Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Alchol can it affect your intimacy level with your partner, yes! But with this you might be wondering how can that be possible when you actually sustain yourself for long, maybe longer than you should be. It is probably the  whiskey penis . Alcohol may give you a sense of elation at one point of time, but it is essentially a nervous depressant. The over consumption of alcohol mainly has a reduced effect on sensitivity for both men and women.

How alcohol affects sex life in men: The effect of alcohol on the sex life of men is immense. In most cases, chronic and acute cases of alcohol consumption have shown to reduce the production of testosterone in men. Since testosterone is the hormone that results in the increase in libido in men, the effects of alcohol really reduce the performance in men. It has shown to reduce pleasurability and it can also reduce the intensity of orgasms. Sometimes, it can cause difficulty in ejaculation or delayed ejaculation.

How alcohol affects sex life in women: Alcohol can have a very mixed effect on women in general. While it can increase sexual arousal and desire, it can also result in low sensitivity. Women have a higher percentage of fat as compared to water in their bodies, this means that alcohol has a more profound effect on their bodies as compared to that in men. Their bodies also take longer to process and eliminate the alcohol. While some women report a heightened sense of sexual arousal and an increase in the duration of the orgasm, a large number of women also complain of lesser lubrication.

Alcohol also has a psychological effect; that is the loss of inhibition that may help in developing carnal instincts when intoxicated. This psychological effect may have a more profound effect than the physiological effects as a result of which women might claim that alcohol does indeed help in better sex.

Alcohol - How it Affects Your Sex Life?

8 amazing health benefits of masturbation

Masturbation can be extremely beneficial to your health and well-being. It doesn't just feel good, it has other benefits too that can vastly improve your health and life.

Here are some reasons why you should masturbate regularly:

1. It boosts your mood

Masturbating releases the hormones oxytocin and dopamine, which improve your mood and give you a natural high. It helps you relax and decreases your stress and anxiety levels.

2. Helps you sleep

Having an orgasm relaxes you physically and mentally, relieves tension and makes you feel satisfied due to the lowering of blood pressure and the release of endorphins. This helps you fall asleep faster and sleep better.

3. Lesser junk food cravings

The release of oxytocin makes us feel happier, lowering emotionally triggered food cravings, which help you make better food choices and avoid unhealthy and fattening 'comfort' food.

4. Relieves cramps

Masturbation can help relieve menstrual cramps. It increases blood flow to your pelvic region and hence eases pain, cramps and backaches.

5. Helps cure urinary tract infection in women

Those suffering from utis can get relief by masturbating as it flushes out bacteria from the cervix.

6. Prevents prostate cancer

Masturbation flushes out the toxin build-up in the urogenital tract, making men who ejaculate frequently three times less likely to develop prostate cancer.

7. May get rid of restless leg syndrome

People who suffer from restless leg syndrome feel a constant need to move their limb, which may cause leg pain and cramps. A publication in 'sleep medicine', a medical journal suggests that sex and masturbation may help relieve symptoms of rls.

8. Boosts your immunity and general health

Ejaculation in males triggers the release of cortisol, a stress hormone. Although stress inducing, experts believe that small doses of this hormone help build your immunity. In women, masturbation is known to improve cervical and cardiovascular health while also reducing the risk of type-2 diabetes.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: 6 Common Myths on MASTURBATION, Busted!

8 Unbelievable Health Benefits of Masturbation

These 5 surprise foods lower your libido and dampen your sex drive.1. Coffee- Too much caffeine can cause stress and hormonal imbalances.2. Artificial Sweeteners- Artificial sweeteners contain aspartame, an ingredient that causes trouble for your body’s happy hormone (serotonin), without which your mood and libido tends to suffer.3. Dairy products- Overconsumption of dairy products like cheese induces toxins that interfere with the production of the natural, mood uplifting hormones.4. Crispy delights- A pack of chips by your bedside is enough to lower your libido.5. Corn flakes- Did you know that Dr John Harvey Kellogg, made this cereal as a part of a bland diet to lower people’s sex drive? It is best to stay away from corn flakes before going to bed. 
			
				
				
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5 Foods To Avoid Before Having Sex

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are infections that you can get from having sex with someone who already has the infection. The causes of STDs are bacteria, parasites, and viruses. These infections often do not cause any symptoms, and can still be passed unknowingly from the infected partner to the other. However, some common symptoms include genital itching, lesions, flu / fever like symptoms and feeling pain / pressure in the lower part of the stomach.

There are many kinds of STDs including Chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, syphilis and HIV.

The important thing to understand and know is that these STDs can be prevented.

3 ways of preventing STDS are:

1. Precautions before having sex

There are some things you can do to reduce your risk of contracting STDs before having sex. This include:

  Limiting the number of sexual partners
  Talking honestly with partners about your sexual history
  Getting tested, along with your partner, before having sex
  Getting timely vaccination against HPV and HBV

If you have been diagnosed with an STD you should tell your partner about it and also explicitly ask your partner if they have had an STD.

2. Practice safe sex

Use a latex condom every time you have sex and use a water-based lubricant. If your sex life involves intercourse, anal or vaginal, make up your mind to never have sex without a condom. If you or your partner is at a high risk of STDs, be consistent about barrier use during oral sex as well. Avoid sharing towels or underclothing to reduce the risk of an STD. Check the expiration date of the condom and make sure that it has an air bubble, which shows it has not been punctured. Dispose the condom properly and never reuse it.

3. Don't drink Alcohol or use drugs before having sex

It's impossible to make responsible choices about your sex life under the influence of drugs or alcohol. When you are under the influence of any one of them, you are not in your mind and are likelier to choose a partner you wouldn't have picked otherwise. In that case, you may be at a higher risk of contracting an STD. Also, if you are on birth control pills and you vomit, the pills could lose some effectiveness.



3 Ways You Can Prevent STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases)

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