5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are infections that you can get from having sex with someone who already has the infection. The causes of STDs are bacteria, parasites, and viruses. These infections often do not cause any symptoms, and can still be passed unknowingly from the infected partner to the other. However, some common symptoms include genital itching, lesions, flu / fever like symptoms and feeling pain / pressure in the lower part of the stomach.

There are many kinds of STDs including Chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, syphilis and HIV.

The important thing to understand and know is that these STDs can be prevented.

3 ways of preventing STDS are:

1. Precautions before having sex

There are some things you can do to reduce your risk of contracting STDs before having sex. This include:

  Limiting the number of sexual partners
  Talking honestly with partners about your sexual history
  Getting tested, along with your partner, before having sex
  Getting timely vaccination against HPV and HBV

If you have been diagnosed with an STD you should tell your partner about it and also explicitly ask your partner if they have had an STD.

2. Practice safe sex

Use a latex condom every time you have sex and use a water-based lubricant. If your sex life involves intercourse, anal or vaginal, make up your mind to never have sex without a condom. If you or your partner is at a high risk of STDs, be consistent about barrier use during oral sex as well. Avoid sharing towels or underclothing to reduce the risk of an STD. Check the expiration date of the condom and make sure that it has an air bubble, which shows it has not been punctured. Dispose the condom properly and never reuse it.

3. Don't drink Alcohol or use drugs before having sex

It's impossible to make responsible choices about your sex life under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When you are under the influence of any one of them, you are not in your mind and are likelier to choose a partner you wouldn't have picked otherwise. In that case, you may be at a higher risk of contracting an STD. Also, if you are on birth control pills and you vomit, the pills could lose some effectiveness.



3 Ways You Can Prevent STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)

Did you know keeping your private parts clean can avoid major health issues?

Private parts not only make or break intimacy but also also affect your overall health. Men and women - both need to keep them clean. Here are 5 things that you need to religiously follow.

1) Wash them everyday - In case you are not washing your private parts every day, let me share with you that it is a must-do! Your private parts are moist and house many bacteria. You can use soap to wash but an unscented or mild one. Wash them with lukewarm and clean water.

2) Clean them up before and after sex - Cleaning your private parts before and after sex is of great importance. Before sex because of etiquette. And, after sex for a healthy sexual life ahead! The body fluids or semen which gather on and near your reproductive organs, if not washed can harbour the growth of bad bacteria and set a stage for infections.

3) Groom them well - Untrimmed hair around the private parts is highly unhygienic. It can lead to too much of itching, increasing the chances of infection.

4) Wear fresh undergarments everyday - Unwashed shirts can do but unwashed boxer or briefs is a big no-no. You need to keep your underwears clean &amp; dry. Wear a fresh and clean undergarment every day. Changing your briefs after masturbation, sex, work-outs in gym is also highly recommended.

5) Don't delay visit to a doctor - If you are experiencing any sort of irritation, itching, redness, odour, swelling or other form of discomfort please do not delay in consulting a doctor. It can be a sign of a serious health problem or a severe infection.

5 Sexual Hygiene Musts For Men And Women

6 Symptoms of Low Testosterone

Testosterone is an important hormone for men and is responsible for male sexual and reproductive health. It begins to spike during the years of puberty, helping in development of primary and secondary sexual characters. In boys, it helps to build muscles, deepens his voice, and boosts the size of their penis and testes. It plays an important role during later years as well, by maintaining mood, libido, emotional and physical health. That’s why low testosterone can cause a variety of problems in men. 

Here is a list of symptoms that will help you understand if you may have lower testosterone levels.

1. Drop in Energy: Sometimes, we all feel full of energy, but sometimes those energy levels are quite low. And then, there are occasions when we feel low on energy, you may feel that you are getting tired easily and frequently. Fatigue is one of the common effects of low testosterone. If this happens with you regularly, if you are tired all the time despite sleeping for 6-8 hours, consider getting yourself checked by a consultant.

2. Changes in Sex Life: A sudden drop in your sex drive or facing problems in erection (erectile dysfunction) can be another  common symptom of low testosterone. But you should get yourself tested for other conditions as well, including heart disease or diabetes, especially if you are over 35 years of age. Ask for online consultation if you want everything to be private and discreet.
 
 3. Fuzzy Thinking: Do you sometimes think that your thoughts are a blur? Low testosterone can also impact your memory. It can make you feel stressed, sad and even depressed, resulting in concentration problems. These  can be a result of low testosterone

4. Mood Changes: Testosterone directly impacts your mood, even leading to extreme sadness or psychological depression. If nothing seems to make you happy, if you are not what you used to be, then visit a doctor.

5. Muscle Changes: Muscle mass and strength reduces over the years. As testosterone helps build muscle, low levels may be the cause if you witness sudden drop in muscle mass. In such a case you should consult a doctor. It can be because of low hormone function.

6. More Body Fat: If you have been enjoying a more fit or healthier weight most of your life but suddenly start gaining weight, it might point towards low testosterone in the body. Also, if you are unable to lose weight even on a healthy diet, consider consulting a doctor.



6 Symptoms of Lower Testosterone - Most Important Male Sex Hormone

How much sex should you really have?

Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.

There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.

The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.

The health benefits of having sex are - 
As per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:
   It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseases
   It improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence
   It prevents erectile dysfunction in men
   It improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressure
   It acts as a stress reliever
   It improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart disease
   It reduces sensitivity to pain
There are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.

Is there a limit to having sex?
A large number of people all around the world are concerned about their carnal compulsions and frequently approach sex therapists about what frequency of sex constitutes as a 'healthy' dose.

There really is no such thing as too much sex. But if overindulgence in sexual activities causes a disturbance in everyday activities such as work, classes, household responsibilities and other obligations, it becomes a problem. If such a situation arises, it might be signs of a sex addiction in which case it is important to consult a sexologist or sex therapist. Ideally, having sex two times a day is good for your body, mind and soul.



How much sex should you really have?

People who have healthy sex life are not only happier but also healthier than those who don't. Here are 9 health benefits you never knew sex can provide -

1) Rocking Immune System: Regular sex ensures higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders.

2) Lowers Blood Pressure: One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.

3) Great Exercise: Sex is a really great form of exercise. It is a muscular exercise that burns calories and increases your heart rate.

4) Lowers Heart Attack Risk: Great sex life is good for your heart. It not just raises your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

5) Reduces Pain: Getting an orgasm can block pain. Vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache.

6) Improves Sleep:  People usually dose of quickly after sex and tend to get a sound sleep.

7) Relieves Stress: Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain's pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy relieve you of stress and boost your self-esteem and happiness too.

8)  Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer: A study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer.

9) Helps Women's Bladder Control: Incontinence, a problem that affects about 30% of women at some point in their lives is helped with a regular sex. Good sex is like a workout for their pelvic floor muscles. An orgasm causes contractions in those muscles thus strengthening them

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Having Sex - 9 Health Benefits

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