Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Many people suffer from a low libido problem. This can be a problem for their partners as well as for themselves. A low sex drive can also reduce one's self esteem and confidence. In severe cases it also leads to depression.

Factors which cause low sex drive:
1. Sexual problems: Many sexual problems also lead to a low sex drive. An inability to experience orgasm even after a lot of attempts can make one indifferent to sex. Some people also experience pain because of a tight vagina. In such cases their desire to have sex reduces greatly.

2. Medical diseases: Many medical conditions also affects your libido, such as cancer, arthritis, blood sugar (diabetes), artery diseases, high blood pressure and neurological diseases.

3. Medications: Some people suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. To get over these disorders most doctors prescribe them antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills, these medications create a very low libido.

4. Habits: Many lifestyle habits such as over-consumption of alcohol can make your sex drive reduce a lot. Smoking also decreases the blood flow in your body which may make your libido fall.

5. Surgery: Reconstructive surgeries such as breast reconstruction surgery and genital tract surgery can also affect sexual desire and give your body signals to not engage in an intercourse.

6. Fatigue: Tiredness because of physical activities or caring for your old parents or young children can also make you uninterested in sex. Your body and brain might not have the energy to engage in an intercourse due to fatigue.

7. Menopause: The levels of estrogen reduce greatly during menopause. Low estrogen levels make your vagina dry hence sex can be uncomfortable and painful. Women also go through hormonal changes which make them suffer from a low libido.

8. Pregnancy: After pregnancy, breastfeeding your baby becomes an everyday activity. This can reduce sexual desire because of the pressure of caring for a new born baby.

Regular exercising complemented with enough sleep is known to reduce stress thus giving you a high sex drive. Avoid consuming alcohol. Testosterone replacement therapy (a therapy used for treating erectile dysfunction) also treats low desire.

Worrying Factors That Lead to a Low Sex Drive

The primary difference between pickle and chutney lies in the fact that pickles are meant to be preserved for months together while chutneys are devoid of preservatives and are required to be consumed very soon. Both of these food items proffer a host of health benefits including an optimum supply of all the needful minerals and vitamins along with the antioxidants. Some of the ingredients present in the pickle and chutney help in controlling high blood pressure, diabetes, improves digestion and immunity.

Pickles and the process of preparing the pickles
The process of making pickles is known to have originated in India, and it was the most viable way of preserving food items so that it can be stored for future usage. The process started as a means of preserving those food items, which are not available all through the year. The conventional means of preparing pickles in oriental style incorporates the usage of ingredients like oil, salt, chilli powder along with other condiments. The ingredients are mixed as per the set proportions, and there are many health benefits of eating pickles on a regular basis.

As per the reports of NSDA, pickles contain moisture, energy, fat, protein, carbohydrates, fibres, vitamins and sugar. The long list of vitamins includes Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin B-12, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, and folate. Indian pickles abound in phosphorus, iron, magnesium, sodium and potassium. The health benefits of pickles include the supply of necessary antioxidants, probiotics which are the gut-friendly antibiotics, helps in digestion, improve haemoglobin levels in anaemic people. There are some pickles which aid in controlling blood pressure levels and have hepatoprotective properties.

Chutney and their health benefits
Chutneys are a ubiquitous component of Indian cuisine, and some of the most common flavours added to the chutneys include ginger, garlic, onion salt, sugar and tamarind among others. Homemade chutneys prepared in almost all Indian households can be preserved for about a week in the refrigerator. Chutneys are filled with vitamins along with other nutrients, and less usage of oil makes it fat-free. They are rich in antioxidants, and sometimes fresh leaves are added to ensure inclusion of chlorophyll.

Just like pickles, chutneys also offer a wide range of advantages for one s health. It provides the body with the needful amount of antioxidants which are the micronutrients that aid in protecting the body from the free radicals. These free radicals are a type of unstable chemicals being generated at the time of cellular metabolism and react with the cells and cause damage to the DNA. The DNA then becomes unstable and gives way to the production of more free radicals which can be controlled by the consumption of antioxidants. The chutneys also supply the body with all the vitamins, minerals and other micronutrients which are necessary for sustaining healthy living.

To conclude, both pickles, as well as chutneys, are a significant part of the Indian food habits. Both of these items have a great taste and offer a wide variety of health aids which testifies to their consumption on a regular basis.

Pickle vs Chutney - Which Is Healthier?

6 Unexpectedly easy ways to give your sex life a whole new dimension

New Year is a good the time for new beginnings. At times our sex lives needs to be revived too. After a few years together, a couple’s sex life may begin to stagnate. A boring sex life can negatively impact your relationship as well. But by employing some very easy tricks in the bedroom, you can bring back the passion and add spark to your life. 
Can’t figure out where to start? Here are 6 tips and tricks to help you out. 

1. Be spontaneous: One of the main reasons a couple’s sex life dwindles is because they fall into a routine. Whether it’s the position you choose, or the sequence of events- right from foreplay to the actual intercourse- every couple has their own set routine. Break this monotony and try out new positions that can greatly enhance your pleasure. Also, try having sex somewhere else in the house that you haven’t before to spice things up.

2. Don’t be shy: Sex is one of the most intimate acts you can share with someone. However, sometimes you may find yourself being unable to open up to your partner about what gets you in the mood. This can make sex an unfulfilling experience. Try telling your partner what you’d like him/her to do. You might end up discovering that both of you share a common fantasy you hadn’t spoken about before.

3. Explore all erogenous zones: There are a lot of erogenous zones on a man and woman’s body. Take your time and get to know every single one of them. If you don’t know where they are, explore your partner’s body and see what turns him/her on and where. This is a great exercise that also sets the foundation for more fulfilling sex in the future. 

4. Experiment with your lingerie: Clothes can be a turn on or a turn off depending on what you wear. Try experimenting with your lingerie. A host of options are available out there for both men and women. These days you can even buy edible lingerie on leading online shopping sites. Choose bright shades like red, as they’ve been proven to increase arousal.

5. Play around with sex toys: Introducing sex toys in your bedroom can prove to be very stimulating as well as exciting for both you and your partner. Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, for both men and women. You can take your pick from vibrators and vibrating rings, handcuffs, etc; even lubricants and gels can be used to enhance pleasure and make sex more exciting.

6. Shave your pubic hair: Another way to give your sex life a whole new dimension, shaving off your pubic hair can increase the sensitivity in your genitals making sex a more pleasurable experience. Besides, for many shaved genitals have a visual appeal and cause intense arousal, which is very important when it comes to having a satisfying sex life. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

6 Easy Ways to Give Your Sex Life a New Dimension in 2016

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

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