make one indifferent to sex. Some people also experience pain because of a tight vagina. In such cases their desire to have sex reduces greatly.

2. Medical diseases: Many medical conditions also affects your libido, such as cancer, arthritis, blood sugar (diabetes), artery diseases, high blood pressure and neurological diseases.

3. Medications: Some people suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. To get over these disorders most doctors prescribe them antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills, these medications create a very low libido.

4. Habits: Many lifestyle habits such as over-consumption of alcohol can make your sex drive reduce a lot. Smoking also decreases the blood flow in your body which may make your libido fall.

5. Surgery: Reconstructive surgeries such as breast reconstruction surgery and genital tract surgery can also affect sexual desire and give your body signals to not engage in an intercourse.

6. Fatigue: Tiredness because of physical activities or caring for your old parents or young children can also make you uninterested in sex. Your body and brain might not have the energy to engage in an intercourse due to fatigue.

7. Menopause: The levels of estrogen reduce greatly during menopause. Low estrogen levels make your vagina dry hence sex can be uncomfortable and painful. Women also go through hormonal changes which make them suffer from a low libido.

8. Pregnancy: After pregnancy, breastfeeding your baby becomes an everyday activity. This can reduce sexual desire because of the pressure of caring for a new born baby.

Regular exercising complemented with enough sleep is known to reduce stress thus giving you a high sex drive. Avoid consuming alcohol. Testosterone replacement therapy (a therapy used for treating erectile dysfunction) also treats low desire.

Worrying Factors That Lead to a Low Sex Drive

The primary difference between pickle and chutney lies in the fact that pickles are meant to be preserved for months together while chutneys are devoid of preservatives and are required to be consumed very soon. Both of these food items proffer a host of health benefits including an optimum supply of all the needful minerals and vitamins along with the antioxidants. Some of the ingredients present in the pickle and chutney help in controlling high blood pressure, diabetes, improves digestion and immunity.

Pickles and the process of preparing the pickles
The process of making pickles is known to have originated in India, and it was the most viable way of preserving food items so that it can be stored for future usage. The process started as a means of preserving those food items, which are not available all through the year. The conventional means of preparing pickles in oriental style incorporates the usage of ingredients like oil, salt, chilli powder along with other condiments. The ingredients are mixed as per the set proportions, and there are many health benefits of eating pickles on a regular basis.

As per the reports of NSDA, pickles contain moisture, energy, fat, protein, carbohydrates, fibres, vitamins and sugar. The long list of vitamins includes Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin B-12, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, and folate. Indian pickles abound in phosphorus, iron, magnesium, sodium and potassium. The health benefits of pickles include the supply of necessary antioxidants, probiotics which are the gut-friendly antibiotics, helps in digestion, improve haemoglobin levels in anaemic people. There are some pickles which aid in controlling blood pressure levels and have hepatoprotective properties.

Chutney and their health benefits
Chutneys are a ubiquitous component of Indian cuisine, and some of the most common flavours added to the chutneys include ginger, garlic, onion salt, sugar and tamarind among others. Homemade chutneys prepared in almost all Indian households can be preserved for about a week in the refrigerator. Chutneys are filled with vitamins along with other nutrients, and less usage of oil makes it fat-free. They are rich in antioxidants, and sometimes fresh leaves are added to ensure inclusion of chlorophyll.

Just like pickles, chutneys also offer a wide range of advantages for one s health. It provides the body with the needful amount of antioxidants which are the micronutrients that aid in protecting the body from the free radicals. These free radicals are a type of unstable chemicals being generated at the time of cellular metabolism and react with the cells and cause damage to the DNA. The DNA then becomes unstable and gives way to the production of more free radicals which can be controlled by the consumption of antioxidants. The chutneys also supply the body with all the vitamins, minerals and other micronutrients which are necessary for sustaining healthy living.

To conclude, both pickles, as well as chutneys, are a significant part of the Indian food habits. Both of these items have a great taste and offer a wide variety of health aids which testifies to their consumption on a regular basis.

Pickle vs Chutney - Which Is Healthier?

Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

Here is a list of 3 scientifically proven ways of increasing intimacy with your partner.

1. Look them in the eye and tell them all about yourself

Self-disclosure is an important part of relationships, especially during the initial phase. However, gradually as people feel that they've known enough about each other, communication seems to come to a standstill.

But the actual reason for this is not the lack of things to talk about but resistance which arises out of a feeling of vulnerability. It mostly happens in established relationships because both the partners do not wish to break past the certainty and assurance.

Therefore, the revealing part that may lead to some changes in perception is often skipped. However, not doing so and truly communicating with your partner can help you in increasing intimacy and having a deeper connection with your partner.

2. Share the laughter

Sharing the joy and the humorous experiences is a great way of increasing intimacy with your partner. Since every person's sense of humour is different, humour is a deeply personal aspect of your personality. Therefore, when you share genuine laughter with your partner that is when your sense of humour matches with each other, it improves your understanding and builds intimacy.

3. Tell them how you feel and know how they feel

It is extremely important for you to talk with your partner about how you feel - not just about the relationship, but about other important aspects of your life as well. If conflicts are dealt with by discussing how you feel about them and not on the lines of rationality, you end up feeling more intimate with your partner. Honestly discussing and exchanging your feelings is an amazing way of increasing your intimacy with your partner.



3 Proven Ways of Increasing Intimacy

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